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I thought I'd share some of my favorite my bad luck stories from you guys.
和大家分享一些我最喜欢的霉运小故事。
This first one from @sanemomofmany. She says, I thought I won the Michigan lottery after I hit all five numbers and the Powerball,
第一个来自@sanemomofmany，她说我认为我赢得了密西根彩票大奖，因为我猜中了所有五个数字和强力球，
then realized I was looking at a ticket from the week before. Just reading your ticket.
但发现我正在看上周的彩票，我只是在读这张彩票。
Oh, my gosh! I got my numbers that I choose. From the week before. Yeah, that's your ticket.
老天，这是我选择的号码，是一周之前的，没错，这是你的彩票。
This one is from @angelfan. She says, When I was young, I went through a haunted house, fell down, and twisted my ankle.
这个来自@angelfan，她说我小的时候，我进入了一个鬼屋，摔倒了，扭了我的脚踝。
I started yelling for help, but everyone thought I was an actor and stepped over me.
我开始尖叫着寻求帮助，但所有人都认为我是演员，都跨过了我。
It's pretty realistic! That's pretty realistic! She looks like she's in pain! She's, like, really crying. Real tears.
这就是事实，这就是事实啊，她看上去很疼的样子，她开始哭了，真的眼泪。
Oh, man. She looks like she's really in pain, man. That looks like real blood!
老天，她看上去确实很疼，很像是这真的血迹。
This one is from @bearknowy. Bearknowy? He says, Out of habit from texting my wife,
这个来自@bearknowy，Bearknowy？他说我出于习惯给我老婆发短信，
I ended a text to my boss with I love you. He texted back, I love you, too.
结果我给老板发了个我爱你，他回复说我也爱你。
Aww. Hey. That's kind of cute. Bearknowy. This one's from @Sonyaday11.
哦哦，很可爱哦，Bearknowy，这个来自@Sonyaday11，
She says, My car was hit by a bathtub that fell out of a truck.
她说我的汽车被卡车掉下来的浴盆砸中。
They don't teach you to avoid falling bathtubs in drivers ed. It's like, A bathtub? Um....this one's from @slurpeegirl. Uh-oh.
他们没有在陪练时教你如何躲避掉下来的浴缸，啥？浴缸？这个来自@slurpeegirl，哦哦。
She says, I was making mashed potatoes using an electric mixer.
她说我当时正在用电动搅拌机制作土豆泥，
Little did I realize, I was scraping all of the Teflon off the pan I was mashing in.
我没意识到我把盘子上的聚四氟乙烯都搅进去了。
I told my boyfriend the chewy black bits were pepper. Oh, God. Why am I so sick?
我告诉男友那个有嚼劲的黑色东西是黑胡椒，老天，我为什么病了？
It doesn't taste that spicy. Oh, yeah. You're eating Teflon. This one's from @Juderee.
尝起来不像香料，老天，你在吃特氟龙，这个来自@Juderee。
She says, I was walking on a boardwalk at the beach and got slapped in the face with a huge slice of ham.
她说我在沙滩上的木板人行道行走，被一个巨大块的火腿砸中了脸。
A seagull dropped it. Sure. Sure. Come on, dude. Come on. That's called a ham slap.
是海鸥扔的，当然，当然，来吧，这就叫做火腿打脸。
That's worse than...That's worse than a bird pooping. Yeah, exactly. It's much worse. Maybe it was poop.
这太糟糕了，这比鸟拉屎还糟糕，没错，更糟糕，或许是屎呢。
Giant ham seagull. That's what it sounds like. Last one is from @colbybarrend. He says,
巨大的火腿海鸥，听起来很像，最后一个来自@colbybarrend，他说
I left my ex a drunk voicemail to come over one night, but she never showed up.
我给前女友留了一封喝醉酒的电话留言，让她晚上过来，但她没有来。
Turns out I sent the message to my mom. She did show up. There you go.
结果信息去了我妈那里，我妈来了，好吧。
There you have it. Those are Tonight Show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.
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