评论
打印
“I’m sorry.” Those two little words can help patch things up after a fight with your significant other. But what your partner may prefer is for you to give up some power. So finds a study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
“对不起”，可以在夫妻吵架后化解矛盾。但是你的伴侣可能更希望你不要太强势。社会与临床心理学杂志上的一项研究发现了这个结论。
Researchers looking through the literature say that all couples’ arguments boiled down to one of two issues: Perceived threat, where one person thinks their status is threatened by a critical partner, or perceived neglect, where one person feels their partner is either disloyal or inattentive.
研究人员通过查阅文献表示，所有夫妻之间的争吵归根结底是两个问题之一：第一个是“感知威胁”，一个人觉得他们的状态被挑剔的另一半所威胁，或者另一个问题是“感知忽视”，一个人觉得他的另一半不忠诚或者对他有所疏忽。
For this latest study, researchers asked more than 400 married couples to list how they’d want to resolve a conflict. And the most desired resolution involved a relinquishing of power – either as a compromise, an admission of fault, a show of respect, or conceding more independence to the other partner. Other desired conflict resolutions included: investing in the relationship; halting adversarial behavior; more communication; more affection; and only last, was apologizing.
在这个最新的研究中，研究人员询问了超过400对夫妇列出他们想解决冲突的方法。最想要的解决方法是不那么强势--许一个承诺，承认错误，表示尊重或者承认另一半的独立。另外更想要的解决方法是投入更多精力维护关系，停止敌对行为，加强交流，表现更多爱意，最后才是道歉。
Of course, the underlying complaint can determine the correct response. Flowers might be a good response to feelings of “perceived neglect.” But if the problem is “perceived threat,” well, roses might be construed as a delivery system for thorns.
当然，潜在的抱怨可以决定正确的回应。应对“感知忽视”最好的回应是送花，但是如果问题是“感知威胁”，那么送玫瑰花儿可能被理解为故意找刺。
—Christie NIcholson
