1. You need to be more careful with your money
1. 花钱需谨慎
Everyone has different ideas about what is important enough to spend on. It can be impossible for one person to understand the consuming habits of another. If your daughter-in-law likes saving up for elaborate holidays, and it worries you that she is wasting money that she could be saving, you should probably not share your concerns with her. Money is a touchy subject.
每个人对花钱的概念都不一样,所以一个人很难理解另一个人的消费习惯。如果你的儿媳喜欢将省出来的钱都用在假期上,而你却觉得她把该省的钱都挥霍一空,或许你不应该将这一想法告诉她,毕竟金钱是个敏感话题。
2. Homeschooling is a waste of time
2. 在家自学无异于浪费时间
As with politics, people often have fundamentally different ways of looking at education. People tend to passionately believe in the homeschool method, in preschool, magnet schools or a number of other options.
如政治一样,人们对教育也有着截然不同的看法。人们往往热衷于在家自学法、上幼儿园、有吸引力的学校或其它选择。
If either you or your daughter-in-law has an unconventional idea about how children should learn, you should simply let the subject be dropped. Conversations about the superiority of different systems can quickly slip into bitterness.
如果你或者你的儿媳对孩子的学习方式持非传统观念,这个话题应点到为止,因为就不同教育系统的优越性展开的对话会很快陷入困境。
3. Haven't the children had enough TV time today?
3. 孩子今天看电视的时间还不够多吗?
Discussions of child-raising techniques can be a minefield. People tend to have very different ideas about what works, how much discipline to use, what constitutes spoiling and what kind of diet makes sense. Since grandparents are usually present in a supporting role and not to establish policy, it is best to trust the parents and to not take up the merits of various techniques for discussion.
育儿手段绝对是对话雷区。人们对有效的育儿方式、规矩的设定、宠溺的概念及合理的饮食往往有着不同的观点。因为爷爷奶奶大多充当的是溺爱型角色,且不会对孩子讲规矩,所以这时候他们应相信父母的判断,不要就'不同育儿手段有着不同优点'的话题再谈论下去了。
4. We see too little of the kids
4. 我们和孙子/女见面的次数太少了
While there is nothing wrong with thinking of ways to see more of your grandkids, it is important to realize that the parents decide how much the grandparents will be involved. Before you bring up that you see too little of your grandkids, you should try to ask about the kind of policy that your son and daughter-in-law have about grandparental involvement.
虽然想办法多见见孙子/女并没有什么不妥,但意识到这一点很重要:爷爷奶奶和孙子/女的相处时间是由父母决定的。在提及与孙子/女的相处时间太短之前,你应该先问问儿子和儿媳有关相处时间的设定。
5. You are going to name the baby what?
5. 你打算给宝宝起什么名字?
It's very easy for grandparents to hate an unconventional name and to say something snippy about it. Each generation has its own ideas about what kinds of names are attractive. Making a disapproving comment can cause a lasting setback to a relationship. It is best to simply accept whatever name the parents decide on.
爷爷奶奶很容易对非传统的名字产生反感,并说些令人不快的话。每代人对好听的名字都有着自己的见解。对名字持不赞成意见可能会导致关系的不和睦。最好的做法便是接受父母的取名。
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