Hello everyone and welcome back to Britain under the Microscope advanced.
Hello everyone. So last time we were talking about British funerals.
Yes.
So today we're going to focus on the British attitudes towards death. I don't know if it's going to be another very heavy topic.
Well the thing is that， this topic is， it sounds very heavy, but there are a lot of things that you can learn from it and lot of ideas about culture. So if you think about all the TV shows or films that have funerals and death involved in them, it's important to understand what these truly mean.
Well, like I said earlier in China, it's still very much a taboo topic. People don't really wanna talk about death. Is it the same in British culture that people want to try to avoid the topic of death?
Well, in the past people didn't really like to talk about it so much, but it's becoming more acceptable to talk about death than in the past.
And another thing I always wondered, I was always curious about because in China our cemeteries they're always way out of town. Nobody wants to see cemetery in town center, but it seems like in a lot of the western countries, you do see cemetery plots in town, sometimes in center of town.
Well yes, but to be honest lot of our cemeteries they were laid out in the nineteenth century. So they were just outside of town. It's just a town has grown since then.
Ah and it's also a lot of them are attached to churches. So in China because that is such a taboo topic, so we invented all these euphemisms. Right?You don't talk about someone died, you say all these other words to try to avoid saying the actual word of death. So we have like 去世 we have 离我们而去 even have like 驾鹤西游, all of these euphemisms. You do have those in English as well.
Well absolutely, so many of you probably know the euphemism passed away or passed on. But you can also say that someone is at rest.
Someone is at rest, okay, or rest in peace.
Yeah rest in peace is where it comes from.
Or someone has gone to a better place.
Yeah, or departed, deceased or sometimes with doctors, they might say someone is not going to make it.
Ah so you see in those medical shows when doctors come out and all the relatives were trying to ask, so how is the surgery and the doctor said, I'm sorry but he didn't make it. You wouldn't say he died, just say he didn't make it. OK, so these are euphemisms. And well, but you just said that the British attitude towards death is also changing or has been changing. One thing I did notice is that British humor does contain dark humor, humor about death, and people don't seem to really shy away from all those type of jokes.
That's because a lot of people don't want to treat death as a serious subject. So people tend to use humor and make jokes about it. So as you said, dark comedy or even gallows humor.
Gallows like g a l l o w, isn't gallows the thing that they built to hang people in the past?
Yeah, for example, back in the eighteenth, nineteenth century, criminals would, before they were executed, they would make lots of jokes to show that they weren't scared. They weren't afraid. So that's where the expression comes from. Gallows humor.
OK. I think we do have similar things in China. It's like be for you are executed especially all these heroes in the book that then they're not afraid of death. But that's the general attitude. Right?What about media coverage?Like a real media not just TV shows or movies, but like news media or documentaries. Are there anything about death?
Uh. Yes, there was actually a few years ago, a TV documentary about a woman with a terminal illness and it was called 'before I kick the bucket'.
Kicking the bucket. That's also another euphemism.
Yes, it's a more comical euphemism. You wouldn't use it to someone.
You wouldn't use it respectfully. It's just a joke. Kicking the bucket is usually people talking about themselves that means dying. So they actually essentially filmed someone dying of a terminal illness.
Yeah. Actually she was dying from cancer and they filmed the whole process.
That's very controversial, isn't it?
It is quite controversial, but it was also designed in such a way to show that death wasn't something to be scared of. And this is how people act nowadays. There are more people willing to talk about their final wishes. So how they would like their funeral, for example.
Oh, so I think that's the same in China. Some of the especially older people, I guess especially in the countryside they would actually plan their own funerals.
Yeah.
Talking about bucket, kicking the bucket is like another way of saying die. But bucket, you also have something in English called bucket list means that all the things that you wanna do before you kick the bucket.
Yeah like I said there's lots of books nowadays is 'fifty things to do before you die' or 'fifty countries or fifty places to see' or 'fifty types of food to eat'.
All those kind of books, they are really popular. So I guess it's, but that's more about living, not really about dying, is to live as if you're going to die tomorrow. But that brings us to the next thing - that's about what you do when you are still alive. But what about their final wishes like after they passed on, then for example what happens to their property, what happens to their pet and what happens to their family member?Do people actually write a will? Would they make a will?
Yeah, actually a lot of people still make a will. Uh that's because obviously it's quite complicated if you don't have a will.
There are lots of legal matters especially if you have assets. So you said some people actually writing their will, planning their funerals. Have funerals been changing in the past, let's say twenty thirty years?
I would say a great deal. That's because funerals are becoming more individual and lots of people look at funerals as a celebration of life. Something like a happy funeral.

So it's not so much about the sadness of someone dying or passing away. It's more about people celebrating life.
Yes. People celebrating their life as well. So they become a lot more informal, a lot more personal.
Is that why you hear those comical eulogies? Are people telling jokes about the deceased at that, this person's own funeral?
Yeah. It's not seen as disrespectful because it's seen as a way of celebrating that person's life. And there are also other changes as well. So for example concerns about the environment means that people maybe might plant a memorial tree.
I guess that's also why a lot more people are choosing to be cremated rather than buried because buried obviously you need to take up more space and I guess cremation is more environmentally friendly.
But the idea of a memorial tree is also quite common in the UK. So for example, when you lived in the UK, uh you might have seen lots of memorial benches in parks.
Yeah. I was just going to ask, memorial benches,they look like normal benches to sit on. But then when you look closer you can see people's name, sometimes when they were born and when they passed away and then also sometimes really hard words like, for example I always remember one bench that said, I always enjoyed watching the sunset here with you.
Yeah and people like that sort of idea, so lots of the benches in parks in the UK are actually memorial benches.
To remember loved ones who have passed away. One other thing though, apart from burial and cremation, and nowadays are more people choosing to donate their organs when they pass away for other people to use it for organ transplant?
Yes it's becoming a lot more common in the UK to donate organs after death and it's becoming so common now that from 2020 people in England will automatically be considered organ donors unless they opt out.
Hang on a minute. That sounds like such a radical change. So you're saying from 2020 onwards in the UK everyone would be considered an organ donor unless they sign something to say I don't want to be an organ donor.
Yeah.
Wow. I remember talking about this with some friends in the past. We both thought that is such a controversial option. But you guys actually are doing it.
Lots of countries in the west now are doing this. Obviously the idea is that having a complete body example is not as central to the experience as it might be in other countries. So the idea is that the person is dead,so if that can help another person to live, then that seems a good thing.
Your life and your death would have more meaning.
Yeah.
I guess that's also the different understanding, different cultures and different religions about what life is and what spirit is.
And that's the thing, you can't really truly understand a culture until you know these type of quite taboo subjects; these things that you might be uncomfortable to think about or even ask, but these are also fundamental to what it is, how we consider ourselves and our place in the world.
I would say death is definitely as important a subject as life. But back to the funeral itself last time you did say that people don't really cry that much at a British funeral, partially to do with your entire attitude of this, hiding your feelings we talked about in one of the other episode about stiff upper lip. Is it true that people are not allowed to cry at funerals?
It's not a case of being uh not allowed to cry. Obviously people do cry at a funeral, but people wouldn't make a very big show of crying.
Ah, so it's not going to be, because I think in Chinese culture it's quite the opposite even if you don't feel much, for example if you're very far away from this person. But people still, other people would expect you to cry a little bit or least show a lot of sadness because otherwise it's seen as disrespectful. I guess this is like a major difference in our cultures.
Well, I would say in the UK its set is completely opposite. If you make a very big show of being very sad, being upset, it's seen as quite excessive and also slightly disrespectful.
Oh, it was like over the top, is they exaggerated.
It would be seen as too exaggerated and you're more trying to make to show yourself rather than to show any sort sadness. And so many people do try to hide their grief.
It's very interesting to see the cultural differences because they're just polar opposite. So in the end let's try to end this on a happier note since you're talking about the lightheartedness or the dark humor British people sometimes bring to the subject of death. So I've heard some of the famous last words or epitaphs that are quite funny. Do you have anything to share with us?
Well, I would say one of the most famous is from a very famous British comedian or British Irish comedian called Spike Milligan and on his tombstone he wanted to say, I told you I was ill.
I told you I was ill. So basically now you can see that I'm dead. So I wasn't lying. I told you I was ill, really taking the comedy to the last minute.
And saying about comedy, let's end this with one of the most famous songs in Britain. This is a song called 'always look on the bright side of life'.
Monty Python.
Monty Python. Yeah. And it's always one of those songs that people do actually like for their funerals as well.
Really?
Yeah. So as we finish off, if you have any questions or any comments, please let us know in the comments section.
And other than that, after spending a few episodes talking about such a heavy topic, let's end on a high note. Let's listen to 'always look on the bright side of life'.
So until next time.
We'll see you next time. Bye.

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