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Joey: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
不准这样，还住在我屋里，就得守规矩。
Monica: What?
什么？
Joey: Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it.
就算我知道内幕，也不代表我喜欢看你们亲热。
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
你试镜不是还有一小时才结束？
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition!
很抱歉我不是中年黑人妇女，而且还走错试镜场地。
Joey: Ok, look, if I have to pretend that I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretendthere's nothing to know about.
你们要我假装不知道，就得假装你们没怎样。
Chandler and Monica: Ok. Sorry. Sorry.
好。抱歉，对不起。
Joey: I can hear that!
我听到了！
Monica: Rachel's at work.
瑞秋还在上班。
Joey: I can still hear you!
我还是听得到。
Phoebe: Hey!
嗨！
Chandler: Hello!
嗨！
Joey: Hey!
嗨！
Monica: Hey, what's that?
那是什么？
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother.
我妈寄给我的原属于外婆的祖传宝物。
Phoebe: Can you believe it? ! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
你们相信吗？一年前我连家人都没有，现在竟然有祖传家产！
Chandler: Well, the heirloom I ever got was a feather boa. Got it from my dad. He got it from his dad. How did I ever get born?
我小时只有一条羽毛围巾，我爷爷传给我老爸再传给我，真不知道我是怎么出生的。
Phoebe: Eeeee- ohh! God!
天啊！
Joey: Argh-argh! Ooh, soft. Is this mink?
好软。这是貂皮吗？
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all?
对，我妈为何寄皮草给我？她完全不了解我吗？
Phoebe: Plus, I-I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
我已经有外套了，而且还没牺牲任何可怜动物。
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. That didn't happen, I made that up!
只不过是时薪12分钱的，九岁菲律宾童工卖命做的。别听我的，我胡说的。
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Gunther: Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.
罗斯，你不能在这里贴广告。
Ross: How come? Everybody else does.
为什么？别人都可以。
Gunther: You can't.
就是你不行。
Monica: What is that?
什么东西？
Ross: Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.
我要处理掉一些家具。
Monica: This is all of your things.
这可是你的所有家当。
Ross: Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it's- Emily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. You know brand new.
没错，没关系，艾蜜莉说我们应该买新家具。光属于我们俩的家具，也就是全新的东西。
Monica: So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-touched sale.
基本上这是 “瑞秋碰过家具”大拍卖。
Ross: Touched. Used. Sat on. Slept on.
摸过、用过、坐过、睡过都不行。
Gunther: I'll take it all.
我全买了。
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're ok with that?
罗斯，你不反对？
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
只要顺着艾蜜莉，她来纽约后就没事了。
Chandler: Ok, but don't you think this is a little extreme?
但是这种做法也太极端了吧？
Ross: After what I did? Can you blame her?
毕竟我说错名字，你能怪她吗？
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
你已经算轻松了。我朋友席薇的老公在床上喊错名字，结果遭到了她最恶毒的诅咒，那玩意都变绿了。
Ross: I guess I'm lucky Emily is not magic.
幸好艾蜜莉不会法术。
Phoebe: Oh, she is. We all are.
她会，我们都会。
Joey: What is he doing? What, Emily thinks Ross's furniture's got Rachel cooties?
他这是做什么？艾蜜莉觉得罗斯的家具，会沾上瑞秋的虱子吗？
Monica: Calm down, Joey.
乔伊，别激动。
Joey: No! Everything's getting all messed up, you know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
我偏要，事情搞得乱七八糟！艾蜜莉不准罗斯见瑞秋，可是我们会继续见瑞秋，因此罗斯再也不能见我们。
Phoebe: Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing.
我也不开心，一切都变了。
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence...
我知道，我们不能再见罗斯，乔伊还会用“因此”……
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but, you know if-if Ross says he's happy then, we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
我也不高兴，但是如果罗斯能开心。我们不该说出自己对艾蜜莉的心情，大家愿意吗？
Joey: No! But you know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool. Probably be some of the hardest acting I've ever done. Maybe I'll play it with a mustache.
不要，不过我是演员。我可以装得无所谓，这真是我演过最难的戏，我应该装上假胡须演。
Rachel: Ohh, whoa, God! Storage rooms give me the creeps! Monica, come on please hurry up honey! Please?
天啊，我怕死储藏室了。亲爱的，请快点！
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
瑞秋，你要吃小圆松饼，就得让我先找到煎盘。
Rachel: I want the little round waffles.
我想吃小圆松饼。
Monica: All right. Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of a poison?
找到了，就在杀虫药下面。锅碗瓢盆怎么可以放在毒药下面？
Rachel: Ok, you know what? I'll-I'll have toast!
好吧，我吃土司就好了。
Rachel: Arghhhh! !
啊啊啊！
Monica: Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him!
天啊，喷他喷他！
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
我不知道该如何处置这件皮草。
Joey: I'll take it!
可以给我！
Phoebe: That might work!
好主意！
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah!
哦哈哈哈，真好！
Joey: Enh? All right, what do you think?
怎样？你们觉得如何？
Chandler: You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli.
五分钟后换你上台，明妮莉小姐。
Ross: No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all right. Bye.
不……只是有点突然，其实我很高兴，也全力赞成。我也爱你，好，再见。
Joey: What's the matter Ross?
怎么了，罗斯？
Ross: Nothing. No-no, Oh-ah, actually, great news! Um, I just got off the phone with Emily and looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
没事，其实是件好消息。我刚跟艾蜜莉通过电话，看来我要搬家了。
Phoebe: Why?
为什么？
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment?
她认为……而且我也同意，既然要换崭新家具，干脆换间公寓。
Ross: Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
她表妹有个地方要分租。一边可以看到河，一边可以看到哥伦比亚。
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
那是上城很远的地方，大概要转搭三站火车。太棒了！我喜欢搭火车。
Chandler: So, you're really ok with this?
你真的同意？
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kind of far from work, but uh, you know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
当然，离上班地点是有点远，但是我路上就有很多时间。她算是送了我一份大礼，那就是时间。
Chandler: Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum.
有意思，上次圣诞节，我得到很多空间。你和我的加起来就有个小宇宙了。
Joey: Now he's moving? Man, what is Emily doing to him? Ow! He's not even here!
现在还要搬家？艾蜜莉到底做了什么？他又不在这里！
Rachel: You guys! You guys!
大家听我们说！
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
我们刚刚去储藏室，看到一个很可怕的人。
Rachel: It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a Bigfoot or a yeti or something!
眼神凶残，全身毛茸茸。就像大脚哈利或喜马拉雅雪人。
Monica: And he, he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
而且他还拿着斧头，瑞秋只好拿杀虫药喷他。
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!
我拉开拉环拼命喷他！
Joey: Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard?
深色头发，满脸胡须？
Rachel: Yeah!
对。
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
你们喷的是丹尼。
Rachel: Oh! Please! We did not fog Danny! Who's Danny?
拜托，才不是丹尼。丹尼是谁？
Joey: Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nicefella.
丹尼刚搬到楼下，那家伙去安地斯山四个月，才刚回国，人很好。
Monica: Oh he's nice. He's nice! You know, you always stick up for the people we fog!
什么人很好……每次我们喷谁，你就帮他说话。
Danny: Yeah?
什么事？
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
嗨，你大概不记得，我们就是上次喷你的人。
Monica: We're-we're really sorry we fogged you.
我们很抱歉乱喷一通。
Monica and Rachel: Yeah.
是的。
Danny: Ok.
没事。
Rachel: Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we-we actually thought you were like a yeti or something.
嗨，我们只是要告诉你我们不是故意的，我们以为你是雪人或是怪物。
Danny: Ok.
好。
Danny: Yesss?
什么事？
Rachel: Hi! Sorry you bother you, but I don't think that we can accept your acceptance of our apology, you're just, just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
嗨，抱歉打扰你，但是你接受我们道歉的态度让我们很难接受。听起来一点也不真心。
Monica: Yeah.
对。
Danny: O-kay!
没事。
Monica: Wow! The guy is so rude!
那家伙真恶劣！
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
没错，他哪里有病？换做我喷你，你早就原谅我了。
Monica: Well you did a little bit.
其实你有喷到一点点。
Rachel: Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry!
天啊，我很抱歉！
Monica: I totally forgive you!
我完全不介意！
Rachel: Really?
真的？
Monica: Yes.
是的。
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Monica: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?
你知道我那个开火葬场的，朋友克里斯吧？
Monica: Crematorium Chris? Sure!
火葬场那个克里斯？当然。
Phoebe: Well, he said, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, you know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
他说他愿意免费帮我烧皮草，只要我介绍下个要死的朋友去那里火化。
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts!
天啊……好漂亮的皮草！
Monica: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
别太喜欢，她要烧掉了。
Rachel: What? Phoebe, ah-huh, honey, honey I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do, actually...
什么？亲爱的菲比，我知道你很怪，大家平时也欣赏你这点……
Rachel: But if you destroy a coat like this I mean that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
但是你毁掉这么棒的皮草，实在是不合天理。说错了，是有违时尚流行！
Phoebe: This is fashion? ! Ok, so to you, death is fashion? ! That's really funny.
这叫做流行？尸体叫做流行？实在有意思。
Phoebe: Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, you know, cutting edge hairy carcass from you know, the-the steel traps of wintry Russia.
接下来菲比为各位展示，最新的毛茸茸尸体。这些动物死于寒冷的俄罗斯。
Phoebe: I mean, you really think this looks good? Cause I do!
你们真认为好看？因为我觉得不赖！
Ross: I know, I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye.
我也想念你，希望快点见到你。我爱你，再见。
Chandler: Ok, what is in here? Rocks?
里面是什么？石头吗？
Ross: No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.
不，我收集的化石样本。
Chandler: So, rocks.
就是石头嘛。
Ross: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. You know, Ben, Ben took his first steps right over there.
我一定会想念这里，小班就在那边学会走路。
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing and it kinda knocked me out a little?
记不记得我上次撞到这里，还因此昏倒？
Ross: I loved this place! Tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
我很喜欢这间公寓。老实说，我真希望别搬家。
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
你的意思是你也不想走？
Ross: Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice...
如果艾蜜莉给我选择的机会……
Joey: You do have a choice! Aw, Ross, why are you listening to her? ! Are you, are you crazy? !
你本来就有机会。罗斯，你为什么要听她的？你疯了吗？
