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2014年6月7日雅思写作真题解析附范文

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原创范文:警察是否应该配枪上街

  首段:背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场

  Alarmingly, the rate of manifold perpetrations keeps on soaring,which not onlyafflicts the sufferersbut also jeopardizes the security of the community.Therefore, it is not rare to see thatmany police officers carry gunwhenfulfilling the tasks.People have been debating whether or not policeman is supposed to carry guns to patrol the street.Personally, it is preferable and viable to allow theguard of the peopleto carry gunsalthoughsome potential problems should be stressed.

  新东方薛鹏翻译:令人担忧的是,各类犯罪不断上升,不仅仅使受害者痛苦,也威胁到社会的安定。因此,警察在执行任务的时候配枪十分常见。人们一直在在争议警察在上街巡逻的时候是否应该配枪。我认为,人民卫士配枪上街是可取可行的,经管其弊端应该被强调。

  新东方薛鹏点评:文风有朴素之美,也有华丽之美,小鹏哥范文写作即为才艺展示。文章首句即为亮剑,用到很多8级词汇,接下来的文风保持一致,该范文适合赏析,不适合考生仿写。

  新东方薛鹏词汇点评:(将阅读词汇运用为积极的写作词汇)

  manifold adj 多种形式的;

  soar v 激增;

  afflicts v 使痛苦;

  jeopardize v 危害到……

  guard of the people 人民卫士

  二段:让步段:警察配枪上街的潜在弊端(二点让步)

  Granted, permitting the police officer to take guns might,to some extent, arouse some felons’ impulse of conducting some anti-social offences,especiallyfor those hardened violators.More precisely, some gangsters never fail to curse and resent the societywhichthey think unfair. The impulse of taking revenge on the society might be stimulatedwhenthey see all the cops are equipped with guns.Also, withouta strict legislation of the possible abuse of gun, weapons might hurt the man in the street accidently.

  新东方薛鹏翻译:的确,准许警官配枪某种程度上可能诱发重刑犯的犯罪冲动,他们容易做出反社会行为,尤其对于一些惯犯而言。具体来说,很多帮派分子历来诅咒和憎恨他们认为不公平的社会,警官配枪上街可能刺激他们报复社会的冲动。另外,缺乏对可能的枪支滥用的立法规范,武器的使用可能意外伤及大众百姓。

  新东方薛鹏点评:雅思写作中考官不喜欢看到太多的套语,认为这是背诵和抄袭的能力,因此,小鹏哥行文淡化路标词汇。

  新东方薛鹏词汇点评:

  to some extent adv 某种程度上,插入语的使用让文章显得活泼。

  conducting some anti-social offences v 做出反社会行为(犯罪的升级写法);我不相信考官会喜欢 break the law 或者 commit crime 这样的白开水表达。

  taking revenge on ……报复 …… (6级词汇)

  the man in the street n 百姓(来着1998年朱镕基总理的政府工作报告英文版)

  三段:反驳段:警察配枪的利好(三点展开)

  Nevertheless, the merits ofencouraging policemen to carry gun when they are on dutyfar outweighits possible downsides. First, it will have a deterrent role to play in preventing and stopping potential violators from recommitting new crimes.In other words, many malefactors may look before they leap when seeing all the policemen are equipped with guns.Also, guns are,indeed, reliable helpers of the police officers. When the police force encounter some unexpected emergency,it isthe gunthatrescue them from harm.Last, during the organized riot, police officers with guns could effectively put an end to the chaosso thatthe public security can be ensured and a more stable society can be maintained.

  新东方薛鹏翻译:然而,鼓励警察配枪执行任务利大于弊。第一,这可以预防或者阻止潜在的犯罪行为。换言之,当看到警官们全副武装的时候,很多潜在的犯罪分子会三思后行。第二,枪支的确是警官们的好助手,当警官们遇到意外的紧急情况时,枪支可以保护他们。第三,在有组织的暴乱期间,全副武装的警官可以有效地终结混乱,因此,公众安全得以保障,社会稳定得以维持。

  新东方薛鹏点评:反驳段要三点反驳。雅思写作的思路拓展一定要平时积累,我喜欢看今日说法或者天网栏目。我有每日阅读新浪和凤凰的习惯。打击犯罪的话题是在中国新疆反恐;重庆打黑;个别警官滥用枪支等大背景下考察的,这也是紧扣时代脉搏。

  新东方薛鹏词汇点评: so that 引导结果从句;can be ensured 使用被动表达,是否有些雅思阅读的感觉。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
stabilize ['steibilaiz]

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v. 使安定,使坚固

 
reliable [ri'laiəbl]

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adj. 可靠的,可信的

 
rare [rɛə]

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adj. 稀罕的,稀薄的,罕见的,珍贵的
ad

 
harmonious [hɑ:'məuniəs]

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adj. 和睦的,和谐的,音调优美的

联想记忆
encounter [in'kauntə]

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n. 意外的相见,遭遇
v. 遇到,偶然碰到,

 
viable ['vaiəbl]

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adj. 能居住的的,能生存的,可行的

联想记忆
revenge [ri'vendʒ]

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n. 报仇,报复,复仇愿望,获得满足的机会
v

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overall [əuvə'rɔ:l]

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adj. 全部的,全体的,一切在内的
adv.

 
violence ['vaiələns]

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n. 暴力,猛烈,强暴,暴行

 
legislation [.ledʒis'leiʃən]

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n. 立法,法律

联想记忆

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