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Hey, would you like to hear some songs I've rewritten to get children interested in the hard sciences?
你们想听听我改编的一些促进儿童对自然科学的产生兴趣的歌吗？
Sure. Really?
好啊。你不是吧？
Yeah. Well, I like music, I like science, I like making fun of Sheldon. Hit it.
是啊。我喜欢音乐，也喜欢科学，我还喜欢嘲笑谢尔顿。开唱吧。
"There was a scientist who had a theory. And James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-a-m-e-s. C-l-e-r-k. Space MAXWELL.And James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o"
“有名科学家提出了一个理论。他叫詹姆斯·克拉克·麦克斯韦哟。詹姆斯克拉克，空格，麦克斯韦。他叫詹姆斯·克拉克·麦克斯韦哟。”
"There was a scientist who had a theory. And James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. A-m-e-s" Uh, okay, okay. Uh, we-we get it.
“有名科学家有个理论。他叫詹姆斯·克拉克·麦克斯韦哟。姆斯”行了行了，我们明白了。
Perhaps you'd prefer this one."The itsy bitsy spider is not an insect at all. Because it has eight legs. And two body parts"
或许你会比较喜欢这首。“可爱蜘蛛，不是昆虫哟。脚长了八只。身体有两段”
That's pretty cool, Sheldon.
蛮酷的，谢尔顿。
Thank you. Do either of you know Beyonce? I'd love her to get behind it.
谢谢。你们俩有谁认识碧昂斯[女歌手]吗？我想让她也来支持这计划。
Hey. Hey. Hello.
好啊。好啊。好啊。
You guys know the new Discovery class missions that NASA's been working on? Yeah.
你们知道宇航局最近在弄的发现计划吗？知道啊。（宇航局投入成本由低到高分别是发现计划、 新疆界计划 、探索计划 、旗舰计划）
Well, they're looking to include a message from Earth in case one of them is encountered by alien life.
他们想要在里面加入一段来自地球的讯息，以防哪天真碰见了外星生命。
When I encountered alien life, II discovered that the key thing was not to sit in its spot.
我遇见外星人的时候，我发现到最重要的事情就是别抢了他的专座。
All right, you can't breathe our air without an inhaler, he's allergic to Earth nuts, but I'm the alien.
你吸地球空气还得依赖呼吸器[哮喘]，他对地球的坚果过敏，还好意思说我外星人呢。
Anyway, I'm among a handful of scientists that have been asked to submit a design proposal for the message and its delivery system.
反正我和少数几位科学家被要求提交一份方案，设计讯息本身及其传达系统。
Excellent. Congratulations.
太棒了。恭喜啊。
And I was wondering if any of you guys would like to help me do it.
所以我在想你们有谁愿意来帮忙我呢。
Are you kidding? Yes. What did you have in mind?
你在开玩笑吗？当然愿意啦。你有什么构想了吗？
I'll tell you exactly what you should do: avoid the presumption of the Terran sensory input paradigm.
我来告诉你应该怎么做：避免对地球人感知模式的先入为主。
Yeah, absolutely. You need a device capable of delivering information across a wide range of perceptual modalities.
完全正确。你需要有个能用更多元化感知传播形式来投放讯息的仪器。
Any intelligent organism would at the very least need the ability to locate the position of objects in space. So the ideal interstellar lingua franca would be haptic.
任何智能生物最少都需要有知晓物体在空间中所在位置的能力。所以最理想的星际沟通方式应该是触觉。
Ooh, how about a 3D tactile communicator rigged for cross-sensory transposition?
改造一台三维触感传输器好让它能多类型感知传输跟我料想的一模一样。
Exactly what I expected. Two people forcing their ideas on me and only one gentleman who could be bothered to ask me what my thoughts were.
两个人把想法强灌到我脑里，而只有一位绅士愿意问我有什么构想。
You two are out. Congratulations, Leonard, you're on the team.
你们俩出局了。恭喜，莱纳德，你入围了。
My mommy raised a gentleman.
我妈咪培养了个绅士。
Hey. Thanks for coming by. Yeah. I'm excited to help.
谢谢你过来。我很乐意来帮忙啊。
I would have included the others, but...you know exactly what would've happened. They would've taken over the project and bossed us around.
我不是不愿意叫上另外两个，可...你也知道他们来了会怎么样。他们会抢过这个计划，还对我们颐指气使。
I get it. Uh, just this morning, Sheldon wouldn't let me put almond milk on my GrapeNuts because he said it was a theoretical nut conflict.
我懂。就今天早上，谢尔顿还不允许我在早餐"浆果与坚果"里加杏仁奶，他说理论这算坚果大战。
You should have told him to mind his own business.
你应该叫他少多管闲事。
Yeah. That's better than what I did say, which was, "Fine, I'll eat them with club soda."
是啊，这句话比我当时回答的那句好多了。我回了"好吧，我配气泡水吃吧。"
What makes them think they're always in charge of everything?
他们凭啥觉得自己可以永远掌控一切啊？
Mmm, they're alpha males.
他们是雄性帝王"α"人格嘛。
What does that make us?
那我们俩算啥？
We could be betas. They're second in charge.
我们可以当宰相"β"，一人之下万人之上。
Okay, that sounds good.
这样听起来还行。
Or we could be omegas. They get pushed around by the alphas and the betas.
或者我们可以是死老百姓"Ω"。任帝王将相蹂躏玩弄。
Okay, that sounds like us.
听起来的确很像我们。
Whatever. There's no alphas here, and this is your project. You're in charge. How do you want to start?
都无所谓了。这里没有帝王，而这是你的项目。你来做主，你想怎么开始？我
I don't know. How do you want to start?
不知道。你想怎么开始呢？
I don't know. Should we call Sheldon and Howard?
不知道啊。我们应该打给谢尔顿跟霍华德吗？
No. We can do this by ourselves.
不用。我们可以自己搞定。
Okay. Great. How do you want to start?
好的，行。你想怎么开始？
I don't know. How do you want to start?
我不知道，那你想怎么开始？
Sheldon. Sheldon. Sheldon.
谢尔顿。谢尔顿。谢尔顿。
I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
我敢说你一开始是为了嘲笑我，但敲完第三下时，你发现有一股莫名的愉悦感涌上心头。
Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
是啊，搞得人家都想再来一次了。
I don't recommend it. You'll be doing it the rest of your life. Anyway, if you're looking for Leonard, he's with Koothrappali.
我不建议这么做，你这辈子都会戒不掉。如果你是来找莱纳德，他去库萨帕里家了。
Uh, no, I actually came to talk to you.
不是，我其实是来找你谈谈。
How nice. Here are some topics that interest me: quantum mechanics, trains, flags...No, no. It's about my acting career.
这么好啊。给你提供几个我有兴趣的话题：量子力学、 火车、 旗帜...不是不是，是来谈我的演艺事业。
Oh, sorry. That's not on the list. Wha-?
抱歉。这不在话题名单之上。什么？
Oh, wait. No. How about we split the difference and discuss why Austria was an archduchy and not just a regular duchy.
等等，别这样。不如我们各退一步，改来聊聊为什么奥地利是大公国而不是普通公国。
Okay, look, here's the thing. I like pharmaceutical sales, it's going great.
听我说，事情是这样的。我喜欢做医药销售，干得也不错。
But I have an audition for a movie, and if I get it, it could screw everything up.
但我有一个电影的试镜。如果我得到那个角色，可能会失去现在的一切。
I know exactly what you should do. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you. Well, why?
我完全知道你该怎么做。很可惜，我不能告诉你。为什么？
I'm attempting to turn over a new leaf. Earlier today, it was pointed out to me that I tend to force my ideas on people.
我在尝试改过自新。今天早些时候，有人向我指出我常常将自己的想法强加于人。
You're really not gonna tell me?
你真的不打算告诉我吗？
No, that train has left the station. Now, we can play this one of two ways.
不，时机已过，火车已离站。现在我们有两种玩法。
You can say, "Trains, tell me more," or...you can just look at me like that and I'll start.
你可以说"火车，再说说"或...你也可以那样看着我，我就会开始说。
What's going on in here?
你在里面鼓捣啥呢？
I am making molecular cocktails. This sphere is actually a cosmopolitan.
我在做分子鸡尾酒。这个小球其实就是大都会鸡尾酒。
How do you drink it? Oh, just put it in your mouth and pop it like a zit.
那要怎么喝呢？直接放进嘴里，然后像挤青春痘那样挤爆它。
I think I'll have a beer. First take a picture with me. Why?
我还是喝啤酒吧。先跟我一起拍张照。为什么？
Well, Raj and I always talked about learning how to make cocktails like this together,
我和拉杰一直在说要一起学做这样的鸡尾酒。
so I taught myself and I'm putting this on Instagram so he can see it and feel like a turd. Say cheese.
现在我学会了，我要把照片放分享网站上，好让他看见，觉得自己很屎。笑一个。
Is this about the space probe he's working on without you? You betcha. The very one.
是因为航天探测器的项目他没让你参与吗？－那还用说，肯定是啊。
Howard, you're grown men. You guys don't have to do everything together.
霍华德，你是成年人了。你们几个用不着干什么事都在一起。
I know. That's why I'm spending tonight with you.
我知道，所以我今晚跟你待着啊。
Trying to hurt Raj's feelings. With my honeybunch. You're being childish.
你是想让拉杰难过。跟我的宝贝一起惩罚他。你真幼稚。
No. He is. So I have a dominant personality. We all know that.
不，他才是。没错，我是有支配性人格。我们大家都知道。
I'm sorry. What do we know?
抱歉，我们都知道什么？
In social groupings, I just naturally wind up in charge.
在社交团体中，话事权总是自然而然落在我手里。
Don't take this the wrong way, but how many of these little booze balls have you had?
你别误会，我不是要质疑你，但你是吃了多少颗这种小酒球啊？
You don't think I'm a leader? I was kidding. Of course you are. Right. I couldn't change if I wanted to.
你认为我不是领导吗？我开玩笑啦，你当然是啊。对啊，我想改也改不过来。
You better not change, because I love who you are. Now, will you need help cleaning all this up when you're done or can you do it all by yourself?
你最好不要改，因为我喜欢这样的你。你鼓捣完后，需要我帮忙清理吗？或是你一个人全包了？
All by myself. There's my big boss man.
我全包了。这才是我的大领导嘛。
So, often on the front of the locomotive is a large iron wedge for clearing objects off the tracks.
通常在火车头前面有一个大铁楔用来清理铁轨上的东西。通常俗称"排障器"（抓牛器）。
Now, while commonly known as a cowcatcher, I prefer the more accurate "Cow exploder."
而现实中往往是直接撞开，我喜欢更确切的叫法"爆牛器"
Okay. Sheldon, let me ask you a question.
好吧。谢尔顿，我问你个问题。
If I was at a train station and one train could take me to my current job and the other train could take me to an audition for a movie, which train should I get on?
如果我在火车站，有一辆火车可以载我去我现在的工作，另一辆可以载我去一部电影的试镜，那我应该上哪辆火车呢？
Are you using trains to trick me into giving you advice? No.
你是在利用火车来骗我给你建议吗？不是。
All right, then. You should take a third train where you audition for the movie but hold off on making a career decision until you have more information.
那就可以说。你应该上第三辆火车去参加电影试镜。但先别着急做职业上的抉择，等了解更多情况再说。
You're right. I'm worried about something that hasn't even happened yet. You are a wise man.
你说得有道理。我在担心一件根本还没发生的事。你真是位智者。
Well, Penny, who's smarter: the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
佩妮，谁更聪明：是智者还是向智者寻求建议的那个人？
Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
我猜你说得对。或许还真是懂得寻求建议的人。
No, it's the wise man. That's why he's called the wise man. You know how I know that? I'm the wise man.
错，是智者。不然他干嘛叫智者。你知道我怎么知道的吗？我就是智者。
I'm sorry. What was I thinking?
抱歉。我刚才在想什么啊？
Uh, just out of curiosity, why didn't you ask Leonard for advice about this?
出于好奇问一句。这件事你干嘛不问莱纳德意见呢？
'Cause I already know what he'll say. "Wah, wah, wah, you shouldn't do it."
因为我早就知道他会说什么。"这个那个，总之你不该去。"
It's just like he's here!
跟他本人在这似的！
Okay, so we know that previous attempts to send a message into space, like the Golden Record on Voyager, were heavily criticized.
人类之前已经尝试过将讯息投放到太空中，就像旅行者上的金唱片，骂声一片。
Well, aliens could only play the Golden Record if they figured out how to build a record player.
外星人只有做一台唱机出来才能播放金唱片。
Although, to be fair, I watched E.T. build a telephone out of a Speak & Spell and an umbrella. Dude was like a little brown MacGyver.
不过公平地说，我看着ET用一台学习玩具和一把伞做了一台电话机。那小家伙就像棕色皮肤的马盖先。
That would be more helpful if E.T. were real.
如果ET真实存在，会大有帮助。
Well, my feelings were real when he was about to die.
电影里它快死的时候，我真的是很难过。
My God, when he's on the table and they use the paddles on him.
天啊，还有它躺在台子上，他们电击它。
And he's all white. They zip him up in that bag.
它全身都变白了。他们把他放进袋子，拉上拉链。
And Gertie can't stop crying. The flower dies. Okay, let's talk about something else.
格蒂一直在哭。花都枯萎了。够了，我们换个话题吧。
All right. So it-it sounds like we need a way to communicate that's simple.
好的。听起来我们需要一种简单的沟通方式。
And doesn't require outside machinery to be built to access it.
而且不需要外部机器就可以直接读取。
It's also a problem because we don't even know if the aliens who find this can see.
这也是一个问题，因为我们根本不知道找到这个东西的外星人是否有视觉。
I mean, they might communicate in a totally different way than us.
他们可能会用和我们完全不同的方式进行交流。
Like when my dog is mad at me, she tells me by peeing in my slippers.
就像我的小狗生我气时，她的表达方式是尿我拖鞋上。
That's actually a valid example. Animals do deliver messages through scent.
这还真是一个很好的例子。动物就会用气味来传达信息。
Bees talk to each other by dancing. Whales have their songs.
蜜蜂通过舞蹈来互相交流。鲸鱼有自己的鲸鱼歌。
Penny has about 20 different ways of rolling her eyes that each mean something different.
佩妮有20种翻白眼的方式，每种白眼都代表不同的意思。。
Okay, so, what it sounds like is, what we want is a device that can deliver a message through not only sight, but other senses, as well.
好了，总结起来就是：我们需要的是一种不光是用视觉，还能透过其他感知方式传递讯息的装置。
The most basic sense that any space-faring civilization would have to possess is touch.
任何宇宙文明都应该具备的最基本的感知就是触觉了。
We could make a video-playing device that simultaneously translates the information into a tactile medium.
我们应该设计一个可以播放视频，同时能把讯息转化到可触摸媒介上的装置。
All we have to do is rig up a 3D communication system!
我们只需要装配一台三维交流系统装置就行了！
We-we can totally do that! I know!
我们完全可以办到！我知道！
This is great! Yeah, you know what else it is? What? Exactly what Sheldon and Howard said.
实在太棒了！是啊，还有件事你知道吗？什么？这跟谢尔顿和霍华德之前说的完全一样。
Well, thank you for peeing in my slippers.
多谢你在我拖鞋里撒的这泡尿。
