现在,为充分说明友谊底这第二种功用起见,我们再一谈那个显而易见的、流俗之人也可以注意到的那一点,就是朋友底忠言。赫拉克里塔斯在他底隐语之一中说得很好,“干光永远最佳”。一个人从另一个人的净言中所得来的光明比从他自己底理解力,判断力中所出的光明更是干净纯粹,这是无疑的:一个人从自己底理解力与判断力中得来的那种光明总不免是受他底感情和习惯底浸润影响的。因此,在朋友所给的诤言与自己所作的主张之间其差别有如良友底净言与谄佞底建议之间的差别一样。因为谄谀我者无过于我;而防御自谄自谀之术更无有能及朋友之直言者也。诤言共有两种:一是关于行为的,一是关于事业的。说到第一种,最能保人心神之健康的预防药就是朋友底忠言规谏。一个人底严厉自责是一种有时过于猛烈,蚀力过强的药品。读劝善的好书不免沈闷无味。在别人身上观察自己底错误有时与自己底情形不符。最好的药方(最有效并且最易服用的)就是朋友底劝谏。许多人(尤其是伟大的人们)因为没有朋友向他们进忠告的缘故,做出大谬极误的事来,以致他们底名声和境遇均大受损失,这种情形看起来是很可惊异的。这些人是,有如圣雅各所说,“有时看看镜子,而不久就会忘了自己底形貌的”。讲到事业方面,一个人也许以为两只眼所见的并不多于一只眼所见的;或者以为局中人之所见总较旁观者之所见为多;或者以为一个在发怒中的人和一个默数过二十四个字母的人一般地聪明;或者以为一枝旧式毛瑟枪,托在臂上放和托在架上放一样地得力;他可以有许多类此的愚蠢骄傲的妄想,以为自己一身就很够了。然而能使事业趋于正轨者还数忠言。又,假如有人想采纳别人底忠告,而愿意零碎采纳,在某一件事上问某一人,在另一件事上问另一人,这样的办法也好(这就是说,总比他全不问人的或者好一点);可是他冒着两种危险;一是他将得不到忠实的进言;因为所进的言论必须是来自一位完全诚心的朋友的才好,否则鲜有不被歪屈而倾向于进言人之私利者也。另一种危险是他所得的进言,将为一种有害而不安全的言论(虽然用意是好的)一半是招致祸患的而一半是救济或预防祸患的;有如你生病请医,而这位医生是虽被认为善治你所患的病症,却是不熟悉你底体质的;因此他也许会使你目前的疾病可以痊愈而将危害你健康的另一方面;结果是治了病症而杀了病人。一个完全通晓你底事业境遇的朋友则不然,他将小心注意,以免因为推进你目前的某种事业而使你在别的方面突受打击。所以最好不要依靠零零碎碎的忠告;它们扰乱和误引底可能多于安定和指导底可能也。
After these two noble fruits of friendship (peace in the affections, and support of the judgment), followeth the last fruit; which is like the pomegranate, full of many kernels; I mean aid, and bearing a part, in all actions and occasions. Here the best way to represent to life the manifold use of friendship, is to cast and see how many things there are, which a man cannot do himself; and then it will appear, that it was a sparing speech of the ancients, to say, that a friend is another himself; for that a friend is far more than himself. Men have their time, and die many times, in desire of some things which they principally take to heart; the bestowing of a child, the finishing of a work, or the like. If a man have a true friend, he may rest almost secure that the care of those things will continue after him. So that a man hath, as it were, two lives in his desires. A man hath a body, and that body is confined to a place; but where friendship is, all offices of life are as it were granted to him, and his deputy. For he may exercise them by his friend. How many things are there which a man cannot, with any face or comeliness, say or do himself? A man can scarce allege his own merits with modesty, much less extol them; a man cannot sometimes brook to supplicate or beg; and a number of the like. But all these things are graceful, in a friend's mouth, which are blushing in a man's own. So again, a man's person hath many proper relations, which he cannot put off. A man cannot speak to his son but as a father; to his wife but as a husband; to his enemy but upon terms:whereas a friend may speak as the case requires, and not as it sorteth with the person. But to enumerate these things were endless; I have given the rule, where a man cannot fitly play his own part; if he have not a friend, he may quit the stage.
在友谊底这两种高贵的功效(心情上的平和与理智上的扶助)之后还有那最末的一种功效:这种功效有如石榴之多核。这句话的意思就是朋友对于一个人底各种行为,各种需要,都有所帮助,有所参加也。在这一点上,若要把友谊底多种用途很显明生动地表现出来,最好的方法是计算一下,看看一个人有多少事情是不能靠自己去办理的:这样计算一下之后,我们就可以看得出古人所谓“朋友者另一己身也”的那句话是一句与事实相较还很不够的话;因为一个朋友比较一个人底己身用处还要大得多。人底生命有限,有许多人在没有达到最大的心愿——如子女底婚事,工作之完成,等等——之前就死了。要是一个人有了一位真心的朋友,那末他就大可安心,知道这些事件在他死后还是有人照料的。如此,一个人在完成心愿上简直是有两条性命了。一个人有一个身体,而这个身体是限于一个地方的;但是假如他有朋友,那末所有的人生大事都可算是有人办理了。就是他自己不能去的地方,他底朋友也可以代表他的。还有,有多少事是一个人为了颜面底关系,不能自己说或办的!一个人不能自承有功而免矜夸之嫌,更不用说是不能表扬自己底功绩了;他有时也不能低首下心地去有所恳求;诸如此类的事很多。但是这一切的事,在一个人自己底嘴里说出来未免赧颜的,在朋友嘴里说出来却是很好。类此,一个人还有许多身份上的关系,是他不能弃置不顾的。例如,一个人对儿子讲话,就不能不保持父亲底身份;对妻子讲话就不能不保持丈夫底身份;对仇敌讲话就不能不顾虑自己底体面:但是一个朋友却可以就事论事,而不必顾虑到人底方面。这一类的事情要--列举出来是说不完的;要之,一个人若是有某种事自己不能很得体地去做时,我对他有一条规则可说,就是,他如果没有朋友的话,那末他只有“下台”之一法