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To be criticised is never pleasant.
被人批评从来都不是一件愉快的事。
It is rarely a good day when we have to read an unflattering social media post about ourselves, when we are given harsh feedback on a project or hear that we are being gossiped about by strangers.
当我们不得不在社交媒体上阅读关于自己的不讨喜的帖子时，当我们在一个项目上得到严厉的反馈时，或者听到陌生人在说我们的闲话时，这都不是一个好日子。
However, the question of how much criticism needs to hurt depends on something which has nothing to do with the specific attack we happen to face: how much we happen to like ourselves.
然而，多少的批评才能带来伤害取决于与我们碰巧面临的具体攻击无关的东西：我们碰巧有多喜欢自己。
The degree to which we buckle in the wake of negative comments reflects how we, deep down, feel about ourselves.
在负面评论之后我们屈服的程度反映了我们内心深处对自己的感觉。
When we carry within us a sufficient ballast of love, criticism need never be very much more than niggling.
当我们心中带着足够的爱的压舱物时，批评就再也不需要太多的牢骚了。
We can overcome it by dinner time - or at least the end of the week.
我们可以在晚餐时间-或者至少在周末-克服它。
We can take on board with relative good humour that we are not necessarily loved by everyone, that not everything we do is perfect
我们可以以相对良好的心态接受我们不一定被所有人喜爱，我们不是每件事都做得完美，
and that there may be one or two outright enemies, who would prefer us dead - even while most people tolerate us easily enough.
可能会有一两个彻底的敌人，他们宁愿我们死——即使大多数人很容易容忍我们。
There need be nothing surprising or terrifying in being doubted by a few others.
被几个人怀疑，没有什么值得惊讶或害怕的。
But for the more vulnerable ones among us, there is no option but to experience criticism as an assault on our very right to exist.
但对于我们当中更脆弱的人来说，别无选择，只能将批评视为对我们生存权的攻击。
We don’t hear that we are being mildly upbraided for an aspect of our work; we at once feel that we are being told to disappear.
我们听到没有人因为我们工作的某一方面而温和地责备我们；我们立刻感觉到有人叫我们消失。
It isn’t just one or two people who are mocking us, the whole world is apparently thinking only of how ridiculous we are.
不只是一两个人在嘲笑我们，显然整个世界都在想我们有多可笑。
We will never get past this moment of negative assessment; the hatred will never end.
我们永远都无法度过这个负面评价的时刻; 仇恨永远不会结束。
It’s a catastrophe.
这是一场灾难。
If criticism from outside proves devastating, it is because it so readily joins forces with an infinitely more strident and more aggressive form of criticism that has long existed inside of us.
如果来自外部的批评被证明是毁灭性的，那是因为它如此容易地与我们内心长期存在的一种更刺耳，更具攻击性的批评形式结合在一起。
We are already struggling so hard to tolerate ourselves against inner voices that confidently assert how undeserving, ugly and devious we are, that there is no room left for us to take on further reminders of our awfulness.
我们已经在如此努力地忍受自己面对内心的声音，这些声音自信地断言我们是多么不配、多么丑陋和多么狡猾，以至于没有空间让我们进一步提醒自己是多么可怕。
The key of present criticism has inserted itself into a lock of historic hatred - and let loose an unmasterable surge of self-loathing.
当前批评的钥匙已经把自己插进了历史仇恨的锁中-并释放了一股难以控制的自我厌恶情绪。
When we are suffering, we should remember that we aren’t exceptionally weak; we almost certainly had a far worse childhood than the average person.
当我们受苦时，我们应该记住，我们并不是特别软弱；我们的童年肯定比普通人要糟糕得多。
Once upon a time, we were probably humiliated and shamed without being soothed, held or reassured, and this is why we now take current criticism so much to heart.
曾几何时，我们可能感到羞辱，没有得到安慰，没有得到安抚，这就是为什么我们现在把现有的批评放在心上。
We don’t know how to defend ourselves against our enemies because we have never been deeply appreciated.
我们不知道如何保护自己不受敌人的伤害，因为我们从未被深深赏识过。
We already hate ourselves so much more than our worst enemies ever will.
我们已经比我们最大的敌人更恨自己了。
A part of us is responding to adult challenges with the vulnerability of a child who faced disdain on a scale they couldn’t master.
我们一部分人正在以一种孩子的脆弱来应对成人的挑战，他们面对的鄙视程度达到了他们无法驾驭的程度。
The present challenge feels like a catastrophe because catastrophe is precisely what was once endured.
目前的挑战感觉像是一场灾难，因为灾难正是曾经经历过的。
We may not easily be able to stop feeling unhappy about criticism, but at least we can change what we feel unhappy about.
我们可能无法轻易地停止对批评的不满，但至少我们可以改变我们感到不高兴的事情。
Our vulnerability need not be - as we initially, instinctively think - a sign that we are actively awful.
我们的脆弱并不像我们最初本能地认为的那样，是我们非常糟糕的标志。
It is evidence that we were, long ago, denied the sort of love that we would have needed in order to remain more steadily and generously on our own side at moments of difficulty.
这证明，我们很久以前就拒绝了那种我们在困难时刻为了更稳定、更慷慨地站在自己一边所需要的爱。
