7.旧金山
Tony Bennett isn't the only one who left his heart in San Francisco. The City by the Bay has charm and style to spare: the taco joints and trendy boutiques of the Mission District; the Victorian mansions with breathtaking views of the bay in Pacific Heights; and Golden Gate Park, miles of winding trails leading to the famously scenic stretch of Golden Gate Bridge. But if you fail to leap off the fabled cable cars before they makes their fateful plunge down Hyde Street, you will end up in San Francisco's version of Times Square: Fisherman's Wharf.
托尼·本内特（Tony Bennett）并不是唯一留恋旧金山（San Francisco）的人。这个港湾城市有其独特的魅力和风格：处在与墨西哥的结合处，在教会区（Mission District）有时尚精品店，在维多利亚大厦（Victorian Mansion）可以看到太平洋高地（Pacific Heights）上壮观的港湾风景，还有金门公园（Golden Gate Park），穿过几英里的小道，就来到著名的金门大桥(Golden Gate Bridge)景观带。那里的电车沿着海德街（Hyde Street）行驶时经常颠簸，如果你没从传说中的电车上跌落下来，你就会来到旧金山版本的时代广场：渔人码头（Fisherman’s Wharf）。
Fisherman's Wharf is like the obnoxious, drunken, embarrassing cousin that showed up at San Francisco's family reunion. Need proof that you've fallen into a bona fide tourist trap? Look no further than the Ripley's Believe It Or Not! Odditorium, one of 30 outdated outposts of schlock that the good people at Ripley have erected in North America alone (would you be surprised to know there's also one in Niagara Falls?) Then there's Pier 39, the seaside strip mall where you can browse the wares at The Crystal Shop and The Crystal Shop II, or pick up a left-handed pair of scissors at Lefty's San Francisco, the Left Hand Store!
渔人码头就像是旧金山家族中那个讨厌的、醉醺醺的、又令人尴尬的堂兄弟。需要证据证明你已经落入善意的旅游陷阱了吗？不要再看“雷普利信不信由你奇人异事馆”了，它是由雷普利城（Pipley）的正直的人们在北美独自建的30个旧式的伪劣品展览地（你会奇怪在尼亚加拉瀑布也有一个这样的吗？）。还有39号码头（Pier 39），在这个海边商业带，你可以浏览水晶1店（Crystal Shop）和2店的商品，或者在“左撇子旧金山”（Lefty’s San Francisco），就是那个左撇子商店买到左手用的剪刀。
Before we bash Fisherman's Wharf completely, an acknowledgement. Many tourists travel to San Francisco assuming that the entire state of California is a sunny paradise, only to deplane at SFO in their shorts and T-shirts into a swirl of unpredictable fog and wind that would make Londoners shiver. For this reason and this reason alone, Fisherman's Wharf serves a purpose. There are nothing less than (this is only an estimate) 13,000 rinky-dink shops in Fisherman's Wharf selling San Francisco-themed sweatshirts, jackets, hats, scarves and full-body snowsuits. These shops save the lives of hundreds of pasty Midwesterners every year.
在我们怒斥渔人码头之前，要有一个认识。很多到旧金山旅游的人幻想着整个加州（California）都是阳光明媚的天堂，当他们穿着短裤和T恤衫下了飞机，才发现是进入到一个布满着不可预测的雾和风的漩涡之中，这景象让伦敦人也感到颤抖。因为这个原因，也只有这个原因，渔人码头才有一定的用处。有不少于13000家次品店(只是一个估计数)在兜售旧金山主题的卫衣、夹克衫、围巾和全身的防雪童装。这些商店每年养活了成百上千悲惨的中西部居民。
6.拉斯维加斯
Calling Las Vegas "touristy" is like calling Krispy Kreme donuts "unhealthy." That's sort of the point. Nearly 40 million people from around the world visited Las Vegas in 2011, and we venture to guess that not a single one of them chose this desert outpost of depravity for its authentic culture, historical significance or natural beauty. The hordes come to Vegas for the spectacle, the cheap buffets and hotel deals, and the long-shot prospect of not losing their children's college savings at the craps table.
如果说拉斯维加斯（Las Vegas）适合旅游的话，就好像在说卡卡圈坊（Krispy Kreme）的油炸圈不健康。事实确实如此， 2011年就有将近四千万人从世界各地去拉斯维加斯游玩。于是我们大胆地猜测，他们当中没有任何一个人是为了本土文化、史学意义或者自然美景而选择来到这个堕落的沙漠哨站。人们成群结队来到拉斯维加斯是因为它的奇观异景、廉价的自助餐和酒店服务以及在赌桌上娱乐却不至于输掉孩子上大学的费用。
The 590,000 full-time residents of Las Vegas might disagree, but this is a city whose sole purpose and function is to suck the money out of the wallets of wide-eyed tourists. Exhibit A: gambling revenue in Clark County, Nevada -- home to greater Las Vegas -- was more than $9.2 billion in 2011. Exhibit B: Nosebleed seats to see Donny and Marie Osmond -- who haven't had a hit song together since the Carter Administration -- run more than $100. Exhibit C: Several travel articles about Las Vegas warn visitors to explicitly tell their airport cab driver not to take the I-15 connector tunnel to get to a hotel on the Strip in an effort to run up the fare. What a town!
但是，拉斯维加斯的5.9万常住居民不同意这一点，他们认为这个城市的唯一目标和功能就是吸干天真的游客口袋里的钞票。例证A：为了更好地建设拉斯维加斯而在内华达州克拉克县（Clark County，Nevada）开设的赌城，光2011年的收入就超过了92亿。例证B：虽然唐尼（Donny）和玛丽·奥斯蒙德（Marie Osmond）在卡特政府期间没出过一首热门歌曲，但是观看他们演唱会的最佳座位却卖到了100美元以上。例证C：许多有关拉斯维加斯的旅游文章都警告游客，要明确告诉机场出租车司机不要通过I-15隧道去酒店以避免昂贵的打车费用。这是多么邪恶的一个城镇啊。
Be careful about trying to play Vegas on the cheap, though. How, you may wonder, can an all-you-can-eat buffet with more than 50 items cost only $11 per person? Do you really want to know?
然而，想要低消费游览拉斯维加斯必须要小心。你或许在想，怎样才可以只花11美元就能品尝到种类超过50种的自助餐呢？你真的想知道么？
5.佛罗里达州的奥兰多
More people visited Orlando, Fla. in 2011 -- 55.1 million -- than any other city in the United States. We always assumed people flocked by the millions to central Florida for the indigenous rock formation exhibit at the Orange County Regional History Center. But maybe these Disney folks play a small role. Entirely by coincidence, the number of estimated visitors to Disney's four Orlando mega-theme parks and two water parks was more than 51 million in 2011.
去佛罗里达州的奥兰多(Orlando, Fla.)游览的人越来越多，仅在2011年，就有5510万人，超过了其他所有的美国城市。我们一直以为数以百万计的人去佛罗里达州是为了欣赏奥兰治历史中心的岩石层展览,而去迪士尼的游玩的人可能仅仅只占了小部分。完全巧合的是，2011年预测去奥兰多迪士尼的四大主题公园和两个水上公园的游客人数就超过了5100万。
Much like Vegas exists to drain the bank accounts of gullible amateur gamblers, Disney's Orlando empire exists to drain the bank accounts of parents with small children, who must shell out big to go through acres of product placement-themed attractions, only to see their offspring melt into pools of tears when a dude in a Goofy costume tries to slap them five during the two-hour wait for Magic Mountain. Anyone with small children instinctively knows that hot weather, tons of sugary food, long lines and insanely overblown expectations equals parenting hell. But try explaining that to your 6-year-old in the princess costume.
就像拉斯维加斯的赌城是为了吸干业余赌徒的银行存款，奥兰多的迪士尼则是为了花光所有带有小孩子的父母的银行积蓄，他们花钱穿过几英亩以广告为主题的景点，在等待进去魔术山的两个小时中，当一个傻傻的穿着戏服的家伙试图与孩子击掌时，只看到自己的孩子融化成泪池。任何父母都知道炎热的天气、高糖分的食物、大排长龙的队伍和夸大的希望好比是为人父母的地狱。但是，这些又怎么跟穿着公主服的六岁孩子说呢？
At $89 per ticket for anyone over age 10, a family of four will pay well over $1,000 just to enter the half-dozen Disney parks over three days. Add the cost of lodging, meals and souvenirs from said theme parks and you're looking at a very pricey vacation.
迪士尼的门票并不便宜，十岁以上的人，每张票89美元。所以三天进入六个迪士尼公园，一个四口之家光门票就要花费1000多美元。再加上住宿、吃饭以及主题公园的纪念品，这将是一个非常昂贵的假期。
If Disney isn't your thing, don't worry. Universal Studios, SeaWorld and Busch Gardens are right across the street. But the prices are about the same. For a lower budget experience, try the Weeki Wachee Mermaid Show at $13 a head.
如果你不喜欢迪士尼，别担心，环球影城（Universal Studios）、海洋世界（SeaWorld）和布希花园（Busch Garden）就在街道的对面，但是价格却与迪士尼一样昂贵。如果你的预算很低，那就试试Weeki Wachee的美人鱼表演吧，每人只需要13美元。
4.加利福尼亚的好莱坞
Visiting Hollywood is a lot like meeting a famous movie star in person: It's smaller, older, much less attractive and far more obnoxious that you had imagined. The word "Hollywood" is synonymous with glamour, stardom and the celebrity-soaked movie industry, whereas the real Hollywood is just a seedy neighborhood in the middle of Los Angeles populated by celebrity impersonators, double-decker tour buses and wax museums. Oh, and a Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie museum.
参观好莱坞更像是亲自去会见著名的影星。他们比你想得更矮小、更显老、更无趣以及更加令人厌恶。“好莱坞”这个词代表着魅力、明星和名流扎堆的电影业。然而真实的好莱坞则是明星模仿者们的天堂，由双层观光巴士和蜡像馆组成的无趣街区。噢，对了，还有弗雷德里克（Frederick）的好莱坞内衣博物馆。
As everyone trying to sell tickets to their walking tour will tell you, Hollywood used to be the epicenter of moviemaking in the first half of the 20th century, when most major studios built their lots and soundstages in the vicinity of the famous intersection of Hollywood and Vine. Some landmarks still exist from that golden age, including the Roosevelt Hotel and Grauman's Chinese Theatre, which both opened their doors in 1927. But most tourists crowd the sidewalk along the 2-mile (3.2 kilometer) stretch of Hollywood Blvd. for one thing and one thing only: the Walk of Fame.
好莱坞在20世纪上半叶曾是电影制作业的中心，后来大多数主流的工作室将制片厂和摄影棚建在了著名的好莱坞大道和葡萄藤大道岔路口附近，而黄金时代那些地标建筑继续保留在原址，其中包括都开业于1927年的罗斯福酒店（the Roosevelt Hotel）和格劳曼中国剧院（ Grauman’s Chinese Theatre）。每个人都想把其他景点的票卖了,只为一次”徒步路行”。大多数游客聚集在沿着好莱坞大道方圆2英里的范围，这些都告诉你，他们只有一个目的：去星光大道瞅瞅。
Is there a more underwhelming tourist attraction in the world than the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Why do people travel halfway around the world to stand on the name of a semi-famous person while a dude dressed like Lady Gaga hounds you to take his picture? There are more than 2,000 names etched into the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and odds are you know 57 of them. If you're 18 or younger, you know about three. Now who's up for lunch at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.?
世界上还有比好莱坞星光大道更无聊的景点吗？为什么人们横穿大半个地球来这，站在一个早已不知道什么年代的名人名字旁？为什么旁边模仿Lady Gaga的家伙拼命要你为她拍照？超过2000个名字刻在星光大道上，但你认识的可能不超过60个，如果你还未成年，能认识3个就已经不错了。现在你还准备买去星光大道的机票吗？
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