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What the Americans Don' t Talk About !
One of the recurring questions that my students in China often ask is:"What are the things they shouldn't talk about with Americans?"Taboo1) topics tend to make people feel uneasy.Every culture has these off－limits subjects.In ours,the following immediately come to mind:
1.Age Yes,age is a very sensitive subject t o many Americans,especially to women over age 30.In this youth obsessed2) culture,the thought of growing older is a painful one and most of us,if possible,would like to have nothing to do with it.Unfortunately aging is one of the inevitabilities of life and it happens to the best of us.As a result,many Americans work hard to maintain a youthful appearance or at least give the illusion of youth.So the last thing they want is for some one to rub their faces in harsh reality and ask the unthinkable,"How old are you exactly？"
This question may result in replies like:"How old do you think I am?""30ish,30something.I'm in my thirties.Let' s just leave it at that."“I can' t remember.""Oh.don't ask me that.""I stopped keeping track after I turned 30.""A lot older than what I would like to be."
Anyhow,if you are dying to know someone's age,this is how you could go about finding out.First you estimate their age by their appearance and mannerism.Then you subtract ten years from that estimation.I guarantee you will get a big smile from that person who will also blush and say,"Wow.You are my best friend.I'm 38already.Can you believe it?"You,of course,reply,"No.I really can' t.You' re kidding.You don' t look a day over28.This is amazing."Now that' s one surefire way to boost someone' s ego.
2.Weight This is one of the touchiest3) subjects．In America，it is okay，even desirable，to be thin but it is a sin and a huge embarrassment to be overweight．In fact，the thinner you are，the prettier you are considered．Flip through any American fashion magazines，you'll notice that most models are nothing more than skin and bones．A woman who sports this emaciated4)，skeletal physique is called a waif，which is a thin person who appears fragile and needy．Believe it not，the waif look was the hottest look of the １９９０' s．Of course，there are obvious health related advantages to having a slender figure but please don't over diet for the sake of vanity．You could potentially become a victim to horrible eating disorders like anorexia5) and bulimia6)．
Americans are very weight－conscious and rarely disclose how much they weigh．．．even if they are thin and in great shape．Therefore，you best not to ask．But if you absolutely have to comment on this subject，it' s always safer to say，“Oh，you look like you have lost weight ”than“ Oh，you look like you put on a few pounds．”However，if you would like to be honest but not hurtful，I recommend you choose your words carefully，perhaps by saying：“Hey，you look great．Very healthy looking．”And always remember，it' s not fat．It' s muscular．
3.Income You should never ever ask how much someone' s salary is．There's no way around this one．However，it' s perfectly appropriate to ask about their job title and what they do for a living．This information should give you some idea how much they make a year．
4.Matters of the Heart This is a tricky one．Sometimes you'll run into people who can't wait to pour their hearts out to you．Then there are those who make sure their personal business stays behind closed doors．The general rule is to not get too personal，too fast．You don't want others to think that you're prying into their lives．Therefore，try not to ask too many questions about someone' s love life，marriage and family until you have a friendship with this person．Even then，you better wait for your friend to come to you with the matters of their heart．
5.Is It Real？ Many Americans are proponents of the all－natural look．Stick with what Mother Nature gave you and do the best you can with it．But how man y truly abide by this principle？With plastic surgery and products like colored contact lens，hair coloring，acrylic7) nails，etc，the answer would be：not many．I suppose some of us either like to experiment with our looks or are simply unhappy with what we're born with．
As artificial as the results of these physical alterations may be，they are done to imitate nature．At the end of the day，people want others to believe they' re simply born beautiful．So don' t ruin it for them by asking，“Hey，I love your eye color．Is it real？”
What makes certain topics taboo？These topics may lead to disclosure of information that people don't want others to know about．In other words，sometimes it' s not so much that you asked the wrong question，but that you touched a sore spot．Regardless，it' s difficult to always avoid conversation landmines8) so be sensible，watch your step and try not to open a can of worms．
