Topic（题目）：

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.

Target text（文章正文）:

Teachers play an important role in the development of students, both physically and psychologically. They deserve to be well paid because of their indispensable contribution to the students. It may seems natural to assess a teacher and decide how much salary he or she should get by evaluating the students' performance. But personally, I disagree to the statement that "teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform"

First of all, it is always very difficult to evaluate a student properly. Strange as this assertion may seems, many factors can account for it. Nowadays we are used to assessing a student by forcing them to take examinations. But some excellent students are just not good at it. High grades require test-taking skills which is not very vital in daily life. Albert Einstein, who is generally regarded as the best physicist in 20th century, ironically can’t pass his tests sometimes during his primary-level education. Some people may argue that we can evaluate a student without stupid examinations. Admittedly, we can estimate students by observing their daily behavior closely. But this method is far from being feasible. Based on the fact that it remains difficult to evaluate students comprehensively, why should we decide how much teachers should be paid according to the dubious evaluation?

Another fact is that education may go astray if teachers are paid according to how well their students perform. If teachers'salaries hinge on students' grades, test-oriented education may come into existence. But if we focus on how well students perform in social activities, some teachers may neglect imparting knowledge, which is also what we do not expect to see. The best way to avoid these problems is separate teachers'salary from students' behavior.

Another reason why I object this opinion is that sometimes students behave bad not because of bad teachers. Some students just lack the talent to study. Some may have poor family education. Their teachers are irresponsible for their performance, thus it is unfair to cut down these teachers'salaries.

All in all, I believe it is a dubious idea to pay the teachers according to their students'behavior.

Revised essay（批改后）：

Teachers play an important role in the development of students, both physically and psychologically. They deserve to be well paid because of their indispensable contribution to the students. [这个引题很合理，不错] It may seems natural to assess a teacher and decide how much salary he or she should get by evaluating the students' performance. But personally, I disagree to [with] the statement that "teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform"

First of all, it is always very difficult to evaluate a student properly. Strange as this assertion may seems, many factors can account for it. Nowadays we are used to assessing a student by forcing them to take examinations. [不必用这种词，有些夸张了。直接说a student with examinations] But some excellent students are just not good at it. High grades require test-taking skills which is not very vital in daily life. Albert Einstein, who is generally regarded as the best physicist in[the] 20th century, ironically can't [could not] pass his tests sometimes during his primary-level education. Some people may argue that we can evaluate a student without stupid examinations. Admittedly, we can estimate students by observing their daily behavior closely. But this method is far from being feasible. Based on the fact that it remains difficult to evaluate students comprehensively, why should we decide how much teachers should be paid according to the dubious evaluation? [这个观点不错，论述也有道理]

Another fact is that education may go astray if teachers are paid according to how well their students perform. If teachers' salaries hinge on students' grades, test-oriented education may come into existence. But if we focus on how well students perform in social activities, some teachers may neglect imparting knowledge, which is also what we do not expect to see. The best way to avoid these problems is separate teachers' salary from students' behavior. [这个观点也不错]

Another reason why I object this opinion is that sometimes students behave bad [-ly] not because of bad teachers. Some students just lack the talent to study. Some may have poor family education. Their teachers are irresponsible for their performance, thus it is unfair to cut down these teachers'salaries.

All in all, I believe it is a dubious idea to pay the teachers according to their students' behavior. [观点很不错，结尾也很简洁，不错]

TPO小站综合点评及批改意见：

观点很不错，说服力也比较强。

论据之间的衔接还需继续增强，表达亮点也需积累。

语法错误不多，注意选词要妥当。

预估分数：4.4

学习建议：

1、尽量多阅读范文，模仿好的文章中作者阐述论证观点的方式。

2、多阅读不同类型话题的文章，积累专业作家针对不同话题的观点内容。

3、可以多引用别人的观点内容。

4、阅读范文过程中，注意作者如何反向论证观点。