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IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE GREG
如果你不相信格雷格
100% of men polled said they have never vomited in the bed of a woman they were really into. (Apparently these guys don't know how to have a good time. )
百分之百的男士在调查中称他们从未在与心爱之人同床共枕之时呕吐过。（很显然这些人不知道如何享乐。）
What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter
在本章中你应该学到的
It doesn't count unless he says it when he's sober. An "I Love You" (or any semblance thereof) while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won't hold up in court or in life.
除非是他在清醒状态下说的话，否则不算数。一句在比葡萄汁更烈的东西的影响下说出的“我爱你”（或者其它类似的表达）都无法在法庭上或者生活里维持下去。
Drinking and drug use are not a path to one's innermost feelings.
喝酒和吸毒并不是阐述内心情感的途径。
Otherwise people wouldn't smash empty beer cans against their skulls or stick their fingers in fire to see if they can feel anything.
否则人们不会用空啤酒瓶砸脑袋、把手伸进火里来看是否他们能还有感觉。
If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc. , when he's inebriated, it ain't love—it's sport.
如果他在酩酊大醉的时候想见你，想跟你聊天，想跟你做爱等等，那不是爱——是肢体运动。
Bad boys are actually bad.
坏男孩儿的确很坏。
You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.
你值得一个不需要喝醉了才呆在你身边的人。
Our Super-Good Really Helpful Exercise
我们超级有用的练习
There's often a lot of drinking during the early stages of a relationship.
恋爱初期往往会涉及到很多喝酒的时候。
It may be hard to first even notice that you actually haven't ever seen your dude sober. Or, then figure out if it's a problem (for you) .
也许开始你很难发现自己的另一半从未清醒过。或者弄清楚这对你来说是不是一个问题。
So here is what we suggest. Go get yourself a calendar, draw a crown face in every day of the week.
这就是我们的建议。给自己拿本日历，在每天画一个小丑的脸。
Shade the clown nose for every day you see him intoxicated. (That includes pot, muscle relaxers, whippets, Oxycontin, Xanax, and too much Red Bull. )
每次看见他不清醒的时候就给小丑的鼻子上色。（包括吸大麻，肌肉松弛剂，惠比特，奥施康定，阿普唑仑，和太多的红牛。）
Only you can decide what's too much or too little for you.
只有你自己能决定是太多还是太少。
But at least you'll have the clown's habits in front of you in black and white.
但是至少你会有面前白纸黑字画小丑的习惯。
