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Monica: Phoebe!
菲比！
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down, I wanted to see him.
我很抱歉，我受不了，我想要见他。
Monica: Not on my watch! Damn it Phoebe! How-how did you even call him?
在我的监视之下不准！该死的，菲比，你是怎么打电话给他的？
Monica: There's a speakerphone on the base unit. Base unit. Think, Monica, think!
电话主机有子母机听筒。主机，用脑啊，莫妮卡，用用脑！
Mike: Can I come in?
我可以进来吗？
Monica: No! No.
不可以，不可以。
Monica: Phoebe, isn't seeing Mike exactly what you wanted me to stop you from doing?
菲比，你不是要我阻止你跟麦克见面吗？
Mike: But, Phoebe wants to see me, and i want to see her.
但，菲比想见我，我也想见她。
Monica: This doesn't concern you!
这不关你的事！
Mike: Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.
对不起，我只是听到有人提到我的名字。
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just gonna make getting over each other that much harder.
听着，你们不能这样做这会使事情更复杂的。
Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't, why can't we just hang out as friends?
如果什么事都没发生就不会，我们不能当朋友吗？
Monica: Well sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then-then maybe I'll join ya.
当然可以，如果你们只是朋友，那我也可以加入你们。
Monica: You know, I'm your friend and Mike's friend.
你知道的，我是你的朋友也是麦克的朋友。
Phoebe: Sit down.
坐下吧。
Monica: Oh, wow wow wow wow wow! Make room for your friend!
哦，哇哦……！让个位置给你们的朋友！
Mike: So how've you been?
你过得好不好？
Monica: I've been pretty good.
我还挺不错的。
Mike: You look really beautiful.
你真的很美。
Phoebe: Thanks, you look good too.
谢谢，你看起来也不错。
Monica: Oh, no no no no, this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
不对，这太危险了，放干净点！
Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?
钢琴演奏还好吗？
Mike: Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately.
事实上，我最近弹了许多情歌，
Mike: I've missed you.
我一直很想你。
Phoebe: I've missed you too.
我也是。
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up.
在我要过来这里的路上，我看到一个酒鬼吐了一地。
Monica: And then a pigeon ate it!
然后一只鸽子还去吃！
Chandler: Hey, Ross, look, I just wanted to apologize ... don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
嘿，罗斯。听着，我只是想过来跟你道歉。别告诉我你真的在做我的同性恋照。
Ross: Uh-huh uh-huh, check this out.
瞧瞧这个。
Chandler: Huh! So, that's what I would look like if I worked out ... and was being serviced by a policeman.
所以如果我有健身，看起来就会是这样。而且还有警察先生为我服务。
Chandler: You're not actually gonna send these out, are ya?
你不是真的要贴出这些照片吧？
Ross: Eh ... actually no, I don't need to, because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work,
事实上，我没有必要 因为你“罗斯死了”的笑话根本没用。
Ross: ok, there were no responses.
好吗？根本就没有人回应。
Ross: Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke, my friend, is on you.
没有人张贴任何东西，没有人打电话给我父母，你才好笑。
Ross: Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead.
没有人来电，没有人写什么，没有人在乎我死了。
Ross: Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead? !
喔，我的天！没有人在乎我死了吗？
Chandler: Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
喔，别这样，你知道不是那样的。
Ross: What're you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet!
你在说什么呢？你有六十个回复只不过是因为出柜而已！
Ross: I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
而我死了，却连一个回复都没有！
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
嗯，同性恋社团比死人社团还要活跃。
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy!
我不敢相信，连我地质学同事都没有回复，以前都是我带他的！
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website?
听着，我们不要再多想了，好吗？你认为大家会想要在这悲伤的时刻打扰你的家人吗？有人会在网站上张贴哀悼辞吗？
Chandler: This is not about people not caring that you're dead.
不是说大家不在乎。
Chandler: This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
而是那并非适合的抒发悲情的管道。
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
你说的没错，那不是适合的管道。
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
没错，我确定如果你有举办追悼会 一定会有很多人来的。
Ross: Exactly!
没错！
Chandler: Ross, what're you, what're you, what're you doing?
罗斯，你要干嘛？
Chandler: You're having a memorial service for yourself? !
你要帮自己办追悼会？
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
不，那会太离谱了，你要帮我办！
Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press send ... !
罗斯，不要寄出，不要寄……！
Ross: Oh, too late, too late! It's sent.
哦，太迟了，太迟了，寄出了。
Chandler: Oh, sorry, so is the picture of you and the policeman.
对不起，还有你跟警察先生的照片也寄了。
Chandler: That's all right. I'm tan, limber ... And it looks like I talked my way out of that ticket.
没关系，我晒的很黑又很健壮，看起来好像是我在求他不要开罚单。
Joey: The surgery was not a success, and then you say "What're we gonna do, Drake?"
手术失败后，你说：“我们该怎么办，德瑞克？”
Joey: Uh ... Come in.
进来。
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
我刚要哄艾玛睡一下，你有看到哈吉吗？
Joey: Original or crappy?
原版的还是烂的？
Rachel: Original.
原版的。
Joey: No, sorry, haven't seen him.
没有，抱歉，没有看到。
Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers?
那你床上突起来的是什么？
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
是莫妮卡，好吗？
Rachel: That's not Monica!
那不是莫妮卡！
Joey: Alright! Fine! It's original Hugsy!
好啦，没关系！是原版的哈吉！
Joey: You know, I know Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him ... she's been unreasonable.
我知道艾玛要他，但他是我的，而我需要他。她真是不讲道理。
Rachel: Oh God.
我的天！
Rachel: Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much!
乔伊，艾玛爱那个蠢企鹅是有原因的！
Rachel: Oh don't cover its ears!
喔，不要捂住他的耳朵！
Rachel: It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
他让她想起她的乔伊叔叔！
Joey: It does?
真的？
Rachel: Yeah!
是的！
Rachel: And I think she really likes him because he smells like you. And she ... She loves that. Go figure.
而我认为她很喜欢他，是因为他闻起来有你的味道而她很喜欢那味道的。谁知道呢。
Rachel: You know? And I think she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
她很喜欢他是因为，她是那么爱她的乔伊叔叔。
Joey: Really? She ... she loves me?
真的？她爱我？
Rachel: Oh, yeah!
喔，是的！
Rachel: But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry.
但是你知道吗？如果你需要哈吉，没关系。
Rachel: Emma will totally understand. I won't ... but whatever.
艾玛会谅解的，我不会，但是那又如何呢。
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute, wait a minute, Rach, I mean if, if ...
好的，等等，瑞秋 我是说如果……
Joey: If Hugsy means that much to Emma then ... well she can have him.
如果艾玛那么喜欢哈吉，那么……嗯，就给她吧。
Rachel: Oooh ... oh sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up.
喔，亲爱的，我就知道乔伊叔叔最好了。
Joey: Look Emma, look who's baaack!
瞧，艾玛，瞧瞧是谁回来了！
Joey: Forget it, forget it ... I can't do it.
不，算了！算了！我做不到！
Rachel: Are you gonna ... you're gonna take Hugsy away from a little child?
你……你要把哈吉从一个小孩手上抢走？
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
要不然你认为我当初怎么拿到哈吉的？
Monica: I mean, and then it just gobbled up that puke. I mean, tha was one gross pigeon.
然后它就将吐出来的东西狼吞虎咽吃下去，我是说……那真是只恶心的鸽子。
Phoebe: Oh man, why didn't I ask Joey to keep us apart?
天啊，我为什么不是请乔伊帮我们分开呢？
Phoebe: You throw a meatball in the hallway, we'd be doing it like rabbits right now.
只要在门外丢块肉，现在我们就在床上打滚了。
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
好了，你们两个，我要去上厕所。
Monica: Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone.
我不希望在我离开时发生什么事。
Monica: Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
有几件事你们可以讨论粘液、菌类 还有我跟罗斯如何把玩这些东西。
Mike: I've missed you so much!
我真的好想你！
Mike: No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but,
我不会要求你复合，我知道我们要的是不同的东西，但……
Mike: Just be with you one more time!
只要跟你再共度一晚就好！
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but is that gonna make it too hard?
我也想要，但是那会使事情更困难吗？
Mike: It can't be any harder than this ...
再也不会比现在更困难了
Mike: I mean, If I'd known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I ...
如果我知道上一次见到你，就是最后一次，我……
Mike: I would've stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved, Everything about you.
我一定会努力记住你的脸、你的行动、你的一举一动。
Mike: If I'd known the last time I kissed you would've been the last time ... I never would've stopped.
如果我知道上次亲吻你，就是最后一次……我就不会停下来。
Monica: Kiss him, you fool!
亲啊，你这个傻瓜！
Phoebe: What?
什么？
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
你没有听到他说什么吗？如果你不亲他，让我来！
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much!
我好想你！
Strange man: I knew you'd be here!
我就知道你在这里！
Mike: Oh, crap!
妈的！
Phoebe: Who-who is this?
他是谁？
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
我朋友曼尼我请他看好我，远离你。
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
嘿，我也在帮菲比做同样的事！
Manny: Well, you are not doing a very good job!
那你根本没做好你的工作！
Monica: Excuse me?
什么？
Manny: What's with the kissing?
亲吻是怎么回事呢？
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
嘿，至少我也在现场哪。
Manny: Oh yeah, yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
是啊，感谢上帝 你在这里监看他们亲吻。
Monica: You didn't hear the speech!
你没有听到他说的话！
Manny: I've heard the speech: "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her ... "
我听到了：“如果他知道那是最后一次……”
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
嘿，那很令人感动的，你真是没心肝！
Manny: You're weak!
你太软弱了！
Monica: You're ... weird!
你太奇怪了！
Manny: Your pants are undone!
你裤子拉链没拉！
Monica: Oh!
啊！
Manny: Where'd they go?
他们呢？
Monica: Uh, damn it!
该死的！
Manny: Oh we blew it. I blame myself.
我们搞砸了，我只能怪我自己。
Monica: And I blame you too.
而我也只能怪你。
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up!
已经一个小时了，而我同学竟然一个都没来？
Ross: I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
我告诉你，要是我真的死了，有些人一定会被鬼缠死的！
Chandler: There you go! Someone came!
来了，有人来了！
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm-I'm gonna go hide!
好了，好了，我要去躲起来了！
Ross: Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner!
真是紧张，我第一个追悼者！
Monica: Hi, glad you could come.
嗨，很高兴你能够来。
Chandler: Please come in.
请进。
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right?
嗨，你是钱德·宾吗？
Tom: I'm Tom Gordon, I-I was in your class.
我是汤姆·高登，是你班上的同学。
Chandler: Oh yes, yes ... let me ... take your coat.
喔，是的，是的，让我帮你拿外套。
Tom: Thanks ... uh ... I'm-I'm so sorry about Ross, it's ...
谢谢，很难过听到罗斯的事，真是……
Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved ... watching blimps
没关系，至少他死时正在做喜欢的事。看飞船。
Ross: Who is he?
那是谁？
Chandler: Some guy, Tom Gordon.
你认识一个叫汤姆·高登的吗？
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives.
我不记得他了，但是，我影响了太多的人。
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
那你跟罗斯很熟吗？
Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news, you know if he's seeing anyone?
事实上我不太认识他，我来是因为听到钱德的事。你知道他有在跟谁交往吗？
Monica: Yes, he is. Me.
是的，他有，就是我。
Tom: What? You ... You ... Oh!
什么？你是说……
Tom: Oh, can I ask you a personal question? How-how do you shave your beard so close?
我可以问你一个私人问题吗？你是怎么将胡子刮得这么干净的？
Chandler: Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye-bye! All right.
好了，汤姆，你哀悼得够了走吧，再见，好了。
Tom: All right, all right Hey, listen. Call me.
嘿，听着，打电话给我。
Chandler: Ok!
好的！
Ross: I'm dead and no one cares?
我死了还没有人在乎？
Monica: I look like a man?
我看起来像男人吗？
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
拜托，一次一个荒谬的问题就好！
Ross: This isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here!
这并不荒谬，瞧瞧四周，根本没有人来。
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the website everyday and Monica ... it's probably the way you stand!
你才通知他们一天而已，又不是每个人天天都上网。而莫妮卡，或许是因为你的站姿！
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still, somebody must've seen it ...
我猜你说的对 但是，总该要有人看到啊 ...
Ross: I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
我读那所学校四年了，而我竟然没有影响到任何人？
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends.
嗯，不是那样的，你有影响到我。我是说，已经十五年了，而我们依然是最要好的朋友。
Chandler: Doesn't that count for something?
那不算是什么吗？
Ross: Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
太好了，更多狂野男孩来找钱德了。
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide.
我敢说一定是来看你的，去躲起来。
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
嗨，我来参加罗斯·盖勒的追悼会。
Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston?
可芮？可芮·薇丝顿？
Kori: Yeah.
是的。
Chandler: Wow! You look amazing!
你看起来真棒！
Kori: And you are?
你是谁呢？
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. And I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
钱德，钱德·宾 而且我不是同性恋，我一点都不是。
Monica: You are married though.
但是你已经结婚了。
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood!
别听“他”的，“他”只是心情很差。
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
我不敢相信罗斯已经走了，真是难过。
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
我不知道罗斯跟你很熟。
Kori: Oh, we weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy
喔，并没有，但是我们一起上过一堂课，他是个很棒的人。
Kori: And he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
而且他总是很热情地讨论科学，我一直记得他。
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
我确定这对他的意义深远。
Chandler: And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
而且如果天堂有一扇门。我敢说他一定耳朵贴着门仔细在听。
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out.
我好多次都想打电话约他出去，
Kori: I guess I really missed my chance.
我想我真的再也没有机会了。
Ross: But you didn't!
不，你还有机会！
Ross: I'm still alive!
我还活着！
Chandler: Who did we bury?
那我们埋葬的是谁？
Ross: Kori, I-I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day!
可芮，我知道这件事让你很惊讶，说来话长，但是你刚说的话，让我这一天变得很美好。
Ross: I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than-than if this room were filled with people!
你的到来真是对我意义重大，比房间都充满了人还要好！
Kori: You sick freak, who does that?
你这变态的怪物！谁会做这种事？
Kori: I can't believe I had a crush on you!
我不敢相信我喜欢过你！
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!
你们有听到吗？可芮·薇丝顿喜欢过我！
Ross: No, mum, I am not dead.
没啦，妈，我没死。
Ross: No, I know it's not something to kid about.
我知道这是不可以开玩笑的。
Ross: Oh. it was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok?
这只是我跟钱德在玩的恶作剧已经结束了，好吗？
Ross: Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless.
事实上不会的，即使我死了，你也不会没有孩子。
Ross: Monica?
莫妮卡？
