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I stood still and took a deep breath. Now was the time, when we were soaked and safe and confronted with radiance. Now something had to be said.
我静静地站着，深深地吸了口气，现在是我们饮酒庆祝安全并且面对光明的时候了。现在得说点什么了。
There's something I didn't mention to you.
“有些事我没跟你提起过。”
His voice surprised me, like the sun. But in the opposite way. It had a weight to it, a warning—determination edged with apology.
他的声音让我有些惊讶，就像太阳的出现。相反，他的声音有些沉重——带有一种警告以及道歉的决心。
About our youngest boy, he said. "Our youngest boy was killed last summer."
“是关于我们最小的儿子，”他说，“我们的小儿子在去年夏天夭折了。”
Oh.
哦。
He was run over, he said. "I was the one who ran over him. Backing out of our driveway."
“他是被车轧死的，”他说，“我就是那个开车轧死他的人。从汽车道里把车倒出去。”
I stopped again. He stopped with me. Both of us stared ahead.
我又停了下来。他同我一起停下来。我们两个都凝视着前方。
His name was Brian. He was three. The thing was, I thought he was upstairs in bed. The others were still up, but he'd been put to bed. Then he'd got up again. I should have looked, though. I should have looked more carefully.
“他的名字叫布莱恩，3岁。事实上，我当时以为他还在楼上睡觉。其他人都还没睡。但他是被抱上床的，后来他又起来了。可我当时本该看一看的。我本应更小心点。”
I thought of the moment when he got out of the car. The noise he must have made. The moment when the child's mother came running out of the house.
我想象着他从车里出来时一定发出的哀号，当孩子母亲从房子里跑出来的那一刻。
He started walking again, entering the parkig lot. I walked a little behind him. And I did not say anything—not one kind, common, helpless word. We had passed right by that.
他又开始走，进了停车场。我在他后面跟着，没有说一句话——没有一个温和、普通、绝望的字眼。此时我们心心相通。
He didn't say, It was my fault and I'll never get over it. I'll never forgive myself. But I do as well as I can. Or, My wife forgives me, but she'll never get over it, either.
他没有说，是我的错，我永远不会从那件事中恢复过来。我决不会原谅自己。但我已经尽我所能。他也没有说，我的妻子原谅了我，但她永远不会从那件事中恢复过来。
I knew all that. I knew now that he was a person who had hit rock bottom. A person who knew—as I did not know, did not come near knowing—exactly what rock bottom was. He and his wife knew that together and it bound them, as something like that would either break you apart or bind you, for life. Not that they would live at rock bottom. But they would share a knowledge of it—that cool, empty, locked and central space.
我知道了所有的一切。我现在知道，他是世上最不幸的人。一个知道了——而我却不知道，也不会了解——不幸之所在的人。他和妻子共同体验了这一切，这把他们绑在了一起，就像有些事在生活中要么把你们拆散，要么使你们终生在一起。并不是他们共同经历着不幸，而是他们对此有着共同的感受——那种凄凉、失落、封闭的中心世界。
