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My one job was to deprogram the public from the bird lie.
我的一部分工作就是让公众不再受到鸟类骗局的荼毒。
And deprogram is a very specific word because you all are programmed.
我说“荼毒”这么精准的词语，是因为你们都被操纵了。
You know that, right?
你们都知道的吧？
We live in a pro-bird civilization drenched in propaganda.
我们活在一个宣传铺天盖地的尊鸟文明里。
For instance, every state has a state bird, the national mascot is a bald eagle, presidents don't talk, they tweet, then the tweets are covered on the bird-logo media.
比如，每个州都有州鸟，美国的象征是白头海雕，总统不说话，而是“发推”（意为“唧啾”），然后推文在把鸟当 logo 的平台上传播。
Once I knew this, my first order of business was to get the information out to the American people, get off the internet into the real world.
我一知道这一点，我的第一要务就变成了把这些信息告诉全美人民，走出互联网，走进现实世界。
So that's what I did.
于是我就做了这些事。
I bought a van, covered it in decals with facts.
我买了辆面包车，贴满了写着事实的贴纸。
I wanted to turn the highway into an information highway, awaken the people.
我想把高速公路变成信息的高速公路，唤醒人们。
I went city to city, holding rallies, meeting up with our thousands of supporters, growing by the day.
我走遍城市，组织集会，与成千上万、与日俱增的支持者会面。
And I was putting up billboards wherever we went, sharing our simple but powerful message.
走到哪里，都会贴上告示板，分享我们简短有力的信息。
Look how beautiful it is.
多美啊。
Now, the government, the government did take note of what we were doing and they sent some intimidators to try and deter us from our mission.
政府，政府确实注意到了我们的所作所为，派了“恐吓者”试图让我们收手。
You can see them right there.
就是这波恐吓者。
But we did not fold.
但我们没有退缩。
We kept on going.
我们继续前行。
We started holding rallies at some of the most evil pro-bird corporations in the world, starting with Twitter, where we brought hundreds out to protest their pro-bird logo.
我们在各国一些最邪恶的尊鸟企业组织了集会，就从推特开始，派了几百人反对他们的尊鸟 logo。
Months later, we brought 500 people out to CNN headquarters to demand fairer coverage for bird truthers on air.
几个月后，我们派了 500 人冲去 CNN 总部，要求更多地报道鸟类阴谋。
Then just last year, we brought 2,000 people out to Washington Square in New York City to demand that the mayor shut down every pigeon in the city.
就在去年，我们带着 2000 人冲去了纽约的华盛顿广场，要求市长关掉市里的每一只鸽子。
Here's what that looked like.
是这样的场景。
Birds aren't real! Birds aren't real! Birds aren't real! Birds aren't real!
鸟不是真的！鸟不是真的！鸟不是真的！鸟不是真的！
Can't even tell you how that felt.
我的心情难以言表。
I took that video standing on the top of the van, megaphone in hand, knowing we were awakening a country that needs it so badly.
我站在面包车顶上拍下了这段视频，拿着扩音器，心里清楚我们正在唤醒一个亟待被唤醒的国家。
I can't think of anything more beautiful.
我想象不到比此更美妙的事了。
OK, let me start this talk over.
好的，我们从头开始讲一遍。
I do not actually believe that birds are robots.
我不是真的相信鸟是机器人。
And everyone else in this picture is also in on the bit.
图上的人也差不多是这样。
This is a character that I played for four years.
这是我四年以来扮演的角色。
The leader of a fake movement with fake evidence and a fake history.
一个有着虚假依据、虚假历史的虚假运动的领导人。
Our goal was to convince the public that our satirical movement was a real one.
我们的目标是说服公众我们的讽刺性运动是真的。
And see if the media would believe what we were saying.
看看媒体是否会相信我们说的话。
To do this, I played this character that I just showed you.
为此，我扮演了刚才我展示给你们看的角色。
We held rallies, put up billboards.
我们组织集会、张贴告示板。
We even sent the media a lot of fake evidence.
我们还给媒体发送了很多虚假证据。
We hired an old actor to pose as an ex-CIA agent confessing to his crimes.
我们请了一位老演员，扮演前 CIA 特工，坦白自己的罪行。
We sent them a historic email leak called "Poultry Gate" that came out of the Pentagon, where we forged hundreds of fake emails exposing elites and government officials in the bird drone surveillance plot.
我们给媒体安排了一场重大的邮件泄露事件，称为“鸟门”，从五角大楼传出（恶搞“水门事件”），我们伪造了上百封虚假邮件，曝光上层人士和政府官员参与鸟类无人机监控阴谋。
It didn't take much to convince the media.
说服媒体没花多少工夫。
After just one summer holding rallies like this, it became nationally syndicated news on tons of local news stations that we were a real movement that had been around for 50 years.
花了一个夏天组织这样的集会之后，全国都报道了这个新闻，无数本地新闻电视台都报道我们是一场有着 50 年历史的真实运动。
And there was a resurgence happening where it was coming back and there was a radical new leader, myself, bringing the movement back as the rise of conspiracy theories swept the nation.
这是一场卷土重来的复兴，有一位激进的新领袖，就是我，重燃了这项运动，不能再坐视阴谋论席卷全国。
