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Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
丑陋裸男在装饰他的树。天啊，你该瞧瞧他圣诞球的大小！
Joey: Hey. - Chandler & Rachel: Hey.
嗨。-嗨。
Joey: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
你们今年给管理员多少红包？
Chandler: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
是啊，我们打算给50，不过我们不想显得比你们小器。
Monica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
今年我们送他自己做的饼干。
Chandler: And twenty-five it is.
那就包25块好了。
Joey: You gave him cookies?
你们送他饼干？
Monica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares...All right, we're broke, but cookies do say that.
给钱太见外了，饼干表示我们关心他。好吧，我们没钱，但饼干也能表达这个意思。
Phoebe: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
我了解。曾有盘巧克力糕告诉我一首打油诗。
Chandler: Pheebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
菲比，请问你，那些是“搞笑的”巧克力糕吗？
Phoebe: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
并不特别啊。但我觉得里面有大麻。
Ross: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
两位，你们还送了谁饼干？
Rachel: Uhh, the mailman, the super...
邮差，管理员…
Monica: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
还有那个送报纸的。
Joey: Oh my God.
天哪。
Rachel: What?
怎么了？
Joey: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
你们可能不会高兴看到这个。
Rachel: Ooh, gosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
天哪，还有饼干糊在运动版呢。
Monica: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
看，在我的字谜那里也是。
Ross: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bite me bite me bite me bite me.
对，但是错误百出，除非，横十四的“格什温音乐剧”，是叫“咬我，咬我，咬我”。
Joey: I can't believe it's Christmas already. You know, I mean, one day your eating turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leaping and you geese are a-laying.
真不敢相信圣诞节又到了。我们才刚吃完了感恩节火鸡，转眼呢，现在又到了圣人跳跃和呆鹅下蛋的圣诞节。
Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.
所以每年的这个时候，鹅才会感觉到很轻松。
Ross: Hey guys. -All: Hey.
各位。-嗨。
Ross: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. I'll open it.
瑞秋，我买了一个小礼物给你，我来拆。
Ross: It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's...just a big spring. Alright, you're still mad at me becuase of the whole...
是“机灵鬼”。记得吗？走下楼梯，单独或成双。大家都知道是，只是一个大弹簧。好吧，你还在生我的气，就为了...
Rachel: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
那张不跟我在一起的理由的可恶单子？
Ross: How about from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
从现在起我们称那为“不幸的事件”怎么样？甘瑟，你家里有没有楼梯？
Gunther: Yeah.
有。
Ross: Here, go nuts.
去疯吧。
Ross: Hey guys. -All: Hey.
各位。-嗨。
Chandler: What's in the bag?
袋子里有什么？
Ross: Um, just some presents.
只是些礼物啦。
Joey: Come on show us what you bought...You know you want to.
快拿出来瞧瞧啊。其实你很想的。
Ross: OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
好吧，你们看，这是班送给我父母的相框。
Monica: Uh, that's cute.
很可爱。
Ross: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
“她的”跟“她的”毛巾，给苏珊跟卡萝。还有，买了这件衬衫给妈。
Monica: Ross, that is gorgeous! -Ross: Yeah?
罗斯，好漂亮！-有么？
Monica: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
哦瞧瞧这些假徽章，妈妈会在假的军校里得到“最佳服装奖”。
Phoebe: Hey. -All: Hey. Hi Pheebs.
嗨。-嗨，菲比。
Phoebe: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. Oh my God, where did you get this?
圣诞前夕的前夕快乐。我的天哪，这哪儿来的？
Ross: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.
梅西百货三楼，家饰部。
Phoebe: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
这是我爸爸，这是我爸爸的照片。
Chandler: Nah, Pheebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
菲比，那是相框附送的相片。
Phoebe: No it isn't, this is my dad, all right, I'll show you.
不，这是我爸爸，好，我拿给你们看。
Rachel: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
菲比，我以为你爸在牢里。
Phoebe: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
不，那是我继父。我真正的爸，是我出生以前就跑了的那个。
Rachel: How have you never been on Oprah?
你怎么会没上过奥普拉的访谈啊？
Phoebe: OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
瞧，这就是他。我妈在死前给了我这张照片，同一个人。
Monica: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
这是一张相框模特儿跟一只牧羊犬站在浅蓝背景前的照片。
Phoebe: It's not a blue screen...it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my Grandmother.
那不是蓝背景，那是，也许那天万里晴空吧，我得跟我外婆谈一谈。
Monica: Oh, wait a minute honey. -All: Phoebs.
等一下，菲比。-菲比。
Joey: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me...
我在设法弄我老板的前任老婆上床...
All: Joey!
乔伊！
Joey: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
菲比有问题时大家都洗耳恭听！
Grandmother: Esther Livingston. Gone.
艾斯特·利文斯顿死了。
Grandmother: Hi, Phoe.
嗨，小熊。
Phoebe: Hi Gram. Whatcha doing?
外婆，你在干嘛？
Grandmother: Oh, just updating the phonebook.
我在更新电话簿。
Phoebe: Um, Gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
外婆？我可以再看一次，我爸的照片吗？
Grandmother: Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come?
当然，当然了为什么？
Phoebe: Just, you know, to see...um.
我只是突然想看一看...
Grandmother: Oh, sure, yeah. This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation...another graduation...another graduation.
好，来。这是你爸站在草地上的照片，他…帮一个小男孩放风筝。这一张是他的毕业典礼，再一张的毕业典礼，再来一张毕业典礼。
Phoebe: OK, is this really my father?
他真的是我爸爸吗？
Grandmother: Is it really your fa--I can't...well of course it is.
他真的是你爸…？天哪，他当然是。
Phoebe: I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
我闻到烟味了，也许是因为有人的裤子着火了。（说谎）
Grandmother: Look, I...
这...
Phoebe: You know, in all the years that we have been grandmather and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
我们两个当祖孙这么多年了…你从没有对我撒过谎。
Grandmother: All right, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
好吧，他不是你爸爸，他只是一个相框里的男人。
Phoebe: Oh God.
天啊。
Grandmother: It was your mother's idea.
那是你妈的主意。
Grandmother: You know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't wanna go along with it, but, well then she died and-and it was harder to argue with her.
她不想让你知道谁是你爸…因为他的离去让你妈很伤心。我本来也不想跟着她骗你，可是她死了，那样跟她争辩就太难了。
Grandmother: Not impossible, but harder.
不是不可能，只是更难。
Phoebe: All right, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
那他不是一个有名的树医啰？他也不住在，没有电话的缅甸茅屋里头啰？
Grandmother: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
我听说他在纽约州，某个地方当药剂师。
Phoebe: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?
那没有道理，村民干嘛去崇拜一个，药剂师呢？
Grandmother: Honey.
亲爱的。
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
恩。
Grandmother: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this.
反正呢，我所知道的就这么多。还有…跟这个。
Grandmother: This is the real him.
这…是真正的他了。
Phoebe: Oh.
哦。
Chandler: You know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneaking around downstairs.
我记得我爸爸，他穿了一身火红的衣服…黑色的大靴子，还有漆皮皮带…在楼下鬼鬼崇崇的。
Chandler: He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
他不想被任何人发现…可是他醉得摇摇晃晃，然后撞东撞西把大家都吵醒。
Rachel: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
听起来不像是个快乐的圣诞节。
Chandler: Who said anything about Christmas?
谁说是圣诞节来着？
Monica: Hi.
嗨。
Ross: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
有没有菲比的消息？
Rachel: No, nothing.
没有。
Monica: I hope she's OK.
希望她没事。
Joey: Yeah, I know exactly what she's going through.
是呀，我完全了解她的处境。
Monica: How do you know exactly what she's going through?
你怎么会完全了解她的处境？
Joey: She told us.
她告诉我们的嘛。
Chandler: So what we got there Monica?
莫妮卡，你买了什么？
Monica: Just some stuff for the party.
派对要用的东西。
Ross: Hey, what're you guys doing here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
你们还在这里干嘛，你们不是该去买礼物了吗？
Monica: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're you gonna do?
你们礼物还没买好吗？明天就是圣诞夜了，你们要怎么办？
Chandler: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
你一定要像粘土动画里的人物那样说话吗？
Rachel: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent.
对了，莫妮卡，我想邮差不欣赏你的饼干。这是你妈寄来的装饰品。
Monica: Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough.
说不定他喜欢我的饼干，只是他嫌少了。
Joey: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you.
莫妮卡，鸽子都学得比你快。
Ross: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How about you make a list about me?
瑞秋我想我知道，怎么样让你好过点了。你列张关于我的清单如何？
Rachel: Wha...forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of...-Ross: Come on Rachel.
什么？算了吧，罗斯，我怎么会…去列一张关于你的…-来吧。
Rachel: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know.
好，你爱发牢骚…爱钻牛角尖，没有安全感…你根本就没种。你从来不知道怎么把握时机。
Rachel: You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair.
你暗恋我一年，结果你什么都没做。还有，你头发涂了太多发胶了。
Ross: See, there, you uhh, all right, you-you did what I said.
瞧…你照我说的做了。
Rachel: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross.
对呀，你知道吗？你说得对，我觉得好多了。谢了，罗斯。
Phoebe: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay...OK, um, in Ithaca...alright, um, Saratoga...Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information.
是的，在奥尔巴尼（纽约州首府），麻烦你查一查弗兰克布菲的电话。伊萨卡（纽约州）呢？好吧，萨拉托加（纽约州）呢？尤蒂卡（纽约州）呢？好吧，你知道吗？你没有资格自称查号台！
Grandmother: Hey.
嗨。
Phoebe: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name.
外婆，请问这是不是你的真姓名？
Grandmother: Come on now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going?
好了，小熊，别跟我生气了。进行得怎么样了？
Phoebe: Oh, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math.
不太好。纽约州蛮大的，他蛮小的，你自己算吧。
Grandmother: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin.
我想没找到他对你还比较好，我知道他是你爸爸。但是对我而言…他是那个让你妈怀孕，又偷她的车子，不负责的混球。
Phoebe: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, you know.
我知道啊，只是想知道他是谁而已。
Grandmother: Yeah, I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived.
是啊，我知道。我说我不知道他住在哪里…是有点骗你。
Phoebe: What do you mean?
什么意思？
Grandmother: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab.
他住在中城市罗瑞街74号，要是看到奶品皇后冰淇淋店，就过头了。开我的车去吧。
Phoebe: Wow. Thank you.
谢了。
Grandmother: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab.
我的计程车别让别人开啊。
Phoebe: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Oh, thank you. Oh, ok, wish me luck, Grandpa!
知道了，我要见到我爸爸了，谢谢。好吧，祝我好运了，外公！（爱因斯坦的照片）
Joey: Hey! Phoebe here with the cab yet?
菲比开计程车来了吗？
Chandler: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab...hop in.
来了，那是一辆隐形车上车吧。
Joey: Well she better get here soon, the outlet stores close at 7.
她最好快一点，商店七点就关门了。
Chandler: Hey, don't worry.
别担心。
Chandler: I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, even if Phoebe tells the one where she's an Egyptian slave girl, we'll still have plenty of time.
我想菲比去她爸那儿，大概两个小时…他们见面，聊天，交换生活故事。甚至她会说她是个埃及奴隶，我们还是有时间的。
Joey: Hey, here she comes!
她来了！
All: Hey...
嗨。
Phoebe: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
你们相信吗？再两个小时我就有爸爸了。
Chandler: Eeeshk. -Joey: Yeah, big stuff!
是呀，大事哦！
Phoebe: OK, let's go. -Chandler: OK.
对呀，走吧。-好。
Phoebe: All right, here, you have to hold this. -Chandler: OK.
好，你来拿着这个。-好。
