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Hey, guys, I got a surprise. Uh, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, I think Raj beat you to it.
伙计们，我有个惊喜。如果是女性通便酸奶的话，估计拉杰先你一步买了
No.Bernadette's going to be playing with us. So, that's pretty cool, huh? Right? Sure it is, yeah.
不是，拉杰要跟我们一起玩，很棒，是吧?肯定很棒的
What, you invited your girlfriend?! This is supposed to be our weekend!
什么，你邀请了你的女朋友? 这周末本是咱哥几个一起的
I had no choice. Last night, she said, "Why don't we go out for brunch tomorrow and then maybe the Arboretum. And I said, "Well, no,
我也没办法。昨晚，她说"明天我们去吃早午餐，然后去植物园吧? "我说"不行，
"I promised the guys I was going to play a video game with them all weekend. And she said, "That sounds like fun. Can I come, too?
我跟哥几个说好了，周末要跟他们玩游戏"，然后她说，"听起来很好玩，我能加入吗? "
"And then I didn't answer for a second, and then she said, "Well, do you not want me to come? And then I bought her a new laptop and the game, and she's parking the car right now.
我沉默了一小会儿，然后她说"你不想让我去吗? "我只好给她买了个新笔电和游戏碟，她现在在停车呢
Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?
现在适合用响鞭软件吗?
Uh, it is, but I think you might've waited too long for it to be funny.
很适合，但你可能错过最佳时机了
I was wrong; it's still funny. Oh, good.
我错了，还是很好笑，-那就好
Amy, what's wrong?
艾米，怎么了?
My boyfriend's a jerk.
我男友是个混蛋
Well, I know he didn't cheat on you, so what happened?
我知道他没偷吃，所以出什么事了?
I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself, and everybody was like, "Where's this boyfriend you're always talking about?
我一个人去了姑姑的聚会，每个人都问，"你常提起的那男友呢?"
"Is he real, or did you make him up like Armen" the miniature horse breeder?
"他是真的吗，还是像迷你马饲养员阿曼那样""也是编出来的?"
"Who's Armen the miniature horse breeder?
"谁是迷你马饲养员阿曼?"
The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back.
为了让我家人别烦我，而编造出的男友
It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question "How'd you two meet?
他们一问"你们在哪儿认识的?"我就露馅了
" I would have thought at a miniature horse show. Oh, that's good.
我会说是在迷你马展上。这个不错
I panicked and said Woodstock.
我一慌就说成伍德斯托克了(摇滚音乐节举办地)
I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family.
我就是想跟家人炫耀一下谢尔顿
Sure, I get that.I mean, he's your first boyfriend and all.
我明白，毕竟他是你初恋
Not just my first boyfriend, he's the best boyfriend. I mean, think about it.I'm dating Sheldon Cooper.
不仅仅是我的初恋，还是最佳男友，想想吧，我可是在和谢尔顿·库珀交往啊
Yes. On purpose. He's handsome, he's lanky, he's brilliant, and his skin has that pale, waxy quality.
是啊，你还别有用心呢。他英俊，高挑，聪明绝顶，他的皮肤如蜡像般苍白
Well, sickly is the new sexy. Yeah.
嗯，病态就是性感新标准。就是
You know, Amy, sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone you really care about,
艾米，如果你跟很喜欢的人交往
the sucky part is, it leaves you open to getting hurt.
讨厌的就是，你很容易受伤害
Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you?
你会担心莱纳德伤害你吗?
That's hilarious. No.
怎么会呢，才不会
Get that guy! Get that guy! "pew, pew, pew, pew"
打他! 打他!"砰砰砰砰"
Dr.Rostenkowski, it may interest you to know that saying "pew, pew, pew" isn't as effective as pressing your blaster key.
罗斯滕科斯基博士，你可能会想知道说"砰砰砰"，还不如直接按下射击键
In the same way that saying "whee! " doesn't make the land speeder go.
还有，就算你再怎么喊"喂"浮空飞艇也不会动（出自"愤怒的小鸟"）。
Raj, Imperial Troopers on your tail.
拉杰，帝国士兵在你后面
Got him. When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence, I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff.
去死吧。当年甘地主张非暴力主义时，他肯定不知道杀人有这么爽
All right, I think we got them all.Let's divide up the loot.
好了，全灭了，开始分装备吧
Ooh, look at this pretty purple robe I just got.
看我这件漂亮的紫色长袍
You should put on yours and then we'll match.
你穿回你那件，我们就成情侣装了
But I worked hard to get this armor.
但我好不容易才搞到这件盔甲
Sorry, I just thought it'd be nice if people knew we were a couple. Fine, I'll change.
不好意思，我只是想让别人知道，我们是一对。好吧，我换
I don't think I want to play a game. Oh, come on! They're playing one across the hall—we should, too.
我不太想玩游戏。来嘛，他们在那边玩他们的，我们玩我们的
Okay, we are gonna take turns bouncing a quarter off the table, and if it goes into this cup, the other person has to drink.
好了，我们轮流在桌上弹硬币，进到杯里的话，另一个人就得干一杯
Then you get to go again... Like that?
然后可以继续弹……像这样吗?
Wow! Yeah, b-beginner's luck. So, now I will drink this entire cup of beer, and you will go again...
哇哦，是的，新手运气都比较好，现在我干一杯啤酒，你继续...
All right. So, yeah, okay, now I'm gonna drink this entire cup and then I'm going to drink another one.
好吧，好吧，我先喝完这杯，然后再喝另一杯
Okay, seriously, stop.What the hell?
好了，停，停，停，搞毛呢?
Spent a lot of my childhood throwing coins into wishing wells hoping for friends.
儿时我经常往许愿池里丢硬币，祈求交到朋友
At a certain point, you start doing trick shots just to keep things interesting.
久而久之，就搞点花样增加乐趣
Whoa, give me a second to catch up here.Hold on.
等等，我先喝完这些
That'd be my boyfriend happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me. Wars. What?
那肯定是我男朋友，宁愿和他朋友，玩那白痴"星际迷航"游戏，也不愿意和我出去。大战，什么?
Star Wars.They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
星球大战，你搞混的话他们会疯的
What's the difference? There's absolutely no difference.
有什么区别吗?完全没有
How do I get him to treat me better?
怎么才能让他对我好点?
All right.Let me give you a little girlfriend 101.
好吧，我教你点女友必备常识
Usually the first move out of the gate is you withhold sex, but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty.
通常第一步是你不和他嘿咻，但那要等谢尔顿到青春期后，才能管点用
So, I'd say... give him the silent treatment.
所以，你应该...和他冷战
No, he loves that.
不，那样他更开心
Our record for sitting in a room together and not speaking to each other is six-and-a half hours.
我们共处一室不说话的记录是，六个半小时
He said it was a magical evening.
他说那晚感觉相当奇妙
All right, then we're gonna have to go with an oldie but goodie; making a scene.
好吧，那只能用经典招了，大吵大闹
I don't think I'd be good at that. That's why you're lucky to have me.
我做不来。有我在呢
Back in Omaha, there are two different restaurants I'm not allowed into. Both Chili's.
姐在奥马哈时，有两家餐厅禁止我入内，都是小辣椒餐厅（美食烧烤餐厅连锁）
Bernadette, remember, your character's the healer in our group. You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard.
伯纳黛特，你是我们队的治疗，负责给我们大家补血，不仅仅是霍华德
I can't help it. My Howie Wowie has an owie.
没办法，我家小华仔老是掉血血
That is the most sickeningly sweet thing I have ever experienced.
这是我听过最恶心的甜言蜜语了
And I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine.
比我用糖果条喝果珍还甜
Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you, and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends. Yeah, you pick that bone.You pick that bone clean!
谢尔顿·库珀，我有件事要跟你说，让你所有朋友评评理。是啊，评评理，好好评评理
I'm gonna publicly shame you, and then sit back as societal pressure compels you to modify your behavior.
我会当众羞辱你，然后让社会舆论逼你改过自新
Ooh, buuurn! And if you don't start treating me better, I'm leaving you for a miniature horse breeder named Armen.
真狠呀。如果你不对我好点，我就离开你，找个叫阿曼的迷你马饲养员
Armen who? Armen... damn it.
谁是阿曼?阿曼……该死
Look, Sheldon, she wanted to show you off to her family, and you stood her up, okay?
谢尔顿，她想把你介绍给她家人，然后你失约了
Look at this adorable, smushy face. Smush, smush, smush.
看看这张可爱的肉肉脸。肉肉，肉肉，肉肉
You're hurting me. No, Sheldon hurt you.
你弄疼我了。不，是谢尔顿伤的你
Before; now it's you.
以前是他，现在是你
I think I understand.
我明白了
You're the one person who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend, but that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh.
只有你可以说，谢尔顿·库珀是你男朋友，但你若不能将他活生生地呈现给别人，这也就毫无意义
I forget what I bring to the party and what I take away when I leave.
我差点忘了我拿了什么来，我走时还要带走的
Please accept these valuable Cooper Coupons...as restitution.
请收下这些珍贵的库珀优惠券……作为补偿
Sheldon, she doesn't want your stupid... Ooh, Science Center. Redeeming. Let's go.
谢尔顿，她才不要你的白痴……科学馆，这个不错，咱走吧
Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler. Let me get my coat.
有你的，艾米·菲拉·福勒，我去拿外套
Oh, grow up, Leonard. But e-excuse me, I have something to say.
别幼稚了，莱纳德。不好意思，我有话要说
None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend.
可能你们都不知道，我非常期待这个周末
It was gonna be like the old days... the four of us hanging out playing video games before you guys all got girlfriends.
我们能像从前一样……就我们四个一起玩游戏，那时你们都没女朋友
Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend?
你们知道就我一个人单身的滋味吗?
Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
就算某天有了，我也还是排在谢尔顿·库珀后面
And that's how a girl makes a scene.
这才是女孩大吵大闹的范本
I'm sorry, sweetie.You're right.You deserve your weekend. Come on, Amy, let's go.
对不起，亲爱的，你是对的，这周末是你应得的。好了，艾米，我们走吧
What about the Science Center?
科学馆呢?
I'll let you hold my hair while I throw up.
我要是吐了，让你帮我扶头发
Rain check. I'm gonna go, too.
下次吧。我也该走了
I'll miss you. I'll miss you. I'll miss you more. No, I'll... Just leave!
我会想你的，我也会想你的。我会更想你，不，我会更……赶紧走吧
Okay, now.This is the way it's supposed to be.
好了，这才对嘛
Men together, fighting the forces of evil. Hear! Hear!
勇士们，让我们一起打败邪恶势力吧。遵命
I can't believe this is only 64 calories.
不敢相信，这东西只有64卡路里
Howard Joel Wolowitz! I've been worried sick for two days, and I know you turned off your phone!
霍华德·乔尔·沃洛维茨!我整整担心你两天了，知道你关机了
You open up this door right now because I've had it up to here!
我都到这了，你赶紧给我开门
I have been to the morgue and the hospital, and I spent the last half hour walking up these ferkakta stairs!
我去了太平间和医院，然后用了半小时爬这天杀的楼梯
That's my ride; got to go.
来接我啦，我该走了
