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Call me crazy. But this pizza just tastes less good.
你们可以觉得我疯了，但这披萨真的没那么好吃了
It's right angle. Try to make us learn to lunch.
没错，就是想让我们学会怎么好好吃午餐
Eddie, it's your girl.
埃迪，你妹子来了
Did she said hi?
她打招呼了吗
I don't know.
我不知道
Should I?! I don't know!
我该打招呼吗，我不知道
What is going on with you guys? I don't know.
你们怎么不说话啊，我不知道
It's been two weeks since the fall ball,
舞会已经过去两个星期了
and she hasn't even talked to me...
但她都没有跟我说过话
which is crazy because that mess was mad romantic.
真的太疯狂了，因为当时乱舞的时候浪漫到飞起
She punched me in the armpit.
她一拳打中我的胳肢窝
It was amazing.
感觉太美妙了
Yeah, that night was crazy.
对，那天晚上真疯狂
Becca T. And I split a Capri sun,
贝卡·踢和我共饮一杯可沛利饮料
and now she just walks around like nothing even happened.
但现在她却和我擦肩而过，好像什么都没发生过一样
We shared a straw.
我们可是共用一根吸管
I feel you.
我懂你的感觉
Sarah S. Slapped a slap bracelet on me at the dance.
萨拉·艾斯跳舞的时候把反扣手镯甩到我身上
Where is it now?
手镯现在在哪里
I lost it in the collection plate at church.
我把它落在教堂的奉献盘里了
Now it belongs to Jesus.
现在它属于耶稣了
I just don't get it.
我就是想不明白
I thought Alison really liked me.
我以为艾莉森是真的喜欢我
I guess I was wrong.
但我想我错了
Your girlfriend wanted me to give that to you.
你女朋友要我给你的
Wha-a-a-a...
搞什么
Right angle got caught in my pipe.
我被披萨呛到了
Talk to the boss's wife.
跟老板娘聊天
It's okay. She doesn't hate you. It's all in your head.
没事的，她不讨厌你的，都是你自己胡思乱想而已
How's it going, Jessica?
最近怎么样啊，杰西卡
Are you joking?
你在逗我吗
I... if it was funny. Was it funny?
我，如果好笑的话，你觉得好笑吗
Nothing is funny, Nancy.
一点都不好笑，南茜
I bought an investment property
我买了栋房子用来投资
which, it turns out, is riddled with termites.
结果发现房子里满是白蚁洞
That's right... termites are real.
没错，白蚁是真的
The house has already been tented, so now
房子已经在清理中了，所以现在
it's just sort of standing there losing money...
就是一栋矗在那的赔钱货
kind of like you.
跟你有点像啊
You did it, Nancy. You made her see you.
你做到了，南茜，你让她看见你了
And then she said, "Squeeze 'em?
然后她说，捏紧他们
Uh, I bought 'em!"
不好意思，我买了的
Boss, some customers want to meet you.
老板，有几位客人想要见你
They're celebrities... from television.
他们是名人，电视上的
I would like to introduce you
我很荣幸为您介绍
to Gus and Mey-Mey from "Good Morning Orlando."
来自《早安奥兰多》栏目的格斯和梅梅
It's okay. We're on at 4:00 A.M.
没关系，我们是凌晨四点档的
Our core demo is truckers clocking on
我们的核心观众群是刚上班的卡车司机
and hookers clocking off.
和下班的妓女
Well, both are welcome here at Cattleman's.
欢迎他们光临牧场牛排餐厅
I mean, as customers, not... we don't encourage prostitution.
我是说，作为消费者而来，不是，我们不鼓励卖淫
Is this a sting?
这是试探吗
Because you have to show me your badge if I ask you.
因为我要请你们亮出你们的证件
Boss, their show is on Channel 7...
老板，他们的节目在第七频道播出
you know, with the duck.
你知道的，那只鸭子
That does the weather. The weather duck.
播天气的那只，那只天气鸭
Oh. I love ducks.
我爱鸭子
Seriously, are you guys cops?
说真的，你们是警察吗（模仿唐老鸭）
Did you see that? That was amazing!
你瞧见了吗，太有才了
I really don't do impre...
我真的不模仿的
Adrian!
艾德里安
Okay, you have to come on our show.
好了，你得来上我们节目
Oh, no, I couldn't. You got to.
不，我不行，你必须得去
Yes, the audience would eat that up,
是的，观众们会很喜欢你的表演的
and... and you can talk about your restaurant.
还有，你可以讲讲你的餐厅
He'll do it!
他会去的
The exposure will increase business,
曝光度会增加生意的
which will help cover the unforeseen expenses
有助于弥补投资房产上
from the investment property.
没预见到的开销
What expenses?
什么开销
You were so funny today at the restaurant.
你今天在餐厅里可有意思了
Your impressions... they're really getting better.
你的模仿，真的越来越好了
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
Boys, your father is going to be on "Good Morning Orlando."
孩子们，你们的爸爸要上《早安奥兰多》了
With Gus and Mey-Mey?
和格斯还有梅梅一起吗
You just blew my mind!
真是不可思议
You just blew my... my flippin' mind!
真是太，太不可思议了
You watch that show?
你看那节目
So that's how you stay current. Huh.
所以你才能保持在流行前线上啊
What are you doing with your body?
你扭成这样是在干嘛
Celebrating.
庆祝
Alison is officially my girlfriend.
艾莉森正式成为我的女朋友了
What? When did that happen?
什么，什么时候的事情
Apparently, two weeks ago.
很显然，是在两周之前
I had no idea we were even dating.
我甚至都不知道我们是在约会
I guess that's how things work in 7th grade.
我想七年级的学生就是这样子的
Love moves fast and quiet, like Miss Jackson says.
正如杰克森小姐说的，爱情来无影去无踪
Well, if grandma had been awake, she would've pressed "Play,"
要是奶奶还醒着，她会按播放键的
and Janet would have said, "That's the Way Love Goes."
而珍妮特就会说，这就是爱
No, grandma, wait. It's too...
不要，奶奶，等等，太
Can't fight the music.
无法抵抗音乐的律动
'Sup? 'Sup?
你好啊，你好啊
'Sup?
你好哇
Eddie. We were just talking about Alison's friends.
埃迪，我们刚才在聊艾莉森的朋友们
Ugh. I knew this was coming.
呃，我就知道会是这样
I wish I could hook you guys up with my girl's homegirls,
我希望我能帮你们钓到我妹纸的闺蜜们
but you know why I can't, right?
但是你们知道为什么我不能，对吧
What? You're gonna make me say it?
什么，我非得说出来吗
Okay.
好吧
Brian, you need to grow.
布莱恩，长点个吧
Trent, dry-clean your jacket.
特伦特，干洗下你的夹克吧
Walter, racism.
沃特，种族偏见
And, Dave, I'm sorry, but you're a teardown.
还有，戴夫，不好意思，但是你已经玩完了
We already have girlfriends!
我们已经有女朋友了
What?! Who?
什么，谁
Like we said... Alison's friends.
我们说过了，艾莉森的朋友们
Apparently, we've all been dating since the fall ball.
显然，我们继秋季舞会后就都在约会了
Seriously? That's awesome!
真的假的，太棒了
Guess you guys got my overflow...
你们感受到我
trickle down love-onomics.
满到溢出来的爱了吧
Racism? Why am I a teardown?
种族偏见，我怎么就玩完了
Your girlfriends asked me
你女朋友要我来问你
to ask you if you guys want to group-date.
你们愿不愿意来场集体约会
The mall, today, 3:00, by the escalators.
商场，今天，三点，自动扶梯那
Yeah. Awesome!
好啊，太棒了
Yeah.
耶
Wait. Why are you the messenger, Ned?
等等，奈德，为什么是你传话
Just be at the mall, man.
乖乖去商场得了
Now what?
现在干嘛
Look!
看
I-I guess we go up.
我们上去吧
All right. Let's go up.
好的，我们上去
They're coming down!
她们下来了
But we're going up.
但是我们在往上
Hey! Hey!
嘿，嘿
Hey.
嘿
What just happened?
刚刚发生了什么
Should we go back down?
我们要回到下面去吗
They're not turning around.
她们没回头
They're walking into wet seal.
她们走进维特希尔服装店了
I...guess that was it.
我猜这就结束了
Cool!
赞
We just went on our first date!
我们刚进行了我们的第一次约会
Yeah!
耶
Celebrate with an Orange Julius?
来杯鲜果露庆祝下
Hell yeah, let's do it!
必须的，走吧
Trent, your nose is bleeding, man.
特伦特，你鼻子在流血
Hell yeah, it is!
必须的，是啊
Good morning, Orlando.
早上好，奥兰多
We want to take you live to Mindy Torres
现在来看看明迪·托雷斯在户外的
out in the field with some breaking news.
现场突发新闻报道
Mindy? A hullabaloo was caused this morning
明迪，今早有些骚乱
when an employee discovered an endangered gopher tortoise
因为有个雇员发现了一只濒危的哥法地鼠龟
blocking a rally's drive-through.
它挡住了莱利饭店的行车道
People have placed their orders, but cars are unable
人们已经点好单了
to drive through to pick up their orders.
但是车辆无法通过去取单
I need hash browns!
我要我的薯饼
Of course, everyone's first concern
当然，人们首要考虑的还是
is for the safety of the tortoise.
那只乌龟的安全
Coffee!
咖啡
Well, thank you, Mindy, and we will check back in
嗯，谢谢你，明迪
with you in a few hours for an update. Wait, what...
我们一会再联系你了解最新进展，等等
I'll tell you, Gus,
我跟你说哦，格斯
if a turtle was blocking me from my coffee,
要是有只乌龟挡着我去取咖啡
I'd super Mario it.
我会像超级玛丽一样踩扁它
Okay.
好的
Well, it's time for the Gus-light,
嗯，现在进入格斯之光
where we shine a spotlight on local businesses.
我们聚焦当地企业
Joining us today is local entrepreneur...
今日到场的节目嘉宾的是当地企业家
Louis Huang.
路易斯·黄
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to join us.
感谢您百忙之中抽空参加我们的节目
Well, thank you for, uh, having me.
谢谢你邀请我
Uh, as you know, my restaurant is Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse,
呃，你知道的，我的餐馆是牧场牛排餐厅
which is exit 4b, uh, off of I-4, uh, north.
在4B，呃，I-4，呃，北边
But if you're coming south, it's exit 4a off of I-4 south.
但是要是你从南边来的话，地址在4A I-4南边
Great directions. Yeah.
很好的导航，是的
And in addition to being a cattleman,
除去饭店老板的身份外
Louis here is also a funnyman.
路易斯还是个很有趣的人
He did some amazing Right
他前几天，没错
celebrity impressions for us the other day.
模仿名人的表演真的非常棒
Yes, he did.
是，确实是
I can't see nothin'.
我什么都看不见
Cut my eyes, Mick. Cut 'em.
挖了我的眼睛吧，迈克，挖了它们
I can't see.
我看不见了
Hey, Rocky Balboa is in the studio all of a sudden.
嘿，像是洛奇·巴尔博亚到了我们演播室一样
You got it!
没错
Why... why is that so funny?
怎么，怎么这么好笑
Because Stallone talks funny!
因为史泰龙很搞笑
You're killing it!
你太棒了
You're very good!
你真棒
What have you done?
你都干了些什么
You're supposed to go out there
你本该在那
and promote the restaurant, not make a fool out of yourself.
推广我们的餐馆，而不是做小丑
What are you talkin' 'bout, woman? You love my impressions.
你在说什么，女士，你明明很喜欢我的模仿
That was Arnold.
那是阿诺德
Not on television.
不要在电视上玩这套
What's the difference?
有什么区别啊
Name one Chinese person on TV.
举一个中国人上电视的例子
Pat Morita.
森田则之
Japanese, and you know it.
他是日本人，你知道的
What's your point?
你想说什么
We don't get opportunities to be on TV.
我们很难得在电视上露面
That's why when we do, we need to present our best face...
也就是说当我们有机会时，要把我们最好的一面展现出来
not clown around, like you did today.
不是像你昨天那样扮丑
They loved me.
他们喜欢我
You know what it reminded me of?
你知道你让我想起什么了吗
Your favorite character.
你最喜欢的电影角色
No.
不
From "Sixteen Candles."
《十六根蜡烛》
Don't say it.
别说出来
Long... Duk... Dong.
龙德东
Yeah, so, 3 bucks an hour to make little pizza tables...
生产披萨盒子里的小桌子一小时能赚三美元
not bad, right?
挺好的，是吧
Oh, here comes a cab.
来了一辆出租车
You should yell "Automobile!"
你应该大声喊，汽车
Ha ha. Right.
哈哈，对啊
Louis, you missed your opportunity, man.
路易斯，你怎么能错失良机呢
You should've yelled
你应该大声喊
"Oh, sexy girlfriend!"
哦，性感的妹子
Right.
说得对
Yeah. Yeah.
是吧
The Chinese guy in that movie
那个电影里中国人的形象
became what everybody thought all Chinese people were.
让大家以为中国人都是如此
He made people think that was okay.
他让人们觉得这无可厚非
That's why when we get opportunities like this,
所以当我们有这样的机会时
it matters.
要好好把握
Look, I was just a person
我只是一个小人物
joking around on a morning talk show.
在早晨脱口秀里谈笑风生
This is not a Long Duk Dong situation.
这和龙德东不是一码事
Hello, dad. Saw the show.
爸爸，你好，我看过节目了
Very hurtful.
我很受伤
Really?
真的吗
I taught you Donald Duck.
唐老鸭是我教给你的
And you stole it!
你抄袭我
Fellas, we're doing it!
伙计们，干得漂亮
We livin'.
不枉此生
Remember when we went on the mall date
还记得我们在商场
with our girlfriends
和女朋友约会的时候
and they were like "Hi!"
她们说嗨
And we were like "Hi"?
我们说嗨
Dave.
戴夫
Becca G. Wants to break up with you.
贝卡·吉要和你分手
I don't understand.
我不明白
I thought I was dating Sarah S.
我以为我和萨拉·艾斯是一对
What? No.
什么，才不是呢
I'm dating Sarah S. You're dating Becca G.
我和萨拉·艾斯在一起，你的女朋友是贝卡·吉
Well, you were.
好吧，前女友
No, I'm dating Becca G.
不，贝卡·吉是我女票
But wait. Then why did she break up with you?
等等，她为什么要和你分手
Hold up. Did you just say "Becca G." Or "Becca T."?
等一下，你刚才说的是贝卡·吉还是贝卡·踢
'Cause I'm dating Becca T.
因为贝卡·踢可是和我在一起呢
I think.
吧
This is messed up.
完全乱了
You guys don't even know who you're dating?!
你们连和谁约会都不清楚吗
Do you?
你知道吗
Yeah, man. I'm dating Alison.
当然了，我和艾莉森在一起呢
How can you be so sure?
你怎么能这么确定呢
Because we really like each other,
因为我们真心相爱
and we danced in the mosh pit at the fall ball.
而且我们在舞会的狂舞区一起跳舞
She pushed me in the mosh pit, too.
她在狂舞区也推了我一把
Me too.
加一
Me too.
加二
Me too.
加三
Hey, we saw you on "Good Morning Orlando."
我们在《早安奥兰多》上看到你了
Hilarious!
太搞笑了
Don't push it,
别逼我
or I'll give you a war you won't believe.
不然我会给你好看（《第一滴血》中的经典对白）
Automobile!
汽车
What did you just say?
你刚才说什么
I ordered the veal.
我点了小牛肉
He did.
是这样的
This guy cracks me up!
这家伙真是逗死我了
I'll give you a war you won't believe!
我会给你好看
Long... Duk... Dong!
龙，德，东
Automobile!
汽车
Sexy girlfriend!
性感的妹子
And then everyone was laughing,
然后所有人都狂笑不止
but in a gross way, which made me feel gross.
笑得很恶心，让我也觉得有点恶心
Are people laughing with me or at me?
他们是在和我说笑，还是在笑话我呢
At you. That's what I was saying.
笑话你，我之前是怎么说的
I need to go back on that show.
我得再去上一次节目
I will iron your television pants.
我去把你的上电视专用裤熨好
So, Alison pushed us all in the mosh pit,
这么说来，艾莉森在舞池推了我们每个人
but were those pushes platonic or passionate?
但她对谁才是真心真意的呢
Evidence is inconclusive.
证据还不够确切
Who are you, woman?
你到底是谁，女人
Well, at least we know who you're dating, Walter.
至少我们知道你和谁约会了，沃特
What do you mean?
什么意思
Well, you know...
你懂的
I'm just saying...
我的意思是
I-it's the south.
南方那个
That's messed up, man.
真是胡说
I mean, Edith is the one I like, but it's unrelated.
我的意思是，我的确喜欢伊迪丝，但这并不相关
There's got to be a way to figure out who our girlfriends are.
肯定有办法弄清楚谁是我们的女票
Why don't you just ask them?
你们为什么不直接问问她们
You crazy, ese?
你疯啦
You have any idea how mad they'll be at us?
你知道她们会多生气吗
I think if you're honest... Just go away, okay?
我认为如果你们能真诚地，快走吧，好吗
This is big-kid business.
这是大孩子的正事儿
Hey, I'm just here to get my tub of gak
我只是来把你不问自取的
you borrowed without asking.
东西拿回去
Of course there's hair in it.
果然里面有头发
Hello?
你好
It's one of the girls.
是其中一个女孩
Is it Becca G.? Did she get my letter?
是贝卡·吉吗，她收到我的信了吗
I'll find out who it is.
我会弄清楚她是谁
Sorry about that.
抱歉啦
So, you like soda?
你喜欢喝苏打水吗
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
啊哈
Yeah, sure. That sounds great.
好的，听起来不错
Peace.
拜拜
I don't know who that was.
我不知道是谁
But the girls do want to have another group date...
但是她们明天想去旱冰场
at the roller rink tomorrow.
再来一次集体约会
That's suicide!
那简直是自杀
They'll bust us wide open,
她们肯定会看穿我们
and then none of us will have girlfriends.
这样谁都别想有女朋友了
I can't go back to being single.
我不要再做单身狗
At the rink, all of us will fall down at the same time,
在旱冰场我们一起摔倒
and then the girl who's our girlfriend
这样我们的女朋友就会过来
will come to help us because she loves us,
因为她爱你，所以肯定会来拉你一把
and then we'll know who she is.
然后就真相大白啦
What if two girls help us up? Do we get two?
要是有两个女孩来拉我呢，我就有两个女朋友了吗
Well, we finally have an answer
我们终于能够解答
to that question everyone's been asking...
这个大家都在疑惑的问题了
why doesn't anybody move the damn thing?
为什么没人把那玩意搬走
Apparently, human touch
很明显，人类的接触
would render the endangered tortoise infertile.
会导致濒危灭绝的乌龟不育
Maybe that tortoise should try
也许那只乌龟应该尝尝
being an unmarried woman over 40.
四十未嫁的滋味
Oh!
哦
Stay strong, mind. He's out there.
坚强一点，明迪，真命天子会有的
Yeah, yeah.
是啊
Nothing sadder than a woman over 27.
没有什么比过了二十七岁的女人更悲剧了
Oh.
哦
Next up, we have our old friend
接下来，有请我们的老朋友
who's back in the studio... Louis Huang.
路易斯·黄回到演播室
Louis, you were cracking us up the other day
路易斯，你前两天的模仿
with your impressions.
真是逗死我们了
Well, you know, I'm glad I exist to entertain you.
你知道的，我很高兴我的存在是为了取悦你
So, do you do Bill Cosby?
你会模仿比尔·考斯比吗
I love him.
我很喜欢他
Me too. America's moral compass.
我也是，他是美国的道德指南针
Well, you know, I'm already doing an impression.
你知道吗，我已经在模仿了
Of... of what?
模仿什么
A successful Chinese-American business owner
一个努力工作付出的
who's worked hard for everything he has.
成功的美籍华裔商人
Uh, o-okay.
好吧
All right, how about we, uh...
那不如这样吧
How about we talk about your restaurant, right?
我们谈谈你经营的饭店好吗
Yeah! That seems to be what you want to...
看起来你想和我们讲讲
Okay. Well, it's a steakhouse.
好的，那是一家牛排餐馆
Oh, yum! An American restaurant.
好吃哒，一家美式餐馆
That's right... Chinese people can make all kinds of food.
没错，中国人能做各式各样的食物
Oh! I made pot stickers once... from frozen.
哦，我曾经做过锅贴，速冻的
So, I-is that all Asian culture is to you... pot stickers?
所以这就是你眼中的东方文化吗，锅贴
No! No! I didn't mean that.
不，我不是这个意思
You know what? Let's talk about race.
这样吧，我们聊一聊种族问题
No, that's a little too serious for the Gus-light...
不，这话题有点太严肃了
Yeah! ...as far as I'm concerned.
是啊，我们换个话题吧
Oh, okay. So you don't want me to be serious?
哦，是这样吗，你们不想让我认真起来
You just want me to be joking around, be the clown.
你们只想看我开玩笑扮丑吗
"The Chinese guy's on TV! Make everybody laugh!"
电视上的那种中国人，逗大家笑的小丑
Let's go to commercial.
让我们先看一段广告
Why were you so serious?!
你那么认真干嘛
It's a morning show. They have a duck that does the weather.
那只是个早晨节目，他们还让一只鸭子报天气呢
You told me that...
是你告诉我
y-you said they were laughing at...
你说他们取笑我
I... you got in my head!
我被你洗脑了
Well, now everybody thinks
现在大家都觉得
Chinese people have no sense of humor!
中国人一点幽默感都没有
What? Did they think we had one before?
什么，他们之前没有过这种想法吗
Well, I don't know, but they definitely don't now.
我不知道，但现在他们肯定都这样认为了
You need to go back out there
你必须回去
and show people that you can laugh at yourself.
让他们知道你会自黑自嘲
But be serious, too.
但也要认真一点
A couple of light jokes... nothing political.
说一些轻松的笑话，不要讲政治
But don't be boring, either.
但也不要太无聊
Don't make waves, but be interesting.
别挑衅，有趣一点
And pleasant.
愉快一点
And also smart. You should be smart.
聪明一点，你应该聪明一点
And tall.
还要高一点
You realize doing all that is impossible, right?
你自己清楚这些全部达标是不可能的吧
I know.
我知道
I just want it to be perfect.
我只是想十全十美
Well, one person can't be everything.
毕竟一个人不是万能的
That weather duck isn't going out there
天气鸭出来做节目的时候
thinking about representing all ducks.
也没想着要代表所有鸭子
No, he's probably thinking
他可能是在想着
"What the heck is going on here?"
“现在又发生了什么破事”
Oh, that's not funny! That's not funny.
噢太好笑了，不好笑
Yes, it is, and it's okay that it's funny.
就是好笑，好笑一点没关系的
And sometimes a guy doing an impression
有时候一个人在模仿别人的时候
is just a guy doing an impression.
也只是单纯在模仿
Okay. Fine.
好吧
Then go back on the show and just be yourself.
那就重新回到节目上，做你真实的自己
I'm banned from the studio.
我被逐出演播室了
Maybe you don't have to go back into the studio.
或许你不一定要回到演播室
Okay, guys, remember the plan...
好了，兄弟们，记住我们的计划
same time, fall.
同一时间，摔倒
Whichever girl comes to each of us, that's our girlfriend.
谁来扶我们，就是我们的女朋友
Got it.
明白
Damn it, Brian!
我去，布莱恩
We're supposed to fall together!
我们应该一起摔的
I have weak ankles.
我的脚踝很柔弱的
Couples skate. Grab your partner's hand.
情侣溜冰，抓住你搭档的手
Come on. Let's skate.
来吧，我们一起去溜冰
Later, nerds.
一会见，呆子们
That's it. I'm going in.
不管了，我豁出去了
Ew!
咦
Why are you grabbing my hand?
你干嘛抓我的手
I thought you were my girlfriend.
我以为你是我女朋友
What are you talking about, Trent? I'm your girlfriend.
你在说什么，特伦特，我才是你女朋友
How do you not know who your own girlfriend is?
你怎么可以连自己的女朋友都不知道是哪个
Hey! Leave him alone!
嘿，别针对他
None of us knew who we were dating.
我们都不知道我们女朋友是谁
What?!
什么
Why you gonna tell them that?
你干嘛要告诉她们
Wait... you didn't know we were dating?
等等，你不知道我们在交往吗
I mean, I did, but, you know,
我的意思是，我知道，但是
you pushed a lot of people in the mosh pit,
你在群魔乱舞区推过很多人
so I made an evidence board and...
所以我做了个证据板，然后
I can't believe this.
简直难以相信
Couple coming through!
秀恩爱的来了
Breaking news...
重大消息
another tortoise has appeared in the shrubbery,
又有一只乌龟出现在灌木丛里
in an apparent effort
很显然
to guide the first tortoise to safety.
它在尽力引导第一只乌龟回到安全地方
Oh...
噢
Um, I'm glad you said that, uh, Mindy.
额，很高兴听到你这么说，明迪
Sorry to barge in like this,
很抱歉这样打断你们
but they banned me from the studio.
但他们把我逐出演播室了
Uh, Gus, Mey-Mey...
格斯，梅梅
I just want to apologize for yesterday.
我只是想为昨天的事道歉
I wasn't myself, and, uh, you know,
那不是真正的我，你们知道
myself is... is all I can be, really,
我能做到的，就是我自己，真的
and occasionally a smooth criminal.
有时候也是个犯罪高手（迈克尔·杰克逊作品之一）
Shamone! Eee-hee!
来吧（迈克尔·杰克逊自创的发音）
Look at that. Hey, forget about the Jackson 5.
你看，嘿，别说杰克逊五兄弟了（迈克尔·杰克逊的组合）
We got the Jackson 6 right here.
现在有个六兄弟了
Oh!
噢
I can't believe you get paid more than me.
我不敢相信你工资比我还高
Ooh!
呼
Ah! Ah!
啊，啊
Michael Jackson?!
迈克尔·杰克逊
I taught him that!
这也是我教他的
Ooh!
哦
Did you figure out your "Big-kids business"?
你解决好你的“大孩子问题”了吗
What's wrong?
怎么了
I screwed things up with Alison.
我搞砸了我和艾莉森的关系
I really liked her, and I don't know what to do.
我真的很喜欢她，我不知道怎么做
Have you tried talking to her?
你有试过和她聊聊吗
No.
没有
Why not?
为什么
Well, 'cause I don't think
因为我觉得
that's how they do things in seventh grade.
七年级谈恋爱不是这么做的
How's that working for you?
结果呢
Alison.
艾莉森
Hey, you got anything to say to her,
嘿，如果你要和她说话
you can pass a note through me.
你可以传纸条给我
It's okay, Ned.
没事的，奈德
I'm listening.
我听着
To be honest, I didn't even know we were dating,
说实话，我甚至都不知道我们在交往
and when I found out we were,
然后等我发现原来是真的
I didn't want to do anything to mess it up,
我不想出任何差池
because I like you a lot.
因为我很喜欢你
And I don't know if we're supposed to be saying that
我也不知道七年级了我们还能不能
in seventh grade or if we're supposed to be
这么说话，也不知道这段对话
having this conversation on an escalator.
是否应该发生在电梯上
I don't know how any of this works.
我一点都不知道应该怎么做
Yeah. It's weird.
是啊，很别扭
I had so much fun with you at the fall ball,
秋季舞会的时候我和你玩的很开心
but then my friends were like, "You can't talk to him.
但我的朋友都说，你不能和他讲话
You're dating him."
你在和他交往呢
Well, I'm sorry we broke up.
好吧，我很遗憾我们分手了
Broke up? We didn't break up. We didn't?
分手，我们没分手啊，没吗
No. That was our first fight, and we got through it.
没有，那只是我们的第一次争吵，我们也安然度过了
We did?
没事了
Yes. And now we're stronger than ever.
嗯，我们的感情更加坚固了
A'ight. A'ight.
没错，没错
So, are all my friends still dating your friends?
那么，我的朋友还在和你的朋友交往吗
Oh, hell no.
噢，才没有呢
In fact, they shouldn't come around for a while...
说句实话，他们最近还是别凑过来了
especially Dave.
尤其是戴夫
A'ight. A'ight.
没错，没错
That makes sense.
很有道理
Walk me to class?
送我去上课吗
Okay, but just so I'm clear...
好的，但只是想问清楚
you're my girlfriend?
你是我女朋友吧
Yes.
嗯
I'll explain on the way. Come on.
我在路上和你解释清楚，走吧
The number-one dating rule is to listen to a woman.
谈恋爱的第一大准则就是，听女人说话
"Listen... To... Her."
听，她，说话
What if what she's saying is, uh... Boring?
如果她说的东西很无聊呢
You should still be listening to her.
你也应该听她说
Even if she's talking about horses?
如果她谈论的是马呢
Especially when she's talking about horses.
尤其是她在谈论马的时候
What if you're scared of horses?
如果你怕马呢
Don't be scared of horses!
那就别怕马
"Don't... Be... Scared... Of horses."
别，怕，马
