下面举一篇我南京六级班上一位同学写的优秀作文(14分)的例子,看看他是如何运用各类写作技巧的。这位同学把老师上课讲的各类写作手法和精彩替换和句型都用上了,作文有了很大的提高。
Computer and I By Simmy
I never forget the exceedingly thrilling day when my mother bought me a computer as birthday present, which exerted a tremendous fascination on me so that i indulged myself in googling an army of useful information i had expected ,and enjoy a sea of melodious classic music. That night I was sleepless, feeling that the whole world belonged to me.
exceedingly 替换 very
thrilling 替换 exciting
sth. exert a tremendous fascination on sb 替换 sb. be interested in sth.
google 替换 search
an army of 替换 a lot of
The dawn of the new century witnessed the increasing popularity of computers. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, computers pouring into the current society as a fashion are appealing to growing individuals. It is no exaggeration to say we have been submerged by them, in large measure!
The dawn of the new century witnessed 是一个精彩句型,用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情;
Increasing popularity 替换 more and more popular
Coincident with … 非常地道的词汇,表达"与…一致"的意思,替换 With …
Advancement 替换 development
Pour into ( flood into / swarm into )替换 enter into
Current ( currently )替换 now
Appeal to sb. 替换 sb. be interested in sth.
Growing individuals 替换 more and more people
It is no exaggeration to say 经典句型,说某事是毫不夸张的
For a start, we can, freely, search desired information at any moment . Little by little, our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. Additionally, we can get huge recreations online by chatting, playing games, or delivering email.
For a start 替换 To begin with
We can, freely, search 用了插入语的写作手法
our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. 用了非常精彩的被动