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This may sound strange but for years I've pretended to be married.
My wife beats me in front of my kids.
No!
I know how wrong it is. But there is no strings attached and nobody gets hurt.
Once we get married, I think she'd stop talking.
Can you put this wedding band on a true heart?
That's what it feels like!
I swear to God, I can see myself ended up with this girl.
Did you say what I think you just said?
How about I take your number and you can take me out on a proper birthday?
I've got a business card in my pocket.
What's this?
A circle?
Just tell her truth.
Let me practice; you'll be her.
Oh good, okay, hold on.
Anyways, I wear this fake wedding ring.
You are a pig.
I uh…
Just tell her you're getting a divorce.
It' s over. We're gonna sign the papers in a couple of days, and...
OK, I just need to hear it from her.
You wanna, ur...? What do you mean?
I need to meet her.
How about if she texts you? Would that be good?
I cannot believe I'm doing this.
I wanna create the illusion I had a hot first wife, not like this.
OK, come on, let's go.
Is that her?
Hello Boring.
Why are you wearing that.
I'm just playing the part.
I give you my blessing.
I have to twitter all my friends.
Oh gosh, I forgot, you are 15.
Ou, Did you just kick me?
No, did you? Did you kick her? Why did you kick her?
From Colombia pictures.
Hello, honey, you know how I feel about your selling your brother's stuff on eBay.
Hey, hey, hey, take that in the car.
You would think,
You have kids?
We have sort of a little bit of children, right?
Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston.
My kids? Have you completely lost your mind?
My pride and joy Kiki D. and Mark,
Hi, you guys.
Oh, that man put his peepee on my face.
He put his face on my peepee.
Danny!
Just go with it.
Yeah, I'd create a fake family for that.
Give me some fake hugs right now and laugh aloud.
I will be there in a minute, OK?
