African-American women are less likely to marry than white women overall, but educated black women are considerably more likely to marry than their less-educated counterparts. As of 2008, 70 percent of African-American female college graduates had married, compared with 60 percent of high school graduates and just 53 percent of high school dropouts.

总体来说，非裔美国女性结婚的比白人女性少，但与教育水平不太高的黑人女性相比，受到良好教育的黑人女性结婚的可能要大得多。自2008年以来，70%的非裔女大学生结婚了；相比之下，高中毕业的结婚率只有60%；高中辍学的则只有53%。

One reason educated heterosexual women may worry about their marriage prospects today is that overall marriage rates have been slipping since 1980. But they have slipped less for educated women than for anyone else. Furthermore, college-educated women, once they do marry, are much less likely to divorce. As a result, by age 30, and especially at ages 35 and 40, college-educated women are significantly more likely to be married than any other group. And according to calculations by the economist Betsey Stevenson, an educated woman still single at age 40 is much more likely to marry in the next decade than her less educated counterparts.

如今受到良好教育的异性恋女性对婚姻前景担心的一个原因是，1980年以来总体的结婚率一直在下降。但与其它人群相比，受到良好教育的女性结婚率下降较小。而且，一旦受过大学教育的女性结婚了，就不太可能离婚。结果，30岁左右，特别是在35至40岁期间，受大学教育的女性比其它人更有可能结婚。根据经济学家贝特西·史蒂文森的测算，与受到教育不太高的女性相比，40岁仍单身的受到良好教育的女性在下一个10年结婚的可能性会加大。

Even for women who don't marry, it's better to be educated; a 2002 study found that never-married white women with more education than average lived "the longest, healthiest lives of all groups."

甚至对未结婚的女性来说，受教育也是好事；2002年的一份研究指出，在所有人中，受教育水平高于普通人的终身未嫁的白人女性“活得时间最长，生活也最健康”。

ONE of the dire predictions about educated women is true: today, more of them are "marrying down." Almost 30 percent of wives today have more education than their husbands, while less than 20 percent of husbands have more education than their wives, almost the exact reverse of the percentages in 1970.

有个关于受教育女性的可怕预测现在成事实了：如今很多受到良好教育的女性“下嫁”了。现在约有30%的妻子的教育水平比他们的丈夫高，而丈夫学历高于妻子的不足20%，这基本上与1970年的情况完全相反。

But there is not a shred of evidence that such marriages are any less satisfying than marriages in which men have equal or higher education than their wives. Indeed, they have many benefits for women.

但是没有丝毫的证据说明这样的婚姻没有男性学位高于（或等于）妻子的那样令人满意。实际上对女性有很多好处。

In a forthcoming paper from the Council on Contemporary Families, Oriel Sullivan, a researcher at Oxford University, reports that the higher a woman's human capital in relation to her husband — measured by her educational resources and earnings potential — the more help with housework she actually gets from her mate. The degree to which housework is shared is now one of the two most important predictors of a woman's marital satisfaction. And husbands benefit too, since studies show that women feel more sexually attracted to partners who pitch in.

哈佛大学研究员奥瑞儿·沙利文（Oriel Sullivan）在《当代家庭协会》发表的一篇论文称， 与丈夫相比，女性的人力资本（用教育资源和可能的收入来衡量）越多，干家务时伴侣给予她的帮助也就越多。家务被分担的程度是现在两个最重要的估计女性婚姻状况的指标之一。而且，这也有利于男性，因为研究显示女性对教育水平不高的伴侣更有性吸引力。

Speaking of which, educated wives also get better sex, whatever their partner's educational level, according to the sexuality researchers Pepper Schwartz and Virginia Rutter. They are more likely to receive as well as give oral sex, to use a greater variety of sexual positions and to experience orgasm regularly.

提到这一点，性研究员佩珀·施瓦兹（Pepper Schwartz） and弗吉尼亚·瑞特（ Virginia Rutter）认为受到良好教育的妻子的性生活更加和谐，而不论他们伴侣的教育水平如何。他们更愿意口交或被口交，更可能使用多种体位和经常达到性高潮。

Certainly, some guys are still threatened by a woman's achievements. But scaring these types off might be a good thing. The men most likely to feel emotional and physical distress when their wives have a higher status or income tend to be those who are more invested in their identity as breadwinners than as partners and who define success in materialistic ways. Both these traits are associated with lower marital quality. Few women really want to marry a man whose penis rises and falls in tandem with the size of his paycheck or the prestige of his diploma.

当然，有些男人也会受不了女人的成就。但是把这类男人吓跑也许是件好事。当妻子的地位或收入超过自己时，他们的身心很可能会沮丧，而且他们往往认为自己是家庭的支柱而不是伴侣，他们往往用物质的方式定义成功。这两种品质与低质量的婚姻是联系在一起的。钱包鼓、学历高的时候，那话儿就竖起来了，否则就蔫下去了，这样的男人是没有女人真正愿意嫁的。

Yet when the journalist Liza Mundy interviewed young women for her forthcoming book on female breadwinners, she found that most wanted a mate they could "look up to" or "admire" — and didn't think they could admire a man who was less educated than they were. During a talk I recently gave to a women's group in San Francisco, an audience member said, "I want him to respect what I know, but I also want him to know just a little more than me." One of my students once told me, "it's exciting to be a bit in awe of a guy."

但是当她为新书采访一些女性家庭支柱时，记者丽莎·曼迪（Liza Mundy） 发现绝大数人都希望找个可以“ 仰望 ”或“ 羡慕”的对象，不希望他们羡慕的人受到的教育比不上自己。最近在旧金山跟一个女性团体谈话时，一名观众说，“我希望他尊重我知道的东西，而且我还希望他知道的比我多。” 有个学生也曾经告诉我，“对一个人有点敬畏也是比较有趣的。”

For a century, women have binged on romance novels that encouraged them to associate intimidation with infatuation; it's no wonder that this emotional hangover still lingers. Valentine's Day is a perfect time to reject the idea that the ideal man is taller, richer, more knowledgeable, more renowned or more powerful. The most important predictor of marital happiness for a woman is not how much she looks up to her husband but how sensitive he is to her emotional cues and how willing he is to share the housework and child-care. And those traits are often easier to find in a low-key guy than a powerhouse.

爱情小说常让人将崇拜、敬畏当成了喜欢，而一个世纪以来，女性都喜欢读这些小说。这种情感需求还是会遗留在脑际的。理想的男人应该是更高大的、更富有的、更有知识的、更加出名的或者更加强劲的。情人节是抵制这些观点的最佳时机。女人婚姻幸福最重要的一个因素不是她多么仰慕丈夫，而是丈夫对妻子的情感暗示有多敏感，有多愿意分担家务和照看孩子。而且与强人相比，这些品质在不打眼的人身上会更容易被发现。

I am not arguing that women ought to "settle." I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial security, social status and sense of accomplishment. But that requires ditching the Lois Lane syndrome, where we ignore the attractions and attention of Clark Kent because we're so eager for the occasional fly-by from Superman.

我并不是说女人应该“凑合”过下去。除了依赖男人获得经济支撑、社会地位和成就感之外，我觉得从男人身上可以获得更多其它东西。但这需要摆脱路易斯·莱恩（Lois Lane）综合症，因为它让我们忽略了克拉克·肯特的魅力和关怀，因为我们太渴望见到身边偶尔飞过的超人。