Okay, Raj. Hand me the No. 6 Torx screwdriver.
好了,Raj,给我6号星型螺丝刀。
Stop. We can't do this. It's not right.
停,我们不能这样做,这是不对的。
Sheldon, you have two choices. Either you let him put a bigger hard drive in the TiVo, or you delete stuff before we go out of town.
谢尔顿,你有两种选择,要么你让他给TiVo换个大点的硬盘,要么在我们离城前删点东西。
But once you open the box, you've voided the warranty.
但是你一旦打开机器,就享受不了质保了。
The warranty is a sacred covenant we've entered into with the manufacturer.
质保协议是我们和厂家签订的正式协议。
He offers to stand by his equipment, and we in return agree not to violate the integrity of the internal hardware.
厂家对他们产品提供质保,而我们要做到不人为破坏内部硬件。
This little orange sticker is all that stands between us and anarchy.
我们和烂摊子之间可就只有这张小黄贴纸之隔。
Okay, then we won't touch the hard drive. We'll just erase the first season of Battlestar.
好吧,我们不动硬盘,把第一季《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》删了就行。
There. We're outlaws. Here you go, Leonard. Is this going to be big enough? It's perfect.
撕了,法律宣布无效了,没质保了。Leonard给你,容量现在够大了吧?棒极了。
For taking daffodils to your unicorn. It's just for my notebooks. Thanks, Penny.
给你独角兽装水仙花用?放我的笔记本。谢了佩妮。
I love San Francisco. I wish I was going with you.
我超喜欢旧金山,要能一起去就好了。
I understand your envy. This is a can't-miss symposium.
我知道你为什么会羡慕。这场研讨会可是百年一遇。
There are going to be discussions on bioorganic cellular computer devices, the advancements in multithreaded task completion,
会讨论生物有机细胞计算机设备多线程任务完成方面的进展,
plus a roundtable on the nonequilibrium Green's function approach to the photoionization process in atoms.
还有一个非平衡性格林函数在原子光电离进程中运用的圆桌会议。
When I go, I usually just get hammered and ride the cable cars.
我去那通常是大醉一场,还有坐坐缆车。
This conference is kind of a big thing. The keynote address is being delivered by George Smoot.
这次会议真是非比寻常,专题主讲人可是乔治?斯姆特。
Oh, my God, the George Smoot? You've heard of him? Of course I haven't.
哦上帝,那个乔治?斯姆特?你听过?当然没有。
George Smoot is a Nobel Prizewinning physicist, one of the great minds of our time.
乔治?斯姆特是物理学诺贝尔奖获得者,是当今着名的学者,
His work in black body form and anisotropy of the cosmic microwave background radiation cemented our understanding of the origin of the universe.
他对于宇宙微波背景辐射的黑体和各向异性研究巩固了我们对宇宙起源的了解。
It's kind of a funny name, though"Smoot." I'm talking to a chimp.
名字念起来倒挺有趣,斯姆特。我简直是跟大猩猩说话。
Okay, now that I've been completely insulted, have a good flight.
好了,我已经完全被你们伤害了。祝你们飞行愉快吧。
Yeah, I wish. We're not flying. We're taking the train. Oh, cool.
我倒是想飞。但我们不坐飞机,我们搭火车。哦,很酷。
Yeah, cool. Seven times as long as flying, and costs almost twice as much.
是,很酷。不仅时间是乘飞机的7倍,连车票都贵上一倍呢。
Well, then why are you doing it?
那么你们干嘛还坐火车?
Well, we had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane. Sheldon voted for train. So we're taking the train.
我们投票来着。3票坐飞机,谢尔顿投坐火车,所以我们只好坐火车。
Don't say it like that, Leonard. Say it like: We're taking the train!
别用这腔调说,Leonard。应该这样说,我们坐火车啊!
Hey, we're all going over to the Apple store to make fun of the guys at the Genius Bar. You want to come?
嗨,我们要去苹果专卖店捉弄天才吧那些家伙,你来吗?
Oh, I always enjoy that, but I'm a little busy. What are you doing?
噢,我总是很喜欢干那事,不过现在有点忙。你忙啥呢?
I'm simplifying the task of packing for our trip.
我在为旅行打包做简化工作,
See, by attaching RFID tags to my clothing, it will able my laptop to read and identify the items with this wand.
给衣服贴上无线射频识别标签,用上扫描器,电脑就可以识别物品了。
I will then crossreference them against destination, anticipated activity spectrum, weather conditions, duration of trip, et cetera.
然后我再根据目的地预计活动频谱、天气状况、旅行时间等信息来相互对照。
Well, that does sound much simpler. How long is this going to take?
呃,听起来是挺简化的。那你要弄多久?
Assuming I can keep up this pace, three hours, 11 minutes, and plus however long tak to conclude this fairly pointless conversation.
假定我能按照现在的速度,大约3小时11分钟,再加上不知道多久才能结束的无意义对话。
Teasing the guys at the Apple store seems a little redundant now.
那么,现在看来捉弄苹果店里的人有点多余了。
I don't follow. I wouldn't expect you to. I'll see you later.
我没明白。也没指望你明白,待会见。
Socks, one pair, cotton, argyle, blue. Socks, one pair, cotton, argyle, blue.
袜子一双,棉质、菱形、花纹、蓝色。袜子一双,棉质、菱形、花纹、蓝色。
What on earth are you doing? Whatever it is, I'm guessing we're doing it wrong.
你这是要干嘛?不管我做了什么,我猜我是做错了。
Gentlemen, this is the Coast Starlight, one of the great American trains operating on one of the classic American routes.
先生们,这可是海岸星光列车,美国经典路线上的最好列车之一。
On this side, you'll see panoramic ocean vistas inaccessible to any other form of transportation.
坐这边呢,可以享受乘坐其他交通工具所无法体会的全景式海岸风光。
While on your side, you'll be treated to 350 miles of CostCos, Jiffy Lubes, and cinder block homes with aboveground pools.
坐你这边呢,看到的是350英里的好市多,捷飞络连锁店,还有带泳池水泥民居。
Come on, Raj. What's wrong with Jiffy Lubes? No. Why not?
来这儿,Raj。捷飞络有什么不好的?不。又怎么啦?
That's over the wheelbase. Are you completely unfamiliar with the suspension characteristics of a pre-1980 Pullmanbuilt Superliner Deluxe passenger coach?
这座位正好在轴距上,你难道一点不清楚80年代前所造豪华乘坐席悬挂系统的特性吗?
Sheldon, we've been on this train 90 second, and you've already said a thousand words. Just tell us where to sit and shut up.
谢尔顿,才上车90秒,你已经说了几千个字了。你直接说坐哪,然后闭嘴。
Here. I'm hoping once you reap the end orphic rewards of the steady clickety-clack of steel wheels on polished rails, your sour disposition will abate.
这儿,我希望你在享受车轮和锃亮铁轨发出的美妙喀嚓声时你的坏心情会少一点。
Yeah, maybe. Meanwhile back in the 21st century, people are raising their tray tables and putting their seatbacks in an upright position 'cause it's time to land in San Francisco.
可能。这个时候21世纪的人在准备收起折叠桌,将座椅调整到竖直状态,因为飞机要着陆到旧金山了。
It's not so bad, really. At least these trains have modern plumbing.
其实也没那么糟啦,至少这火车有现代化的抽水马桶。
In India, you squat over a hole in the train and expose your naked buttocks to the chilly air of Rajasthan.
在印度,你得光着屁屁蹲在车厢里的一个洞上感受拉贾斯坦邦的冷空气。
He is referring, of course, to third class on Indian Railways' magnificent Ranakpur Express and its 1,200-kilometer journey from Maharashtra to the Bikaner Junction.
他说的当然是印度华丽的Ranakpur特快三等席,从马哈拉施特拉邦到比卡内尔接轨点的1200公里旅途。
Oh, look, now he's boring on an international scale.
哦,瞧,现在他啰嗦到国际范围了。
Holy crap! Look! Is that (who) I think it is? It can't be. What would Summer Glau be doing riding the train?
哦我的天!看哪!不会真是她吧?不能够啊,夏沫?格拉干嘛坐火车?
Maybe John Connor is aboard and she's protecting him from an evil Terminator.
可能约翰?康纳也在车上,她要保护他不被坏终结者追杀。
Unlikely. That's a television show, Leonard. Thank you.
不太可能,那只是电视剧,Leonard。多谢提醒。
Of course, if SkyNet actually did exist in the future, a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy mankind would be to send Terminators back posing as actors
当然啦,如果天网真的存在于未来世界,那么完美潜入毁灭人类的方法就是让派来的终结者扮成曾在热门电影剧集中饰演过终结者的演员,
who have played Terminators in popular films and television series, lulling us into a false sense of security,
曾在热门电影剧集中饰演过终结者的演员,让我们产生安全错觉,
i. e. ,"That's Summer Glau from The Sarah Connor Chronicles. No, Summer, don't kill me!" I'm prorobot! Ahh!"
例如“她是《终结者莎拉传》里的夏沫?格拉,不要夏沫别杀我!我可是支持机器人的!啊!”
At least he's off the train crap.
至少他不再纠结那些火车的废话了。
Sheldon, I owe you an apology. Taking the train was a stroke of brilliance! I've actually got a shot at a Terminator.
Sheldon,我得向你道歉。乘火车绝对是次天才的举动!终于有机会看到终结者了。
Oh, please. When it comes to Terminators, you've got a better shot of scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
拜托,谈到终结者,我看你还是和施瓦辛格约会的机会比较大。
You're overlooking something. I have 11 hours with her in a confined space.
你忽略了件事。我将和她在这个狭窄的空间里待上11个小时。
Unless she's willing to jump off a moving train, tuck and roll down the side of a hill, she will eventually succumb to the acquired taste that is Hward Wolowitz.
除非她愿意跳下行驶的火车,抱头抱脑滚下那边的山坡,她将最终屈服于逐渐产生好感的对象,那就是我,霍华德?沃勒威茨,即便她之前是讨厌我的。
My money's on tuck and roll.
我赌钱,她会抱头抱脑滚下山。
I'm confused. I thought you were involved in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle.
我搞不懂了,我以为你和莱斯莉?温科在社交上保持着某种亲密关系。
Sheldon, let me explain to you how this works. All right. That's Summer Glau. Yes. That's it.
谢尔顿,我来给你解释下。好吧。那是夏沫?格勒耶!是啊。就这理由。
Hang on a sec. Why do you get first crack at her?
等等,凭什么是你第一个去追她?
Um, well, let's see, couple reasons. One, I saw her first.
呃,我想想,几个理由,第一我先看到她的。
No, you didn't. I did. Fair enough. But...then, let me move on to No2. Unlike you, I can actually talk to women when I'm sober.
不是你,是我。那好吧,但是……我们说第二个理由吧,和你不同,我能镇静地同一位女性交谈。
You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic, while you, on the other hand, are frail and pasty.
你没有考虑到即使不说话,我来自国外有异国情调,相反你呢,虚弱而苍白。
Well, you know the old saying, Pasty and frail never fail.
你知道有句老话吗,虚弱苍白者从不失手。
Excuse me, but what about me? Why don't I get a shot? Fine, go ahead. Take a shot.
打断一下,那还有我呢?怎么没我的事了?好吧,那你去啊,碰碰运气。
You know, I've already got a gorgeous blonde back home at I can't score with. I think I'll let you two take this one.
家里已经有个搞不定的漂亮金发妞儿了,这一个还是留给你们俩吧。
Sheldon, is there a place on this train to get alcohol?
Sheldon,这火车上有地方卖酒吗?
Interesting that you ask. The Coast Starlight recently added the refurbished Pacific Parlour Car.
你问起来我就讲讲,海岸星光列车最近加入了重新装修的太平洋特等客车。
Built in 1956 and originally known as the Santa Fe Lounge Car, the lower level is a theater and the upper level
建于1956年,即着名的原圣达菲休闲客车,下层是一个小剧院,上层是……
Yeah yeah, which way? is a bar that offers wine tastings if you're going as far as Portland.
好的好的怎么走?一个提供葡萄酒品尝的酒吧,快去吧。
So aren't you going to go talk to her? I will, I'm just working on my opening line.
你不去找她搭讪?我去。只是先酝酿下我的开场白。
She's probably heard every possible line, Howard. Why don't you just try "hello"?
她也许听腻了各种开场白,Howard。你干嘛不直接说‘你好’?
No, no, no, that always creeps girls out.
不不行,那句通常会把姑娘们吓跑。
I need to come up with something that's funny, smart and delicately suggests that my sexual endowment is disproportionate to my physical stature.
我得想出一句既风趣、聪明又能微妙地暗示出我的做爱本领和我的身材不成正比。
You're going to need more than 11 hours.
那11小时看来不够了。
Oh, no. What's the matter? I forgot my flash drive. So? So we have to go back.
噢,不。怎么回事?我忘了带我的闪存卡。那又怎样?那我们就得回去。
Okay, Sheldon, I'm going to say "why" and your answer cannot be because I forgot my flash drive.
好吧,Sheldon,我接下来要问你为什么,你不能回答因为忘了带闪存卡。
You don't understand. My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical probes of Mtheory effects in the early universe that I was going to give to George Smoot at the conference.
你不明白。我的闪存里存着我关于早期宇宙中天体探测M理论效应的论文,我打算在研讨会上给乔治?斯姆斯看的。
Why do you have to give your paper to George Smoot? It's brilliant. He needs to read it.
你为什么要把你的论文给乔治?斯姆斯?我的论文写得太棒了。他应该阅读才对。
So you'll send him an email when we get back. Then I won't get to see his face light up as he reads it. Right. Of course.
那等我们回去你给他发封邮件就行了。那我就看不到他读到我论文时神采奕奕的样子了。对,当然。
Oh, this is an unmitigated disaster. Well, there's nothing you can do about it, so relax.
哦,这绝对是场灾难。你也没办法啊,放松点吧。
Sit back, enjoy the clicketyclack of the steel wheels on the polished rails.
坐好享受火车钢轮在锃亮铁轨上擦出的咔嗒咔嗒之声。
You forgot your flash drive. You forgot your flash drive. Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go.
你忘了带你的闪存,你忘了带你的闪存……再熬10小时55分钟就好了。