7.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
如果女人能做到以秃顶和啤酒肚在大街上晃还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等。
8.The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
小腿上的骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。
9.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
窃钩者诛,窃国者为诸侯。
10.The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
小孩子要中间名,纯粹是为了让他知道他啥时候真的有麻烦了。
起个全名就为了揍孩子前可以底气十足地喊出来。
11.It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
跳楼的时候,“啊——”的时候还没死,“啪!”那才是死了。
12.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
好客就是:让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样,尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。
13.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
人生何处不杯具,唯有面对饮水机。