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On the other hand, when you brand yourself as someone who refrains from speaking disapprovingly of others, not only will people’s respect for you grow, but you will also be happier. When you hold back saying something negative about someone else—especially when given the opportunity—you exemplify self-control and concern for others.
另一方面,当你铭记某人拒绝说其他人的坏话,不仅人们的尊重有利于你成长,但你也会更快乐。当你对其他人说一些负面，特别是当给机会的时候，例证你的自控和关心他人。
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie
任何傻瓜都能批评、谴责和抱怨,但是更需要去理解和宽容。“戴尔·卡耐基说。
Do not, however, confuse speaking of someone in a derogatory way with participating in a formal critique, such as job performance reviews or when you are asked to point out deficiencies for the purpose of helping someone improve in certain areas. In these instances, use tact and diplomacy to focus on performance issues and always avoid personal attacks.
然而,参与正式的批判的时候，不要混淆贬损的方式说话的人,如工作表现评审或当你被要求指出缺陷为目的的帮助别人在某些领域改善。在这些情况下,使用机智和外交关注的性能问题,总是避免人身攻击。
Tips for Avoiding Negative Conversations
避免消极谈话的技巧
Refuse to engage in negative conversations about others.
拒绝参与对别人消极的对话。
Refuse to be part of groups who speak poorly of others. Remember that if you are surrounded by people who thrive on cutting others down, it may be time for you to reconsider with whom you spend your time.
拒绝成为说别人的不好组织的一部分,。记住,如果你被人贬低别人,也许是时候重新考虑与你花你的时间。
Avoid making negative or unflattering comments about other people by remembering that your comments influence people’s views of you.
避免消极的或不讨人喜欢的评论别人记住你的评论影响他人对你的看法。
Sometimes figuratively (and sometimes literally) I bite my tongue when I am on the verge of saying something negative. I do so knowing that quelling the urge to speak my mind on impulse helps me show consideration for others, uphold my values, and maintain my reputation.
有时候打个比方(有时字面上)当我想要说一些消极的时候，我咬我的舌头不说话。我知道平息冲动说出我的想法的欲望帮我显示为他人着想,坚持自己的价值观,保持我的声誉。
You can build a reputation that commands respect by refusing to speak negatively of others in all circumstances—regardless of who is or isn’t present.
你可以通过拒绝在任何时候说其他人坏话建立声誉，不管他是不是在场。
