Friend 2: Well because she has to.
Friend 1: Bennie, Bennie, check the wall of truth. There is something disgusting and horrible
about every girl on the A list, unfortunately you wont find anything pornographic about Ronda
Green.
Ben: Stinky Sullivan is a hunk!
Stinky: I wrote that. Wait till the girls read it.
Friend 1: Think stinky. When will the girls be in this room?
Stinky: When they use the bathroom.
Friend 2: Bennie, look, you can go out with her if you want. But you might as well become a
hall monitor.
Ben: Hall monitor. Me! I had to tell her that this date was off.

Ben: But how do you break a girls heart when she looks so cute holding her nose from the
stench? I know, I'll phone her. Rhonda, before you get mad at me for not meeting you at the
dumpster, I got to tell you something. The reason I cant go out with you this Friday
is… because, I'm gay. Hey that will spare her feelings and keep me out of the army.
Mike: Hey Bennie.
Ben: Hi.
Mike: What are you doing?
Ben: Nothing.
Mike: Is your but making a phone call?
Ben: Mike, I'm a dead man. There's this girl who asked she's and me out not on the A list. And
if I go out with her I'm in terrible trouble. I'm at the end of my rope.

(Back to present)
Jason: Ben we want to know why you want to go out with this girl and you are telling us
ridiculous stories about not wanting to go out with her.
Ben: I was just getting to that.
Jason: Well get to it.
Ben: Ok. Well that's when mike got involved.
Mike: Wow.
Jason: Wait a minute Mike. Get back here.
Mike: No, I'm not responsible for this little guy. I mean I don't even like him. Whatever he
does, he does., I have no influence on his life what so ever.
Maggie: Mike, you better talk and talk now. What have you got to say?
Mike: I really, really, really love you guys.
Ben: Forget it mike. It's a tough room.
Mike: Ok, ok, I'll tell you everything and I wont hold back. How much have you told them? Ok,
alright. Now little Bennie came to me with a very tough problem. Now I could have ducked it,
but no. I asked myself what my father would have said in this situation. Only I'd make it
shorter and a little more interesting.

(Flashback)
Mike: Ben, what are you all bent out of shape for? I mean look, lets face it, you are never
going to date a girl on the A list. You'd be lucky to date a girl in band.
Ben: Mike, if you are going to say stuff like that, I might as well go talk to dad.
Mike: You're butts off the hook.
Ben: Thanks for nothing Mike.
Mike: Hey Ben. Look. Who ever told you that this girl was unworthy?
Ben: Veto, Harry and Stinky.
Mike: Ignore them.
Ben: You're telling me to ignore my friends?
Mike: No, I'm telling you to get some new friends. I mean think Bennie. Somehow, some girl
finds you vaguely attractive, and you are about to turn her down!
Ben: Well,
Mike: Look, let me put it this way. Did Mr. Hailey say I'll wait for the next comet?

(Present)
Maggie: Ben, it actually happened that way?
Ben: Yeah.
Jason: I don't know what to say. You really told him not to buckle to peer pressure? To stand
up to his friends and do the right thing?
Mike: Yeah. And besides, if she's really desperate, the weenie might get lucky.
Jason: Get out Mike.
Ben: Well I've certainly learned my lesson. I'll never talk to mike again.
Maggie: Ben, the date.
Ben: Oh yeah.
Maggie: Ben!
Ben: I'm waiting for the ripple.

(Flash back)
Cinema: I think we're lost Mindy. This maze is so confusing. We're never going to get out of
here.
Ronda: Ben, you really like the fuzzy wuzzy bears?
Ben: Yeah, they're cool.
Ronda: Wouldn't it be more fun to go over to cinema four and see Wild At Heart?
Ben: No. Excessive sex and violence upsets me. Violence anyway.
Cinema: I love you Windy bear.
Veto: There they are. Just like I said.
Harry: I can't believe it.
Children: Shhh! Quiet.
Ben: Oh!
Ronda: What's wrong?
Ben: Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. Pick up some raisonettes. What are you guys
doing at a G rated movie?
Harry: What are you doing with Ronda Green?
Ben: She's here too.
Veto: Nice try Bennie. So you guys think that he should wear that hall monitor sash over his
left shoulder or his right?
Ben: (in his mind) I was cornered. I was dead. My honor was at stake. So I lied.
Ben: You guys have got it all wrong about Ronda. She's the kinda girl who makes guys happy.
If you know what I mean. I'd say more but there are little fuzzy bears on the screen.
Harry: but she looks so moral.
Ben: Look, I don't care what you guys think, cos I'm happy. Ha ha ha ha ha h a!
Ben: (in his mind) The next couple of hours were a blur. All I am sure of is by the time Ronda
bought me that second chilidog later that night, we were going steady. I had no idea that one
lie could spread so fast. It changed my life so much. People were looking at me. And they
weren't laughing.
Kids: Applause. Bennie, Bennie!
Ben: (in his mind) For the first time in the history of Dewey High, a freshman's name had
been added to the wall of truth. My name. I was sincerely touched. By the end of the first
week, she'd moved into my locker. It was a little inconvenient, but I didn't mind, cos everyone
at the school was now treating me with respect. Including janitor bob. He even let me touch
his keys.

(Present)
Jason: So you are going out with a girl that you don't even like just to keep your friends
fooled?
Ben: Yeah. Now you see.
Jason: Alright, do you plan on marrying the girl, just to keep up the charade Ben?
Ben: No, see in three years I graduate. Then there's always the army.
Jason: You see this is really out there.
Ben: Hey, it's not all bad. Mrs. Green is a great cook.
Maggie: You eat dinner there too?
Ben: Yeah, but only after I eat dinner here first.
Jason: Ben!
Ben: Hey, it's their way of thanking me for doing all those chores.

Maggie: But that's another thing Ben. When was the last time you did a chore around here?
Ben: Its just I'm always so tired.
Jason: I guess so.
Ben: And about fixing his transmission, I got lucky.
Maggie: Well your luck just ran out Ben.
Jason: This cannot go on.
Ben: What did I do that was really wrong?
Maggie: Dating a girl we never met.
Jason: Going steady with a girl we haven't met.
Maggie: When you aren't allowed to go steady in the first place.
Jason: Sneaking out of this house forty two times without permission.
Maggie: Eating two dinners every night.
Ben: How's that wrong?
Maggie: It's wrong. It's just wrong.
Jason: And what about all the rumors you are starting about this girl?
Ben: You don't have to worry about the rumours dad. I made them up.
Jason: Ben has it occurred to you that you might be damaging this girls reputation?
Ben: I don't see how. She's on the A list now.
Jason: So what do you think you should do now?
Ben: I don't know. I know its not having dinner.

(And so the next morning)
Ronda's father: Here Robbie. Eh do we have a dog.
Ronda: No.
Ronda's father: If we did I'd call it Robbie. Ben, you knuckle head! How long have you been
here?
Ben: Since dawn.
Ronda: Then why didn't you say something? We could have got an early start on digging the
pool.
Ben: Mr. Green, is Ronda home?
Ronda: Yeah, but she's not much good with a shovel. Mighty handy with a pick axe though.
Like I need to tell you. Ha ha ha ha.
Ben: Can I talk to her?
Ronda: f Sure. Come in and have some breakfast.
Ben: Um no, I cant I already ate.
Ronda: So.
Ben: It's wrong. I can't tell you why, it's just wrong. Can I speak to Ronda?
Ronda: I got you. You devil. Ronda, your boyfriend's here. Hey, we do have a dog. Come
here Robbie. Come on fellow. Ho ho ho. Doggie noogies, doggie noogies. I love this little knucklehead. Hey Ronda, look who's here.
Ben: (in his head) How am I going to explain this to her? Ok, I've got no choice. I've got to be
honest. I'll tell her I'm not attracted to her, I never was attracted to her, and the only reason
I'm dating her is because my friends believe my lies about her.
Ronda: (in her head) Oh, what's he doing here this early? This is the last straw. Today is the
day I tell him that the only reason I went out with him was to get on the A list.
Ronda: Ben.
Ben: Ronda.
Ben and Ronda (in their heads): It's now or never.
Ben: Look I know I'm here early, I don't want breakfast. Do you want to break up?
Ronda: I'm not hungry either. Great, let's break up.
Ben: When?
Ronda: Now's good.
Ben: Ok, see you in school.
Ronda: See you in school.
Ben: (in his head) For the first time in six weeks, she's made me happy.
Ronda: (in her head) Me too.