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Looking like a tourist can cost you money and pride.
如果看起来像个游客，会让你又花钱又伤自尊。
Looking like a local can open you up to even greater harassment.
而看起来像本地人可能会带给你更多的烦恼。
Read our survivor's guide, split the difference and come away with your upper lip intact.
阅读一下我们的生存指南，寻找一种折中的方式，让你在游玩时不再沉默。
1. Getting around
出行
Travel around the UK is relatively simple.
在英国旅行相对来说还是比较简单的。
Yes, they drive on the left, but don't be daunted. Most roads are so narrow that it doesn't make any difference which side you're on.
没错，他们靠左行驶，但别被吓到。大部分的道路都很狭窄，你靠哪边都没什么分别。
Be prepared when driving distances of more than 20 miles.
当你的驾驶距离超过20英里时，要做好准备。
Britain has an extensive and efficient rail network, which only ever grinds to a halt when the weather turns hot, cold, wet or dry.
英国有着广阔而且高效的铁路网络，只是在天气变热、变冷、变得湿润或干燥时才会停摆。
Tickets are expensive but you can find cheap fares by booking eight or nine years in advance of travel.
车票很贵，但如果你提前个八、九年预订，还是有廉价票的。
2. Climate
气候
There are warm days in the UK, but you know you're in a damp country when the merest hint of sunshine is front page news.
英国也有温暖的日子，但你要明白你是在一个潮湿的国家，哪怕有一丁点出太阳的迹象也是头条新闻。
Britain has four seasons, and while the transitions between them can be pleasant, each is typically as wet, gray and cold as the last.
英国有四季，虽然四季交替时比较舒适，但每一季都很分明：潮湿、灰暗、寒冷。
All are considered by Brits to be "ice cream weather."
英国人看来这四季都是“冰淇淋天气”。
Whatever the climate throws at you, be prepared for endless conversations about it.
不论你遇到怎样的天气，都要准备面对关于天气无休止的讨论。
These needn't be dull since, like Eskimos with snow, Brits have a impressive lexicon for rain.
这也不会很无聊，因为就好像爱斯基摩人有许多关于“雪”的词汇一样，关于“雨” 英国人也有许多说法。
If you hear the word "mizzle," it probably means a light shower. Or maybe a low quality Snoop Dogg track.
如果你听到“mizzle”这个词，意思应该是小雨。不过也可能是一张低音质的Snoop Dogg（美国歌手）的唱片。
3. Royalty
皇室
Don't be duped by Downton Abbey. Britain has come a long way since the days when ordinary folk were awestruck by aristocracy.
别被《唐顿庄园》骗了。英国早已不再是那个普通民众都要对贵族肃然起敬的时代了。
This is a modern country where all are born equal and social rewards are based on merit.
这是一个现代国家，人们生来平等，社会报酬基于功绩来分配。
This is why few British people bothered turning up when a blue-blooded chap married his sweetheart in 2011.
这就是为什么，2011年当一个纯种贵族血统的小伙子娶了他的心上人时，基本没什么英国人愿意出场。
It's why barely anyone noticed when she gave birth a couple of years later.
这就是为什么几年后当她生下孩子时几乎没有人注意到。
And it's also why no one batted an eyelid when his flame-haired brother got naked in Vegas.
这也是为什么当他火红头发的弟弟在维加斯全裸时，都没有人惊讶得眨眼睛。
OK, none of that is true. British people are as in thrall to their royal family as you are.
好吧，这些都是假的。英国人和你一样，被他们的皇室家庭所束缚着。
And they're willing to sell you a Wills 'n' Kate souvenir tea towel with matching oven mitts to prove it.
他们很乐意卖给你一块威廉王子和凯特王妃的纪念茶巾并配上相称的隔热手套，这足以证明这一点。
4. History
历史
Britain has so many ancient attractions, it's hard to know where to start.
英国有太多的古迹，不知道该从哪儿开始说起。
And if you do manage to visit all the sites of historical interest, archeologists will simply dig up the bones of another 15th-century king from under a parking lot, just to annoy you.
如果你真的游遍了所有的历史名胜，考古学家会从停车场地下随便挖出一个15世纪国王的骨头，纯粹是为了惹你生气。
But since some Brits are only aware of two key dates -- a French invasion in 1066 and an England soccer World Cup victory 900 years later -- you don't need to try too hard to catch up.
不过由于部分英国人只清楚两个重要日期：一个法国人在1066年的入侵和900年后英国赢得世界杯足球赛，你没必要努力参观那么多古迹。
Try visiting the northern city of York, where you can wallow in 2,000 years of British history in one location.
可以去参观北部城市约克，在这一个地方你就可以体会2000年的英国历史。
Or Bath, where you can do the same and also wallow in a nice thermal bath.
或者去巴斯，这里不但可以体会到同样的历史，还可以洗个舒服的温泉。
5. Tea
茶叶
There may be coffee shops on every UK street corner, but Britain is resolutely a tea-drinking nation.
也许在英国每条街的拐角都有咖啡店，但英国绝对是个饮茶的国家。
Vast lakes of insipid infusions are consumed on a daily basis.
英国人每天都要消耗掉几个湖泊的水量。
Visitors will note the almost mandatory provision of a miniscule electric jug, or kettle, in every hotel room.
游客们会发现，每个酒店房间都有一个小型电热水壶或茶壶，这几乎是一项强制规定。
It will take four hours to boil half a cup, but for many Brits this is an essential lifeline. There isn't any crisis they believe can't be solved with a nice cup of tea, and perhaps a biscuit.
煮半杯茶要四个小时，但对于大多数英国人来说这是必备的生命线。在他们看来，喝着一杯美滋滋的茶，也许再配上一块饼干，就没有解决不了的危机。
When preparing tea, there are rituals to be observed. Use boiling water and, if you must resort to tea bags, always add the milk last.
准备茶水时，还有固定的程序。要用烧开的水，如果你一定要用茶包的话，最后再加牛奶。
Failure to do so will result in such distress that it may take another cup of tea to calm everyone down again.
如果没做到这些，会让你感觉不舒服，也许需要再喝一杯茶来安慰大家。
6. Language
语言
If in doubt, mimic the body language.
如果有疑问，请模仿肢体语言。
Even if you're fluent in English, you may experience linguistic difficulties in the UK.
即使你英语流利，在英国也许还是会遇到语言困难。
Regional dialects vary extensively in the space of a few miles, resulting in bafflement even among locals.
相隔几英里的地方，方言就可能大不同，即使本地人也会感到迷惑。
If you can't understand what a British person is saying, it's fairly safe to assume it's either a). something about the weather (see climate above), or b). an apology.
如果你听不懂一个英国人在说什么，你可以放心做出两种假设，A，在谈论天气（参见之前的天气部分）；B，在道歉。
British people love apologizing: they're sorry to trouble you, sorry they can't be more helpful, sorry about the rain and sorry about invading your country in 1762, or whenever it was.
英国人喜欢道歉：他们很抱歉麻烦你，很抱歉不能帮你，很抱歉下雨了，很抱歉在1762年入侵了你的国家，总之任何时候都在道歉。
They also love apologizing when it's not even their fault: they're sorry that you bumped into them, sorry you knocked them to the floor and sorry that you are repeatedly thwacking them over the head and telling them to stop apologizing.
哪怕不是自己犯的错，他们也喜欢道歉：你碰到了他们，他们会道歉；你撞倒了他们，他们会道歉；你不停地拍他们的头让他们别道歉了，他们还是会道歉。
Be warned though, it's contagious.
不过要小心，这是会传染的。
7. Cuisine
菜肴
Britain's bland national diet has been revolutionized by South Asian migrants whose spicy concoctions are now firm favorites sold on every high street.
来自南亚的移民们给乏味的英国菜带来了革命，他们混合辣味的菜肴正在每条主要街道上热卖。
Meanwhile, pubs that once nourished customers with despondent sandwiches are now studded with Michelin stars.
同时，那些曾经只提供令人失望的三明治的酒吧，现在也有米其林星级认证了。
But don't be fooled.
不过别上当。
They might pretend to love fine dining, but when on the hoof, many Brits still prefer to fill their faces with offal and saturated fat.
他们也许假装喜欢正式的餐厅，但只要还活着，许多英国人依然更偏爱垃圾食品和饱和脂肪。
Few journeys are made within the United Kingdom that aren't catered with sausage rolls, Cornish pasties and Scotch eggs.
在英国境内的旅行，几乎都伴随着腊肠卷、康沃尔郡菜肉烘饼和苏格兰式煎蛋。
Visitors troubled by the sight of greasy meat should also be warned of three words that will strike fear -- if not full-blown cardiovascular seizures -- into their hearts: Full. English. Breakfast.
那些因为油腻的肉而烦恼的游客还要小心三个让你心生恐惧的词（如果没有心血管痉挛的话）：吃饱、英语、早餐。
8. Television
电视
Be sure to take time out from your travels to sample a few hours of British television, but seek not the polished period dramas that are easily exported to other countries.
一定要从你的旅行里抽出一些时间，看几个小时的英国电视，但不要选那些制作精良、容易被他国引进的历史剧。
Where British TV excels is in its celebration of the lives of ordinary, dare we say boring, citizens.
让英国电视脱颖而出的是它对普通人生活的歌颂。
The UK's three most popular soaps focus not on the beautiful or the damned, but on normal folk engaged in humdrum tasks like buying cheese, arguing about pottery or tending to their farms.
英国三部最受欢迎的肥皂剧关注的不是美好或丑恶，而是忙于单调任务的普通人。他们购买奶酪，争论陶器制造工艺，或者关注自己的农场。
