71.讽刺小品一则
"Professor, please tell me how I can properly prepare myself to be a good disciple?" the earnest student asked his new master. "I really don't feel confident enough to trust my own discretion."
"老师,请您告诉我怎样才能把自己真正培养一个优秀的门徒?一名真诚的学生问他的新校长。"我真觉得没有足够的信心来相信自己的判断力。"
"You must discipline yourself," replied the elderly master with a serious expression. "You must disentangle yourself from your wayward habits and earthly desires. You must be able to disclaim all of your worldly possessions without becoming disconsolate. A discontented disciple cannot free his mind. Disclose any bad thoughts that you have during your confessions. We will not hold you in disfavor for being honest. Meditate for at least eight hours each day, regardless of the discomfort. Do not let anyone or anything discourage you from continuing your studies here. Ignore outsiders who disdain our way of life or try to discredit our special teachings. You must not allow our difficult way of life to discomfit you. Remember a discordant mind will have great difficulty merging with nature. Lastly, you should learn to be discreet in everything you do. In this way, you will earn the respect of your teachers and your fellow disciples."
"你必须训练自己,"上年纪的校长回答时表情很严肃,"你必须摆脱自己任性的习惯和尘世的欲望。你必须能够做到放弃你所有财产而无半点悲伤。一个不知满足的人,其思想是无法解放的。忏悔时要暴露自己全部的坏思想,我们不会因为你的诚实而不喜欢你。不管有什么不适,也要每天冥想至少八小时,不要让任何人、任何事阻碍你在这继续学习。对那些鄙视我们的生活方式或试图怀疑我们特别教义的局外人要不屑一顾。不可以让艰苦的生活把你打败。记住,一颗自身不和谐的心灵很难与自然融合。最后,你应该学会做任何事都要谨慎小心。这样的话,你就会赢得老师和同学们的尊重。"
"But professor, I can't seem to concentrate," said the student. "In my discourse with the deity, my speech tends to be discursive. I have had five discrete episodes of meditation failure. What shall we do?"
"但是老师,我似乎不能集中思想,"学生说,"我与神对话时,我常常会语无伦次,已经分别有五次冥想失败的事情发生了,你看我该怎么办?"
"This is not uncommon," replied the master with a wide smile. "You need to consult a meditation book. I have written a good one. For a limited time, you can buy a copy of it in our bookstore for a 10% discount."
"这很常见。"校长咧开嘴笑着说,"你需要查阅一下冥想方面的书。我写的那本不错。不用多大功夫,你可以在我们书店买一本,还可以打九折。"