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1) You don't know yourself
你不了解你自己
The vast majority of people I see in the workplace just don't know themselves at all. When asked, "What's your top priority in life and in your career? What would you give up anything for?" or "When you're 90 looking back, what do you want to have done, been and left behind? " I get blank stares and mouths hanging open. People don't know themselves well or deeply anymore. Why? Perhaps because we don't make time in our lives to get to know ourselves -- we're just too over-the-top busy. Or perhaps the process of knowing oneself deeply is intimidating and scary. Whatever the reason, if you don't know who you are, at your core, and what you stand for and care about, how can you lead a life that aligns with your needs, values and interests?
在工作中，我看到绝大多数的人都不了解他们自己。当被问到，“你生活和事业中的首要任务是什么？你会为了什么放弃一切？”或者“当你90岁了再回头看，你想你做过什么事？成为什么人？留下什么遗产？”我得到的是迷茫的目光和张大的嘴。人们不再深入地了解自己了。为什么？也许因为我们没有留时间来了解自己——我们只是忙得过头了。或者也许是深深地了解自己的过程很吓人很惊慌。不管什么原因，如果你不知道内心深处你到底是谁、支持什么、关心什么，你又如何能安排你的生活符合你的需要、价值和兴趣呢？
2)You know yourself, but you make yourself wrong
你了解自己，但是还是让自己错了
In this situation, you know yourself and what you want, but you simply make yourself wrong. You tell yourself, "Yeah, I want to change, but I'm wrong to feel that way." Or "I'm lucky to have a job, so I shouldn't rock the boat" or "I have so much -- I should just feel blessed and not complain." So many people (women in particular) doubt the validity of their feelings or repress their deepest longings because they think they're wrong to have them. Until you can make yourself "right," you can't find peace or joy.
在这种情况下，你了解自己，也知道自己的所需，但是你只是让自己错了。你告诉自己，“唉，我想改变，但有那样的感觉是不对的，”或者“我够幸运有一份工作，所以我不能破坏现状”或者“我有的已经够多了——我应该觉得感恩而不是抱怨。”很多人（尤其是女人）怀疑他们感觉的正确性，或者压抑最深的渴望，因为他们觉得他们不该拥有这些。只有你让自己“正确了”，你才能找到宁静和快乐。
3) You've lost the courage to act
你已经失去了行动的勇气
For many who know what they want, they've lost the courage to take hard action. We've been seduced by some erroneous concept that life should be easy. Where did we get that idea? Making life change isn't easy, but it's so worth it, especially if you hate where you are today. It takes courage, grit and commitment to bring about lasting change, and you can do it, but only if you decide to connect to your own internal power, courage and fortitude.
很多人知道他们想要的，他们只是失去了做出实际行动的勇气。我们已经被一些生活应该容易些的错误观念所误导。我们从哪获得那种想法的？改变生活并不容易，但是值得，尤其是在你讨厌自己现在的情况。持续的改变需要很大的勇气、磨砺和承诺，只要你唤起内心的力量、勇气和坚韧，你就能做到。
4) You've prioritized outward things over your own happiness
你已经将外在的事物优先于自己的幸福之上
This reason is yours if you can answer "Yes" to this: "Are you staying in this miserable career solely because you think it's the only one that will keep paying you what you want?" If money is keeping you stuck, it's time to think about prioritizing your happiness over your checkbook. How much money do you truly need? Is your current lifestyle so fulfilling that you'd trade it over your health, happiness and well-being? Of course you have to pay your bills and meet your financial obligations -- I'm not suggesting for a minute that you don't. I am, however, recommending that you re-examine how you live and what you truly need. Meeting your financial obligations doesn't have to mean that you're miserable for the rest of your life.
如果下面这个问题你回答“是”，那么问题在你身上：“因为你觉得这份工作是唯一能让你买得起想要的东西的工作，所以你一直做着这份痛苦的工作？”如果金钱让你受困受苦，该好好想想把幸福排在你的支票簿上了。你到底需要多少钱？你现在的生活方式是否让你满意到可以将其置于你的健康、幸福和康乐之上？当然你得自己买单，承担自己的债务——我从来没有一分钟暗示说你不必。然而，我建议你重新审视你该如何生活以及你真正需要的是什么。承担自己的财务责任并不意味着你要活在痛苦之中。
5) You've been brainwashed by the myth that you can't love your work
你被洗脑了，认为自己不可能爱上工作
There's a prevalent myth in the U.S. today that work is supposed to be challenging and unsatisfying. We look at people who love their work and we hate them. We say, "Yeah, she's doing what she wants to, but that's because she was (lucky, stupid, born into it, inherited money, gorgeous, etc.) And I can't do that because ___." We give ourselves thousands of reasons why loving what we do professionally just isn't in the cards for us. We do that because it's too painful for us to watch other people thrive and adore their work. We want it to be impossible because it seems so unattainable for us.
当今美国有一个普遍的神话，即工作应当是富于挑战性和不令人满意的。我们看着那些热爱工作的人，讨厌他们。我们说，“是的，她做的是她想要做的事，但那只是因为她（幸运、愚蠢、天生适合、祖传产业、极棒，等等）。我不能做是因为______。”对于为什么不爱我们的职业，我们为自己找了很多理由，只是因为不可能发生。我们这么做是因为看着别人事业兴旺、崇拜他们的工作，让人感到太痛苦了。我们想要把热爱工作这件事变成不可能，是因为我们似乎做不到热爱工作这一点。
6) You are sabotaged by being emotionally overwhelmed
你被情绪打击压得喘不过气来了
Each day, I see individuals who are highly competent, smart, achievement oriented and outwardly successful, but many of them are in terrible emotional overwhelm -- they're gripped by anxiety, fear or victimization and they lack the ability to speak up authoritatively or with command. The emotionality of their lives keeps them from reasoning through effective solutions and strategies.
每天，我能看到那些非常能干、聪明、有成就和表面成功的人，但是很多人的情绪状况非常糟——他们受焦虑、恐惧或者欺骗所折磨，也缺乏用权威的或者命令的口气说话的能力。这些生活中的情绪妨碍了他们为改变而找出有效的方法和策略。
7) Your shame and vulnerability keep you from getting help
你的羞耻感和脆弱阻止你寻求帮助
If we're afraid of appearing or feeling vulnerable, then we blunt all of the other experiences/emotions we desperately long for, including happiness, connection, empathy, love and more. Further, if you need to appear the "expert" and won't admit your flaws, foibles or 'gaps", you'll never get the help you need to make life change. As Einstein has said, "You can't solve a problem on the level it was created.
如果我们害怕表现脆弱，或者感到脆弱，那么我们会对其他所有我们极度渴望的经历/情感表现迟钝，包括幸福、人际、仁慈、爱和其他更多。进一步说，如果你需要表现得像“专家”，不承认自己的缺点、弱点或者“差距”，那么你就无法得到你需要的帮助，以此来改变你的生活。正如爱因斯坦所说，“如果没有发现问题，你就不能解决问题。”
8) You've forgotten what true happiness feels like
你已经忘了真正的幸福的模样
Finally, the most depressing reason of all that contributes to why you hate your career is that you've simply forgotten what it feels like to be happy and joyful in your work. You can't remember the last time you said about your work, "That was a great day well spent!" We all strive so hard to achieve, win, or survive -- and we're so beaten down by it -- that many have lost touch with what true joy feels and looks like.
最后，对于你为什么讨厌你的工作，最令人沮丧的原因是，你根本就已经忘了在工作中幸福和快乐的感觉。你记不得上一次谈论你的工作是在什么时候，“今天过得太有意义了！”我们努力去获取、成功或者生存——我们已被这些所屈服——这些让我们忘记了真正的欢乐是什么样子。
If any of these reasons resonate for you, there's only one choice to make - stay put in your misery or make a change.
如果你对其中一个原因有共鸣，只有一个选择——继续痛苦或者作出改变。
