So I go over there and this guy says
于是我去找到那个人
I said yeah, I want to be a comedian
我跟他说 我想当一名喜剧演员
I said, I've been trying to do it for about a year
我说我尝试一年了
He said, a year, you're supposed to be if you join the union in three months
他说 一年 入协会三个月就行了
I could find you right now, you could be a violation
我可以马上破格加你
I said, well, how much does it take to join
我问 加入要多少钱
He said, $300 I said, I don't have $300 and then
他说 300美元 我说 我没有那么多钱 然后
he said those magic words, how much you got
他说了那些骗子常说的话 那你有多少
You know, I knew I was making a mistake you know you just wanted to believe
我当时就知道 这很有可能是骗局 我只是想给自己一些憧憬
I just knew I was making a mistake, I just wanted to believe
我知道自己错了 但还是希望这是真的
So I gave him all the money that I have
于是我把所有的钱都给了他
I said, I have $75.
我说 我有75美元
He said, oh, give me that.
他说 好 给我吧
Then he gives me his business card, there writes back on the business card, union man
然后他就给我名片 背面写有协会成员
He says, you show this card to any club
他说 你可以把它出示给任何俱乐部
I felt like cocoa and fame, remember that movie
我感觉就像名扬四海中的科科 记得那部电影吗
So I got this card that says union man
我拿着这张写有协会成员的卡片
and I go back to the nightclub and I handed it to the guy
回到夜总会 给那里的人看
and the guy breaks out laughing and he says we don't hire comedians, get lost
夜总会的人忍不住大笑出来 他说 我们不招喜剧演员 走开
Okay, now I'm stupid and broke
这时 我不仅显得愚蠢 而且身无分文
I used to drive to New York every single night
我曾每晚都开车去纽约
to try and get out the improv in New York City
尝试在纽约市找到即兴演出机会
At the time, that was the only place that featured unknown comedians
当时 纽约是唯一让不知名的喜剧演员演出的地方
That drive to New York every night or everyday after class rather
每天下课 我都会驱车去纽约
and I sleep in the alley a couple blocks from the improv
我睡在离即兴演出地点一两个街区远的小巷子里
It was the only dead end alley around
这是附近唯一的死胡同
So it was pretty quiet until midnight
一直都很安静 直到午夜
when the prostitutes who bring their customers there
妓女们带着她们的客人回来
and I'm sleeping, I'm like 50 feet away, I'm going
我就睡在五十英尺外的地方 我心想
really is this show business?
这就是脱口秀表演业吗
This is what a college degree gets me?
这就是大学文凭给我的吗
but my saving grace was Emerson College because no matter how awful gives were
不过爱默生学院挽救了我 无论我的境况有多糟