Have you ever met someone and within seconds completely forgotten their name? (Haven't we all.)
你有没有试过在新认识某人后,几秒钟后就完全忘掉这个人的名字?(这样的情况,我们都囧过….)
Remembering people's names is crucial if you want to build strong relationships in life. And we all know strong relationships are one of the most important factors for a productive and successful life.
如果你想在生活中建立紧密的人际关系,那么记住人们的名字显得至关重要。我们都明白,要想有一个飞黄腾达的人生,紧密的人际关系是成功的关键因素之一。
So why is it so difficult to remember someone's name? And what can we do to make sure we're not left in an awkward situation where we utter those fatal words: "sorry–what was your name again?"
那么,为什么要记住一个人的名字是如此的困难呢?于是,我们必须得确保自己在尴尬中不会更尴尬,否则我们都会犯这样的致命:“额,抱歉,你的名字是?”
One of the key reasons we forget names is that we don't "focus" our attention on them. As soon as we're introduced to someone new, our thoughts are racing ahead to think of "what to say next" and we pay no attention to the name we've just been told.
我们会忘了别人的名字,其中一个原因是我们没有将注意力放在那人身上。每当我们向新认识的人做自我介绍时,我们会思考下一句话说什么,所以就会略过对方刚刚提到过的名字。
Not only is it embarrassing when this happens, it can also severely damage new relationships.
假如真的忘了别人的名字,情况会变得很糟糕,还有可能危及这段的新生人际关系。
On the flip side, one of the quickest and easiest ways to build rapport and demonstrate your respect for someone – is to use their name when you're speaking to them. You may have noticed that successful people who carry a lot of authority in their jobs often use peoples names when they're speaking.
相反,构建一段良好的人际关系,展示出自己对他人的尊重,最好最快的方法就是你和他人谈话时叫出对方的名字。或许你平常会注意到,事业获得成功、有权威的人士常常在与别人对话中叫出他人的名字。
There are a few things you can do to help you with this.
下面的方式可以帮助你记住别人的名字:
1.Focus and listen intently. The first is to mentally make a decision to remember the name before you hear it. This focuses your brain and directs it to store the name in your long-term memory. You can imagine that this person is very powerful and important and that it's in your interest to remember their name. By making an effort to focus, you will also naturally lean in and listen more intently when they say their name.
1.集中精神,仔细聆听。首先,在进行谈话前,你要暗示自己先记得对方的名字。这样会让你的大脑集中精力,直接将这个心理暗示存储到大脑的长期记忆空间。另外你要想象,这个人是很有权威,且非常关键重要,那你就会提起兴趣去记住此人的名字了!努力去集中精神,你就会自然而然地倾听并专心留意对方的名字。
2.Repeat the name. The second is to repeat the name back to the person you have just met. You can take this a step further by asking them to spell their name or asking them the origin of their name. This extends the conversation and provides more mental "triggers" for you to recall the name at a later stage. It also builds rapport because you are showing an interest in their name. Remember to only ask these questions if it makes sense to do so (i.e. the name is unusual). People may question your intelligence if you ask them how to spell common names like "Dave" or "Sarah".
2.重复对方的名字。第二点就是要重复你新认识的人的名字。想要印象深刻,你还可以让对方拼写名字,或者让对方说说取该名的缘由。这样做不仅能扩展话题,还能在你脑海中建立该名字的记忆触发点。这些问题同样可会帮助构建人际关系,因为你对对方的名字表现出了兴趣。不过要记住,只能问些有意义的问题那(也就是说对方的名字要很特别)。假如,你问对方一些简单名字(如Dave和Sarah)的拼法,他会觉得你的智商很低。
3.Associate the Name. The third is to associate their name with something familiar. For example you could associate them with someone else you already know who has the same name.
3.把名字和其他事物联系起来。第三点是要用一些熟悉的事物与名字之间建立一种关联性。例如,你可以用一个你熟悉的同名同姓的人作为对方名字的关联点。
4.Rhyme the name. The fourth is to rhyme their name with another word. The more absurd the rhyming word –the better. Our brains love absurdity and finds it very easy to remember absurd things over dull things. I once had a client called Anshika - which I'm sure you'll agree is an unusual name. How did I remember it? I rhymed it with "chicken tikka" – this sounds silly but guess what? I never forgot her name! You can play around with adding an image to your rhyme too, to increase your chances of remembering it! I'm sure you can imagine how I may have pictured my client Anshika!
4.让名字朗朗上口。第四是要把名字和其他的单词取谐音。押韵的词越荒谬可笑,名字越容易记住。我们的脑子就喜欢一些荒谬可笑之事,这些事笑点低,大脑便能容易记得住。之前,我有一个名叫Anshika的客户(大家肯定会觉得这个名字很特别)。那我是怎样记住这个名字呢?我弄了个小押韵:chicken tikka(烤鸡肉)。这样听起来很荒唐。但你知道么,我永远都忘不了这个名字。除了押韵,你还可以弄些小恶作剧——用图像描绘名字,这样能增加名字被记住的几率!我相信,大家可以想像得到,我是如此那般地用图画描绘出我的那个客户的。
5.Note Facial Features.The fifth is to note any distinguishable facial features. What is different or unusual about this person? For example someone may have unusually curly hair and you may remember them as "curly sue". By associating their name with the characteristic the next time you meet them, you're memory will be triggered by the feature (in this case curly hair) which will in turn trigger the name! (curly sue).
5.记下脸部特征。第五是要记住所有容易辨认出的脸部特征。这个人的特别之处在哪呢?例如,有人会有一头很特别的卷发,那你就能记住他是“卷毛”。在下次见面时,你将那人的特征与名字相关联,你的记忆就会被这特征触发(一头卷发),那名字就会在你的脑海中闪过了(这是卷毛同志!)
As you can see, there are many ways to increase your memory when it comes to remembering people's names. And in my experience it really is worth it to make the effort, especially if it means you escape that dreaded phrase: "Sorry what was your name again?"
如你所见,要记住一个人的名字,增强记忆力的方法是多种多样的。依我经验而谈,努力记住其他人的名字是非常有价值的,特别能把你从“不好意思,能再说一遍你的名字么?” 这样的囧话语中拯救。
Why not try using one of these tips next time you're introduced to someone? Who knows – it could be the start of a really important relationship in your life?
下次再有认识新朋友的场合,你也可以尝试实用上述建议哦!这次的互相介绍可能就是你人生的一段重要的人际关系的开始。这“天”才知道,我们只需好好把握。