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What are the most profound jokes ever?
有哪些笑话很有内涵？
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
一个小男孩走进一家理发店，这时理发师悄悄对顾客说：“这是天底下最傻的孩子，我来证明给你看。”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
理发师在一只手上放了一美元，另一只手上放了两个25美分的硬币，然后把男孩叫过来，问道：“孩子，你想要哪个？”男孩拿走了两个25美分的硬币然后离开了。
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
理发师说道：“瞧我刚刚跟你说了啥？这孩子从不会吸取教训！”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
过了一会儿，顾客离开的时候，他看到那个男孩从冰淇淋店走了出来。
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
“诶，孩子，我能问你个问题吗？你为什么拿走美分硬币而不是美元？”
The boy licked his cone and replied,"Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
男孩舔了舔冰淇淋然后答道：“因为等我拿走了美元，这个游戏就结束了。”
Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse!
悲观主义者：天哪，这件事已经糟糕到头了。
Optimist: Yes, it can!
乐观主义者：不，这件事还能更糟。
Lawyer:To prove that my client was home alone, I would like to present my client's internet search history from that evening.
律师：为了证明我的委托人案发当时独自在家，我想呈上委托人在当晚的网络浏览记录。
Client: I'd rather just confess to the murder.
委托人：那我宁可承认我就是凶手。
The CIA receives a serious bomb threat to Air Force One. Taking no chances, they call in a senior partner from McKinsey. After much deliberation he hands over a bag and requests that it is always present on the plane. This, he says, would reduce the risk. This trick seems to work so the CIA decide to open the bag. They discover a bomb in his bag. The partner explains. "Statistics show that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs on one plane is 1/1000000. So, plane is much safer..."
中情局接到一个紧急的炸弹恐吓，说是在空军一号上。在毫无办法的情况下，他们向麦肯锡公司的一名资深合伙人求助。在一阵深思熟虑之后，合伙人给出一个包裹并且要求一定要把它放在飞机上。他说，这可以降低风险。这个办法看似很有效，所以中情局决定打开包裹看看，结果在里面发现了一枚炸弹。合伙人解释说：“数据显示，一架飞机上有一枚炸弹的几率是千分之一，但是一架飞机上有两枚炸弹的可能性是百万分之一，所以，这样飞机就更安全了······”
