Nobody likes a braggart. They dominate conversations and only talk about themselves. They self-promote shamelessly in order to get ahead in their careers.
没人喜欢大话王。他们喜欢侃侃而谈,而且只爱自说自话。他们不知羞耻地自我吹捧,只为了在职场上抢先一步。
But according to a recent column in The Wall Street Journal, we might all be braggarts in this competitive society obsessed with social networking.
然而,《华尔街日报》最新的一篇专栏文章中提到,在竞争激烈的社会中,沉迷于社交网络中的我们或许都会成为大话王。
Don't believe it? Take a close look at your social-networking sites. Do you like to post photos of yourself in restaurants and nightclubs to show others what an exciting life you have? Or if you are in a relationship, do you like to write about how happily in love you are? Or perhaps you are of the subtle type who constantly complain about their jobs but really just want to impress others with the important position they have.
不相信?可以好好看看你的那些社交网站。你喜欢上传自己享受美食、混迹夜店的照片,只为大秀自己的快意人生吗?热恋中的你,愿意分享自己沐浴爱河的快乐吗?也许你十分低调,只是像其他人那样不断抱怨工作罢了。但实际上,你这样做只是为了显示自己身居要职,给别人留下深刻印象罢了。
The Internet provides a global audience for boasting and social media sites encourage it, says Elizabeth Bernstein, a columnist with the Wall Street Journal. We are all expected to be perfect all the time. The result is that more and more people are carefully managing their online images.
《华尔街日报》的专栏记者伊丽莎白•伯恩斯坦表示,互联网为我们吹牛提供了全球受众,社交媒体网站则起到推波助澜的作用。我们都希望自己时刻保持完美,结果就是,越来越多的人开始精心打造自己的网络形象。
But the issue is not limited to the Internet. In a fiercely competitive job market we must sell ourselves on multiple platforms and demonstrate that we excel above all others.
但是,吹牛这个问题并非局限在互联网上。在竞争激烈的职场中,我们必须在多个平台上推销自己,证明我们比其他人更优秀。
In fact, we have become so accustomed to boasting that we don't even realize we are doing it, says Bernstein. This is harmful to our relationships and puts people off.
伯恩斯坦表示,事实上,我们已经太习惯于自夸了,甚至连自己都没有意识到。这对我们的人际关系可以说是有百害而无一利,令人反感。
So why do we keep at it?
那么,为何我们还要继续大话连篇呢?
Bernstein talked to a few experts who said that people brag for all sorts of reasons: to appear worthy of attention or love, or to cover up our deepest insecurities; to prove to ourselves we are doing fine and that people who said we would fail are wrong; or simply because we're excited when good things happen to us.
伯恩斯坦与一些专家就此进行了讨论,他们认为人们出于各种各样的原因来炫耀:为了彰显自己值得关注或被爱;为了掩盖内心深处的不安全感;为了向自己证明,我们做得不错,那些曾预言我们注定失败的人是错的;或是仅仅因为当好事降临时,我们会兴奋。
Talking about ourselves just feels great. According to the results of a series of experiments conducted by Harvard University neuroscientists, the reward areas of our brain–the same areas that respond to "primary rewards" such as food and sex–are activated when we talk about ourselves.
谈论自己的感觉真是太美妙了。哈佛大学神经系统学家们做了一系列实验,结果显示,我们大脑的"奖励区"──也就是对食物和性等"主要奖励"做出反应的区域──在我们谈论自己的时候会被激活。
We devote between 30 to 40 percent of our conversation time to doing just that, according to the study, which did not focus on boasting specifically but on sharing things about ourselves.
该研究表明,我们30%到40%的谈话时间都花在自己身上了。该研究关注的并非自夸炫耀而是与他人分享自我。
Unfortunately, Bernstein says, some people cannot seem to tell the difference between sharing positive information that others might actually want to know and downright bragging. She suggests that bragging involves comparison, whether stated or implied. So you might want to refrain from discussing college courses with your former primary school classmate who failed to get into college.
伯恩斯坦指出,遗憾的是,有些人好像分不清分享其他人想知道的正面信息和大肆炫耀的区别。她认为,炫耀涉及到了与他人比较,有的直截了当,有的暗含其中。因此,在同没能升入大学的小学同学交谈时,你或许会可以避免触及有关大学课程方面的话题。
So, how do you deal with an obnoxious braggart?
那么,如何对待一个令人生厌的大话精呢?
"Feel sorry for them, because they're doing this impulsive, destructive thing that won't help them in the long run," Simine Vazire, a research psychologist and associate professor at Washington University, said according to the column. Research on self-enhancement shows that people who brag make a good first impression, but the effect diminishes over time.
该文章还提到了华盛顿大学研究心理学家斯明•瓦兹副教授的原话:"我很为他们感到惋惜,因为从长远来看,他们这种冲动有害的做法不会有好处。"对自我提升的研究表明,大话王给人的第一印象不错,但随着时间推移,这种好印象会渐渐消退。