—Is that the Manager?
—Speaking. Can I be of any assistance?
—Could you speed up your switchboard a bit, please? I booked a call to Brussels a good twenty minutes ago and I haven't had a reply yet.
—Well, perhaps they are rather busy at this time of the day. After all, we are an hour ahead of Belgium.
—I know that, but I could have dialed myself direct in no time at all.
—We do like to route the calls through the operator and then there can be no misunderstanding about the charges, I'm sure you understand.
—No, I suppose it would be difficult to check the cost of directly-dialed calls, but nevertheless I do have to put through an important call to Brussels.
—I'll get on to them myself and see what the delay is, then call you back as soon as I know anything.
—And what seems to be the trouble, sir?
—They don't want to let me into the nightclub.
—Well, I'm afraid there is an entrance charge, sir.
—But damn it all—I am a resident. It's ridiculous.
—I'm very sorry, sir, but you see it is something of a special evening. Our guest star this evening is Sammy Davis Junior and I'm afraid that the tickets do cost 250 marks each. I could see if there are any left if you would like one. We generally try to keep a few back for the residents.
—Good Lord. That's nearly thirty-five pounds. No, on second thoughts, I don't think I'll bother. Could you have them send up a bottle of scotch to my room. I'll entertain myself instead.
—Very good, sir. That is room 634, isn't it?
—Good evening, sir. I'm the Assistant Manager.
—How nice!
—Yes, I'm afraid we've had a complaint about the noise from your neighbor across the corridor. He's trying to get some sleep as he has an early start tomorrow. I'm sure you understand.
—Oh, I see.
—Do you think it might be possible to ask your friends to be a little quieter? We do like to give our guests a chance of getting a good night's sleep. It is well after eleven.
—Oh, I'm so sorry. I do apologize. I suppose we were talking rather loudly. It's just that we've signed a very important contract. We were having a bit of celebration.
—I'm pleased to hear it. Shall I ask Room Service to bring you some coffee?
—No, that won't be necessary. We were just about to pack up anyway.
—Thank you, sir, and good night to you.
—Could I see the Manager, please? I have a complaint.
—Can I help you, madam?
—Yes. Did you have this room checked before we moved in? There's not a scrap of lavatory paper and the toilet doesn't flush properly, the water doesn't run away in the shower and I would like an extra pillow. What have you to say to that?
—I'm extremely sorry to hear that. I'll attend to it right away. The housekeeper usually checks every room before new guests move in. We have been extremely busy with a large conference.
—That's no way to run a hotel. One doesn't expect this sort of thing in a well-run hotel.
—No, madam. I do apologize. It's most unusual. We do try to check the rooms as thoroughly as possible. Just the one pillow, was it? Is there anything else?
—Well, your thermostatically-controlled air-conditioning doesn't seem to be working too well. It's as hot as hell up there.
—I'll just adjust the regulator for you and I think you'll find it a little cooler in a short time. I'll also send someone along right away to look at the toilet and shower.
Salesman: Good evening, all you holiday dreamers. It's holiday planning time again and we're here with suggestions as usual. We know what you want ... something more interesting, something less expensive. So ... what about America? New York from 199 pounds. Or Canada? Or Hawaii? Ah ... Hawaii. And from only 372 pounds. Or the beautiful Bahamas? From just 400 pounds. Nearer home we suggest Wales or Scotland. And if you would like an easy package holiday, you could visit Minorca from 103 pounds, Ceylon from 343 pounds, Mombasa from 311 and sunny Florida from 243 pounds. Is time a problem? Is money a problem? Just send for our brochure and both problems will disappear.

Peggy: Bob, can we really afford a holiday? We're paying for this house and the furniture is on HP and ...
Bob: Now listen, Peggy. You work hard and I work hard. We're not talking about whether we can have a holiday. We're talking about where and when.
Peggy: Shall we go to Sweden?
Bob: Sweden's colder than Sheffield. I'd rather not go to Sweden.
Peggy: What about Florida? Florida's warmer than Sheffield.
Bob: Yes, but it's a long way. How long does it take to get from here to Florida?
Peggy: All right. Let's go to Hawaii.
Bob: You must be joking. How much would it cost for the two of us?
Peggy: But the brochure says the problem of money will disappear. Bob, where do you really want to go?
Bob: I'm thinking of Wales or Scotland. Do you know why?
Peggy: Yes. 'They're right on our doorstep and so close to home.'
Jill: Now, let me see. Blue Skies Travel Agency. Ah, yes, it's a London number. 01 748 9932. I think I'll ring now.
(sound of dialing and ringing)
Voice: Hello.
Jill: Uh ... good morning. Is that 748 9932?
Voice: No, it isn't. It's 738 9932.
Jill: Sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number.
(sound of dialing and ringing tone)
Telephonist: Blue Skies Travel Agency. Can I help you?
Jill: Could you give me some information about holidays in North America?
Telephonist: Just one moment. I'll put you through to our North American department.
Miss Jones: North American department. Miss Jones speaking. Can I help you?
Jill: Yes, please. I'm planning my holiday and I'd like some information about holidays in New York.
Miss Jones: Certainly. What would you like to know?
Jill: First, how much is the cheapest return flight to New York? And what will the weather be like?
Miss Jones: I see. When do you want to go?
Jill: In May ... and I'd like to know about the inclusive holidays and good hotels and ...
Miss Jones: (interrupts) Certainly. Just give me your name and address. I'll send you all the information you want.
Jill: My name is Jill Adams. Miss J. Adams. And my address is ...
Traveller: Hello. I'd like some information about your trips to Kathmandu.
Travel Agent: Yes, of course. What can I tell you?
Traveller: Well, how, how do we travel?
Travel Agent: It's a specially adapted bus with room for sleeping and ...
Traveller: And, and, er, how many people in a group?
Travel Agent: Well, the bus sleeps ten. Usually there are eight travellers and two drivers, a guide to look after you.
Traveller: So, so we sleep, um, normally, in, in the bus?
Travel Agent: Yes, and it's fully equipped for cooking and it's got a shower system that we put up every evening, weather permitting.
Traveller: Er, um ... We leave from, from London?
Travel Agent: Yes, and return to London.
Traveller: Is there anything special we'd have to bring?
Travel Agent: Oh, we give everyone a list of suitable clothes, etc. to bring. Of course, space is limited.
Traveller: Oh, oh yes, I understand that. Now, how, how long in advance would I have to book?
Travel Agent: Well, it depends. Usually six or eight months. It's amazing the number of people who are interested.
Traveller: Well, I'm interested in the ten-week trip next spring.
Travel Agent: Um, that one leaves on the fourth of April.
Traveller: Yeah. That's right, yeah. It'll be for two people.
Travel Agent: That'd be fine. Could you come in and we can go over all the details.
Traveller: Yes, I think that'd be best, um, but can you give me some idea of how much that'll cost.
Travel Agent: Spring for ten weeks ... Um, we haven't got the exact figures at the moment, but, er, something like, er, 1,100 pounds per person.
Traveller: OK. Um, I'll come and see you one day next week.
Travel Agent: Yes. Thanks for ringing.
Traveller: Thank you. Bye.
Travel Agent: Bye bye.