Surviving the Gender Divide

幸存的性别鸿沟

陈豪在北京的ABC美国公司工作。他有事去找美国同事Amy。

(Office ambience)

A: Hi Chen Hao, how are you?

C: 我有个问题，要请教你。你有时间吗？

A: Sure. I don't have anything on my calendar for another hour. What's the matter?

C: 我们正在做一个新项目，宣传最新的客户服务计划。

A: That sounds like a good idea. We can always improve customer service. Why is that a problem?

C: 我们成立了一个小组，包括三男三女，以前互不相识，结果沟通上出现了问题，影响了项目进度。

A: What kind of communication issues?

C: 事先声明，我可没有大男子主义，但我觉得那三个女的浪费了很多时间。

A: How?

C: 她们喜欢谈私事。好不容易谈到主题了，她们又没完没了，直到大家都对方案满意了才肯罢休。

A: It's good to be sure that you are all in accord.

C: 可凡事都要有节制啊。有几次我为了推动进度，打断了她们，结果她们特不高兴。

A: I understand what is happening. You have a gender issue.

C: 什么？性别问题？

A: This is going to take a bit more time to explain. Can we continue our conversation over lunch?

Amy和陈豪午饭时继续上午的话题。

C: 我想了一上午，怎么也想不通早上我们说的事怎么会跟性别有关。

A: Remember that you started off by telling me that there were some problems in the group and you immediately zeroed in on the women.

C: 没错，进度慢，就是那几个女同事的责任。

A: Men and women have different approaches to communication that both need to understand.

C: 男性和女性交流的方式，可能是不一样。我们几个男的都觉得可以行动了，但那几个女的老觉得太仓促。

A: As with all conflict, you need to take time to address this. You should talk about what is happening, attempt to understand each other and resolve the issue in a cooperative manner.

C: 加深相互理解？那具体该怎么做呢？

A: Tell the women you appreciate their opinions and expertise. Ask them to focus more on business conversation and less on personal. Next consider how you men are behaving.

C: 难道说我们这些男的也有做错的地方吗？

A: You admitted that you interrupted in an effort to move things along. I bet that you are also trying to dominate and give the women as little chance as possible to speak up.

C: 我承认，我们确实有控制会议之嫌。一般情况下，听完她们的意见，我们就不再去看她们，生怕她们没完没了地说下去。

A: To avoid additional strife and accommodate each other, you need to stop interrupting and trying to dominate.

C: 我知道了，男性希望马上找到解决问题的办法，而女性喜欢先花时间，建立关系，因此双方就会出现矛盾。