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Which side of the bed would you prefer?
你喜欢睡哪边?
Doesn't matter to me. Your choice.
我都可以你先选吧
No, no, we're living together now... everything's equal.
不我们现在是在同居...一切平等
You know? I know that I have a tendency to be controlling,so I would rather you choose.
我也知道我倾向于掌控一切所以我更希望你先选
Well, Sheldon, I really appreciate that, but these things mean more to you than they do to me,so whatever you want.
Sheldon我很感谢你的好意但这类事情对你来说更重要一些所以随你的便吧
Well, clearly, it's not whatever I want,
显然我不能随我的便啊
because what I want is for you to make this decision, and you refuse to do that.
因为我想要的是你先做选择但被你拒绝了
Well, I'm not refusing.
我不是拒绝你
I'm just trying to be considerate.
我只是体贴地为你着想
Like when you let me get those shoes with the wheels on the bottom, and then watched me roll right into traffic?
就像你当时让我买那些底部带轮的鞋子然后眼睁睁地看着我滑到路中间
Sheldon, will you please just pick a side? Fine.
Sheldon拜托你先选好吗?好吧
Okay. Now, on this side,I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
如果睡这边的话如果遇到紧急状况我离出口更近
Great. That's your side.
好的那你就睡这边
No, but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
但如果有人袭击我就更靠近入口了
Okay, I'll take that side.
那好我睡那边
Ah, then again, what are the odds of someone attacking me? Rising rapidly.
不过有人袭击我的概率也很低的吧?也许我会呢
Now, this side offers me proximity to the bathroom,but I am closer to the window where perverts can watch me sleep.
要是睡在床的这边我就离卫生间更近了但是这样也离窗户更近了也许会有变态看着我睡觉
Okay.What if we do this? I suppose that works. Great.
嗯。如果我们把窗帘拉上呢?我猜大概没问题了好的
Although now I'm kind of worried someone's hiding behind those drapes. This is ridiculous.
不过我现在有点担心窗帘后面藏着人了。太荒唐了
The doctor knows what the baby is, the ultrasound tech knows,
医生知道宝宝的性别 B超医师也知道
Raj knows,his Grey's Anatomy online fan group probably knows.
Raj知道大概连他的实习医生格蕾网上粉丝团都知道了
Is it weird we don't? I don't know.
我们还不知道是不是太奇怪了?我不知道
Maybe the surprise will make it more fun.
也许不知道才更好玩一点
Like magic tricks.
就像变魔术一样
Remember how disappointed you were when I explained the neverending hanky?
还记得我解释了那个魔术"永不结束的手绢"之后你有多失望吗?
I was disappointed to see the man I was engaged to pulling rainbow scarves out of his fly.
我失望的是看见我的未婚夫从他的裤裆拉链里拉出彩虹色的手绢
But how delightful was it when I pulled out a bouquet at the end of those scarves?
但是拉完最后我变出来一个捧花不是很棒吗?
It'll be the same thing when the doctor pulls a beautiful surprise out of you.
等宝宝被医生拉出来的时候也会一样棒的
Everyone said I could do better.
大家都说我能找到更好的
But you didn't listen, and presto changeo, my baby's inside you. Tada!
但是你不听话啊超级变变变现在你怀了我的宝宝了瞧瞧!
Ugh. What is that? Why'd you switch sides?
恶这什么东西啊?你怎么换边了?
Be grateful I'm still in the room.Comfy?
我还在房间里你就偷着乐吧舒服吗?
Oh, I'm just happy I don't know what this memory foam remembers.Sheldon?
嗯我在庆幸自己不知道这记忆床垫里都记住了什么嘿 Sheldon?
I know we took coitus off the table, but I was wondering how you feel about other forms of intimacy,such as snuggling.
我知道我们说不上床的但是我在想其他的亲密行为比如抱抱你能接受吗
Well, it's funny you should ask, because I was wondering how you'd feel about separating the two of us with a pillow wall.
嗯还好你问了这个问题我刚还想问你在咱俩中间用枕头砌一道墙怎么样
Sheldon, I've made more than enough accommodations for you.
Sheldon我已经妥协得够多的了
We're both grown adults we've been far more intimate than this.
我们都是成年人了都已经一起睡过了
If you don't want to snuggle, fine but we're not building a pillow wall.
如果你不想抱抱的话没问题但是我们不会在中间砌枕头墙的
Okay, well, I am sorry.
好好好我错了
I'm just worried that my sensitivity to temperature could make this a rough night.
我只是担心因为我对温度特别敏感今天晚上可能睡不好
And no offense, but your bottom radiates enough heat,
我不是说你但是你的屁股简直就是个暖炉
I'm surprised there aren't iguanas lying on it.
没有蜥蜴趴在上面取暖着真是怪了
That's it. It's Sheldon's bedtime.
嗯到了Sheldon睡觉的时间了
He is in for the night.
他应该已经睡下了
Wow. I cannot believe we are alone in our own apartment. It's weird.
哇真不敢相信只有我们两个在自己家里。感觉怪怪的
This must be how parents feel when their kid goes off to college.
这大概就是孩子们去上大学之后父母的感觉吧
Unless they feel sad... then it's different.
除非他们还有点伤心...那就不一样了
So, what do you want to do?
所以说你想干点什么呢?
I know exactly what we are gonna do.
我早就想好了
Really? You're a genius,
就这个?你是个天才啊
and that's the first thing you come up with?
这就是你想出来的第一件事?
Hey, Sheldon's not here,
嘿 Sheldon不住在这儿了
so we are going to put on music
所以我们可以放点音乐
and dance in our underwear.
然后穿着小内裤跳舞
Ugh. Can we just have sex?
额我们直接上床不行吗?
Oh, don't worry.
哦不要担心
Once you see my sweet moves, sex is inevitable.
等你看到我动人的舞步你一定等不及要扑倒我了
It was a teenage wedding
这是年轻人的婚礼
And the old folks wished them well
老人们给他们祝福
You could see that Pierre
能看出来Pierre
Did truly love the mademoiselle
真的很爱这个女孩
And now the young monsieur Inevitable, you say?
这时年轻的新郎你刚说什么扑倒你?
I'll just let my hips do the talkin'.It goes to show you never can tell Screw it. I'm calling and finding out.
我的小翘臀会说服你的。你永远无法预测 我坚持不下去了我要打电话问他
Good. Call him. Wait, I'm not sure I want to know.
好好快打。等一下我不确定我是不是想知道
But you just said you wanted to know.
你刚才说了想知道啊
Well, now I don't know if I want to know!Hello?Call you back. No, Dr. Feynman.
那现在我不知道我想不想知道了嘛!喂?等会再打给你。不 Feynman博士
If I solve it for you, you'll never learn. Tootsee Roll Tootsee Roll
如果我帮你解了你就永远也学不会了。可劲儿浪，可劲儿浪
Tootsee Roll, Tootsee Roll... Wow! Where did you learn these moves?
不用桨全靠浪 哇塞!你哪里学来的这些动作啊?
The world may have forgotten about Dance Dance Revolution, but not this smooth criminal.
跳舞毯可能已经被全世界忘记了但我这个牛人可没有啊
To the left, to the left To the right, to the right, to the front.
向左向左 向右向右向前
Okay, you're positive you want to know?
好吧你确定你要知道吗?
Yes. Okay. Here we go. It's ringing. Hello? Wait. Wrong number.
确定 好吧要上了。通了。喂?等等 打错了
I told you not to do the worm.You were right.Hello.
都跟你说了让你不要做那个虫虫摆嘛。你说得对喂
I changed my mind! Hang up! Hang up!Oh, gee... oh!
我改主意了!快挂了!挂了!天啊...哦!
What are you doing down there?Hang on.
你在下面干嘛呢?等等
Who are you calling?
你要给谁打电话啊?
I'm so sore. I don't think
我全身都酸成狗我觉得
I slept two minutes last night.
我昨晚两分钟都没睡到
Yeah, get it, girl.
诶嘿嘿上啊妹子
It's not what you think.
不是你想的那样
I feel like I pulled something.
我觉得我拉着哪根筋了
Why didn't you tell me to stop?
你为什么没叫我停下来啊
Even more not what you think.
比你昨儿晚上更没激情
I don't know if I can make it
我不知道我能不能
through five weeks living with him.
成功跟他住五个礼拜
If you ever need a break, the owner of the train store
如果你什么时候想休息一下了火车店的老板
will let you leave him there while you get a coffee.Yeah.Good morning.
会让你买咖啡的时候把你男票寄放在他那。是的。早上好
See? I didn't knock, but it's fine.
看到没?我没敲门但这也没什么
I didn't knock, but it's fine. I didn't knock, but it's fine.
我没敲门但这也没什么我没敲门但这也没什么
So, how is everyone?
话说大家都怎么样啊?
Miserable and exhausted.Really? I slept great.
感觉身体被掏空。真的吗?我睡得可好了
Well, I didn't, and it's your fault.
可是我没睡好而且这都怪你
How? You had the whole floor to yourself.
怎么会?整个地板都是你的呢
Sheldon, maybe living together is a bad idea. Sheldon
可能同居是个坏主意
Well... Yeah, but what kind of scientists would we be,
呃...这样的话那作为科学家我们多不称职
drawing a conclusion after only 12 hours of data?
才采集了12小时数据就下结论了
The kind who almost put a pillow over your face last night.Wow.
称职到昨晚上差点把枕头按在你脸上。哇塞
I anticipated we'd have problems,
我想到了我们会有问题
but I never thought your scientific rigor would be one of them.
但从没想到你的科学严谨性会是其中之一
I'm sorry, are you questioning my integrity as a scientist?
不好意思你这是在质疑我作为科学家的诚信吗?
If the lab room disposable shoe cover fits.
如果你的科学家诚信能装满一个实验室一次性鞋套的话
Was that a science diss?
刚刚那是科学侮辱么?
Yeah. Was it a good one? Eh. Ah.
是的 侮辱得精彩么?一般吧 哦
What would a theoretical physicist understand about an experiment anyway?
讲真理论物理学家能懂点什么实验?
I mean, you wouldn't know a confounding variable if two of them hit you in the face at the same time!
连两个混淆变量同时啪啪打在你脸上你都意识不到!
And you don't even get that joke,'cause you don't even work with confounding variables!How dare you?
你甚至都听不懂我的梗因为你压根就不做混淆变量的工作!你好大的胆子?
Oh, you heard me. Your experimental bona fides are laughable.
哦你听到我说的了你实验的真诚度简直可笑
Whoa, whoa! Now you're making fun of my bona fides?
喂喂!你现在是在取笑我的真诚度咯?
Can't make fun of something that's a null set.I feel like
空集可没什么东西好让我取笑的。我觉得
I should say "damn." Do it.Damn!
我应该说 "次奥"了 说吧。次奥!
Well, if you are so protective of the scientific method,
如果你这么想维护科学方法的话
perhaps we should use the next five weeks to finish what we started.
我们就应该用接下来的五周时间来完成我们开的头
Well, for science, maybe I will!
那为了科学说不定我就会呢!
For science, maybe you should!Fine! Fine!Good. Great.
为了科学你就是应该的!好吧! 好!行 很好
Do you want to go to our place and make out?
你想回去我们房间亲热吗?
Does Stephen Hawking roll through the quad?
史蒂芬?霍金上了四方海报吗?四方海报指英国电影海报的一种霍金2013年通过电影《霍金传》上了这种海报
The new neighbors are weird.
我们的新邻居真奇怪
