你想有没有觉得自己在与别人交流时自认为观点十分清晰，然而还是他人还是会误解，获取错误的信息，或者完全不知道你的观点呢？
Have you ever thought you were being utterly clear in your communication with someone - and yet somehow they still managed to misunderstand, get the wrong message or completely miss your point?

或者你不遗余力的与人为善，可他们却毫不领情，不去感激你呢？
Or have you ever gone out of your way to do something nice for someone but they just didn't seem that appreciative or thankful?

可能造成这些的原因是什么呢？你只是没有用适合的语言表达！
The likely cause? You're just not speaking the same language!

我在用什么语言与他人交流呢？加里查普曼把它们称为“五种爱的语言”，它们对于人际关系是至关重要的。这些语言十分简单，这五种不同的语言是：珍惜、肯定的语句、礼物、服务、肢体接触。
What languages am I talking about? Gary Chapman calls them the "Five Languages of Love", and while these are indeed important to your personal relationship, these languages simply put, the five different languages are:
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
珍惜：如果你的朋友或亲戚真的在意你，他们就不会因为声称太忙、怕打扰你或为你制造麻烦而不来拜访你。
When your language is Quality Time: A friend or relative not being able to stop by and see you because they say they're too busy, upsets you and makes you question whether they really do care for you.

肯定的语句：你老板对于你工作的表扬、鼓励或激励的语句比任何事物都更能让你对自己的工作感到满意；这与你想要获得升职或其他事物是不同的（虽然升职是不错的）。
When your language is Words of Affirmation: All you need to feel more appreciated at work are a few words of praise, encouragement or motivation from your boss; it's not like you're looking for a raise or anything (although that would be nice).

礼物：你坚信出席社交聚会，赠送礼物来表达你的感谢是十分重要的；如果他人参加你举行的聚会却不回礼，你会觉得有一点点不礼貌。
When your language is Gifts: You believe it's important to send a gift to show your thanks for attending a function; and when others don't reciprocate having attended one of yours, you feel it's a little rude.

服务：你希望你的搭档能多帮助你一点——即使只是不时的给你一杯茶，因为这表示他们关心你。这与你要求他们打扫这个房子或做其他事是不同的。
When your language is Acts of Service: You wish your partner would help out a little more - even by just making you a cup of tea every now and then, because it just means they care. It's not like you're asking them to clean the whole house or anything.

肢体接触：你热情地拥抱他人，频繁的触碰他们的手臂或膝盖让他们感受你的支持，但是如果他们的拥抱不像你的那样热烈则表示他们不像你在意他们一样在意你。
When your language is Physical Touch: You give big hugs, frequently touch people on the arm and knee to show your support but wonder if maybe they don't care for you as much as you do for them, if their hug isn't as tight as yours.

你要如何利用这些方法来成为一个不错的交流者并与周围的人更紧密的联系呢？
How you can apply this to become a better communicator and connect more deeply with those around you...

找出你最喜欢的语言——如果对你而言让你生命中最关键的人更好的理解你是十分重要的，要告诉他们。
Identify your preferred language - and if it's really important to you that the key people in your life understand you better, tell them about it.

找出你在家中、在工作上、在社交中应该使用的语言。将来，当你想与他人更有效地交流时，尝试找出他们喜欢的语言并投其所好与他交流。
Identify the languages of those around you at home, work and socially - and in the future when you want to communicate more effectively with people, try identifying and then communicating with them in their language.

我们都用不同的方式表达我们的爱意、支持与感谢；有时这些信号可能会混在一起甚至有点交叉。至少现在，你能确保你说的是同一种语言！
We all communicate our love, support and appreciation in different ways; sometimes the signals can get a little mixed and the wires a little crossed. At least now, you can ensure you're all speaking the same language!