Luck

好运气

Mark Twain

马克·吐温

I was at a dinner in London given in honor of one of the most celebrated English military men of his time. I do not want to tell you his real name and titles. I will just call him Lieutenant General Lord Arthur Scoresby. I cannot describe my excitement when I saw this great and famous man. There he sat, the man himself, in person, all covered with medals. I could not take my eyes off him. He seemed to show the true mark of greatness. His fame had no effect on him. The hundreds of eyes watching him, the worship of so many people did not seem to make any difference to him.

事情发生在伦敦的一次宴会上。这次宴会是为当代英国威名显赫的两三位军事将领之一举行的。由于下面即将说明的原因，我将不提他的真实姓名和各种头衔。我将称他为陆军中将阿瑟·斯考兹比勋爵、皇家护卫骑士、巴斯爵士，等等，等等，等等。鼎鼎大名的人物具有多大的魅力130年前他在克里米亚战役中崭露头角，名声大噪，历久不衰。从那时以后我曾无数次听见人们谈到他，而此刻他本人就坐在那儿。我盯着这位半神半人似的人物，看呀，看呀，看呀，好像这就是我的美酒佳肴。我注视着他，搜寻他的一切特点并默记在心：他的面部表情安详、矜持、高贵、严肃；他的气质中具有朴素、诚实的品格，这是一眼就看得出的；他对自己的丰功伟绩虽然踌躇满志，但却不露声色——好像不知道成百双充满崇敬之情的眼睛正注视着他；好像不知道出自人们内心的一股深厚的爱慕之情，一种真诚的崇拜，正朝他涌来。

Next to me sat a clergyman, who was an old friend of mine. He was not always a clergyman. During the first half of his life he was a teacher in the military school at Woolwich. There was a strange look in his eye as he leaned toward me and whispered – "Privately – he is a complete fool." He meant, of course, the hero of our dinner.

坐在我左边的牧师是我的老相识。他现在是牧师，可前半辈子却是在戎马生涯中度过的，而且还当过伍立奇军事学校的教官。就在我刚谈到的这个时刻，他眼中隐隐约约闪现出一种十分离奇的目光，一边用手势指着宴会上的那位英雄，一边俯过头来轻轻地，但却是满有把握地对我说：“私下说说一他是个头号大傻瓜。”

This came as a shock to me. I looked hard at him. I could not have been more surprised if he has said the same thing about Nepoleon, or Socrates, or Solomon. But I was sure of two things about the clergyman. He always spoke the truth. And, his judgment of men was good. Therefore, I wanted to find out more about our hero as soon as I could.

这个评语使我大吃一惊。如果他说的是拿破仑、苏格拉底或是所罗门，我也不会感到更惊奇了。有两点我是清楚的：这位牧师说话句句真实可靠；而且他很有知人之明。因此我断定，毫无疑问，世人是错看了这位英雄：他的确是个傻瓜。于是我就想在方便的时候向这位孤身独处的牧师问清楚，他是怎样发现这个秘密的。

Some days later I got a chance to talk with the clergyman, and he told me more. These are his exact words:

过了些日子，机会来到了，下面就是这位牧师告诉我的话：

About forty years ago, I was an instructor in the military academy at Woolwich, when young Scoresby was given his first examination. I felt extremely sorry for him. Everybody answered the questions well, intelligently, while he – why, dear me – he did not know anything, so to speak. He was a nice, pleasant young man. It was painful to see him stand there and give answers that were miracles of stupidity.I knew of course that when examined again he would fail and be thrown out. So, I said to myself, it would be a simple, harmless act to help him as much as I could. I took him aside and found he knew a little about Julius Ceasar's history. But, he did not know anything else. So, I went to work and tested him and worked him like a slave. I made him work, over and over again, on a few questions about Ceasar, which I knew he would be asked.If you will believe me, he came through very well on the day of the examination. He got high praise too, while others who knew a thousand times more than he were sharply criticized. By some strange, lucky accident, he was asked no questions but those I made him study. Such an accident does not happen more than once in a hundred years. Well, all through his studies, I stood by him, with the feeling a mother has for a disabled child. And he always saved himself by some miracle.

大约40年前，我在伍立奇军事学校当教官。年轻的斯考兹比参加初试时，我在他那个小组。班上别的学员回答问题都很漂亮，而他一一唉，天啊，他可说是一无所知，我的怜悯之心不禁为之大动。谁都看得出他是个好孩子，可亲可爱，又很天真；此刻他站在那儿，呆若木鸡，回答问题时的愚昧无知真是荒谬绝伦，叫人看了十分痛心。我的怜悯心都被他激发起来了。我暗自思忖，复试时他肯定是要被刷掉的；既然如此，尽我所能来减轻他摔下来的痛苦，也就只不过是一种无害的慈悲举动而已。我把他叫到一旁，发现他还知道一点儿恺撒大帝的历史，既然他别的什么也不知道，于是我就辅导他，逼他像奴隶船上的奴隶一样拼命准备有关恺撒大帝的一些老生常谈的问题，而我知道这些问题是会考到的。信不信由你，考试那天他居然名列前茅！就凭这点儿纯释是表面功夫的“死记硬背”他过了关，而且还受到赞扬；而别人呢，虽然比他强一千倍，却被淘汰了。由于某种奇妙幸运的机遇一—这种机遇—百年也难碰到第二次，除了他准备的狭窄范围之外，没其妙。这么说吧，自始至终我都守护着他，我对他的感情就像一位母亲对待自己的瘸腿小孩一样；但他却总是能从困境中自己解脱出来——明摆着全是凭奇迹。

I thought that what in the end would destroy him would be the mathematics examination. I decided to make his end as painless as possible. So, I pushed facts into his stupid head for hours. Finally, I let him go to the examination to experience what I was sure would be his dismissal from school. Well, sir, try to imagine the result. I was shocked out of my mind. He took first prize! And he got the highest praise.

当然啰，到头来揭穿他、要他命的还是数学。我打定主意尽量叫他死得痛快点儿；于是我选定了考官最可能出的题目的路子对他反反复复进行填鸭式的硬灌，然后让他听天由命。您想想那结果吧：叫我大吃一惊，他居然荣获头奖！全场向他热烈鼓掌祝贺。

I felt guilty day and night – what I was doing was not right. But I only wanted to make his dismissal a little less painful for him. I never dreamed it would lead to such strange, laughable results. I thought that sooner or later one thing was sure to happen: The first real test once he was through school would ruin him.

睡觉？一个星期我都睡不着。我日日夜夜受着良心的折磨。我做的这一切纯粹是出于恻隐之心，只是为了让这可怜的小伙子别摔得太惨。我做梦也没有想到，事情的结果竟是如此之荒唐透顶。我感到像弗兰肯斯坦一样有罪，难过。我让一个呆瓜可能有机会青云直上，荣膺重任；而结局只能是：时机一到，他和他的事业前程都会一块儿完蛋。

Then, the Crimean War broke out. I felt that sad for him that there had to be a war. Peace would have given this donkey a chance to escape from ever being found out as being so stupid. Nervously, I waited for the worst to happen. It did. He was appointed an officer. A captain, of all things! Who could have dreamed that they would place such a responsibility on such weak shoulders as his.

克里米亚战争这时刚刚爆发。我暗中想，当然得有一场战争。要是在和平时期，就没有机会叫这头蠢驴在死之前不露出本相。我等着火山爆发。火山果然爆发了。可是火山爆发时却惊得我目瞪口呆。官方公报上发表他为作战团队的一名上尉！比他强的人服役到老，头发都灰白了，才能爬到这样高的位置谁又预料得到他们竟会把责任如此重大的一副担子放在这样稚嫩而不堪胜任的肩膀上？要是他们叫他当一名扛大旗的军士，我还勉强受得了；可是叫他当上尉一想想看！这真把我吓了个半死。

I said to myself that I was responsible to the country for this. I must go with him and protect the nation against him as far as I could. So, I joined up with him. And anyway we went to the field.

我是个爱好安逸、不好活动的人，可是想想看我干了件什么事。我自思自想，这件事我要对国家负责，我一定得跟他一起去尽我所能保护国家不受他的祸害。于是我拿出历年辛辛苦苦工作、点点滴滴节省下来的一点积蓄，叹了口气，跑到他那个团队买了个扛大旗的差使，跟部队一起开赴战场。

And there – oh dear, it was terrible. Mistakes, fearful mistakes – why, he never did anything that was right – nothing but mistakes. But, you see, nobody knew the secret of how stupid he really was. Everybody misunderstood his actions. They saw his stupid mistakes as works of great intelligence. They did, honestly! His smallest mistakes made a man in his right mind cry, and shout and scream too – to himself, of course. And what kept me in a continual fear was the fact that every mistake he made increased his glory and fame. I kept saying to myself that when at last they found out about him, it will be like the sun falling out of the sky.

哎哟哟，真可怕。犯错误？——他可只会犯错误，别的什么也干不出来。但是你得明白，这家伙的秘密谁也没窥破过。大伙儿都错看了他，并且对他的所作所为每次都必然做出错误的解释。结果是，他们把这个白痴所犯的大错竟然当成是天才的杰作。我一点也不瞎说，他们就是这样胡搞的！他最微小的错误也足够叫一个头脑清醒的人大喊起来；这些错误的确叫我大喊起来——这叫我私下里大发雷霆、破口大骂。老是使我直冒冷汗的是，每次他犯下一个新的错误，他的英名就愈加大放异彩！我不断地对自己说，他这样青云直上，、有朝一日真相揭穿的时候，那会像太阳从天上掉下来。

He continued to climb up, over the dead bodies of his superiors. Then, in the hottest moment of one battle down went our colonel. My heart jumped into my mouth, for Scoresby was the next in line to take his place. Now, we are in for it, I said…

他的上级不断阵亡，他也就踏着他们的尸体步步高升。最后，在某战役最炽烈的时刻，我们的上校也牺牲了。我吓得心都快从口里跳出来了，因为斯考兹比是第二名军衔最高的军官！瞧吧，我说，不到十分钟咱们全都得到地狱里报到，没错。

The battle grew hotter. The English and their allies were steadily retreating all over the field. Our regiment occupied a position that was extremely important. One mistake now would bring total disaster. And what did Scoresby do this time – he just mistook his left hand for his right hand…that was all. An order came for him to fall back and support our right. Instead, he moved forward and went over the hill to the left. We were over the hill before this insane movement could be discovered and stopped. And what did we find? A large and unsuspected Russian army waiting! And what happened – were we all killed? That is exactly what would have happened in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But no – those surprised Russians thought that no one regiment by itself would come around there at such a time.

战斗打得异常激烈，联军在整个战场上节节败退。我们团队所踞的阵地十分重要；此刻出错必会招致全军覆没。在这一发千钧之际，，这个头号大傻瓜是怎样指挥的呢？他把团队从阵地撤出，下令向邻近的一座小山包发起冲锋，而那里连一个敌兵的影子也没有！“一错再错！”我自言自语地说，“这下子到底是全完蛋啦。”我们一个劲儿往前冲，敌人还来不及发现和制止我们的疯狂行动，我们就已经冲上了山脊。我们看到了什么呢？谁也想不到竟是俄军整整一个军的后备队！结果如何呢？是不是把我们吃掉了呢？百分之九十九的情况下，那必然是我们的下场。但是，不，那些俄国人推测：在这种时刻，单单一个团队是决不会像羊群放牧似的在这儿出现的。

It must be the whole British army, they thought. They turned tail, away they went over the hill and down into the field in wild disorder, and we after them. In no time, there was the greatest turn around you ever saw. The allies turned defeat into a sweeping and shining victory.

必定是英军全军出击，必定是俄军的诡计已被识破而不能得逞；因此他们就掉头乱跑，从山上跑到山下，混乱不堪，我们则尾追不舍；他们自己破坏了俄军坚强的中央阵地，撕开了一个缺口，于是俄军立即全线大溃败，那情形真是少见，结果联军反败为胜，获得了伟大、辉煌的胜利！坎罗伯特元帅看到这一切，又惊又喜，赞叹不已，立即召见斯考兹比，拥抱他，在战场上当着全军的面给他授勋！

The allied commander looked on, his head spinning with wonder, surprise and joy. He sent right off for Scoresby, and put his arms around him and hugged him on the field in front of all the armies. Scoresby became famous that day as a great military leader – honored throughout the world. That honor will never disappear while history books last.

那一次斯考兹比犯的是什么错误？只不过是把右手当成了左手——如此而已。命令叫他往后靠，支援我方右翼；而他呢，他却往前靠，越过小山包向左方运动。但是那一天，他却一举成名，成了一位神奇的天才军事家，誉满全球。只要世上还有历史书存在，这种荣誉就永放光芒。

He is just as nice and pleasant as ever, but he still does not know enough to come in out of the rain. He is the stupidest man in the universe. Until now, nobody knew it but Scoresby and myself. He has been followed, day by day, year by year, by a strange luck. He has been a shining soldier in all our wars for years. He has filled his whole military life with mistakes. Every one of them brought him another honorary title. Look at his chest, flooded with British and foreign medals. Well, sir, every one of them is the record of some great stupidity or other. They are proof that the best thing that can happen to a man is to be born lucky. I say again, as I did at the dinner, Scoresby's a complete fool.

他是一位非常和蔼可亲、平易近人的好人，但他就是不知道下雨了应当进屋躲躲。这话一点不假。他是宇宙间夭字第一号的蠢驴；半个钟头以前除了他自己和我之外还没有旁人知道内情。日复一日，年复一年，他交的全是好运，一种极不寻常的、令人惊叹不已的好运。在一代人的时期内，他参加过我们的历次战争，战功彪炳；他在戎马生涯中始终不断犯错误，然而这些错误总是使他荣膺爵士、从男爵、勋爵或是别的什么称号。瞧他的胸脯儿，嘿，密密麻麻挂满了本国和外国的勋章。你瞧，每枚勋章都是某件荒唐透顶的蠢事的记录，这些勋章加在一起就证明：人生在世所能碰到的最最好的事就是一出娘胎就交上好运气。我在宴会上说过，我现在再说一遍，斯考兹比是个头号大傻瓜。