Time stood still for a long while,
好长一会儿,时间彷佛静止了,
and all I could think and repeat in the chaos of my brain was:
而在混乱中,我脑中想的与重复的是:
"You can forget about that partnership, Leila.
你可以忘记那个伙伴关系,蕾拉。
It's just never going to happen."
这样下去不会有什么结果的。
It took me a couple of days to fully absorb this incident and its implications,
这让我花了几天去完全消化这件事与它的含义,
but once I did, I reached three conclusions.
但最后,我得到三个结论。
One, that these were his issues, his complexes.
第一,那是他的问题,他的病态心理。
There may be many like him in our society, but I would never let their issues become mine.
在我们的社会中存在着很多像他一样的人,他们的观点我绝不会苟同。
Two, that I needed another sponsor, and fast.
第二,我需要其他的支持者,而且要快。
I got one, by the way, and boy, was he great.
顺带一提,我找到了另一半,他真的很棒。
And three, that I would get to show John what women with children can do.
而第三,我要展示给约翰,有小孩的女人可以做什么。
I apply this lesson equally well to my personal life.
这个经验在我的个人生活中也是一样好用。
As I have progressed in my career, I have received many words of encouragement,
当我在职业上有进展时,我得到很多言语的鼓励,
but I have also often been met by women, men and couples
但我也常遇到一些女人、男人与夫妻,
who have clearly had an issue with my husband and I having chosen the path of a dual-career couple.
他们很明确地对我们夫妇选择双薪家庭的道路存有质疑。
So you get this well-meaning couple
所以你知道这些出于好心的夫妇
who tells you straight out at a family gathering or at a friends gathering,
在家庭聚会或是在朋友聚会直接了当地告诉你,
that, come on, you must know you're not a great mom, given how much you're investing in your career, right?
哎呀,你必须知道你不是个好妈妈,投资了多少在你的职业生涯,对吧?
I would lie if I said these words didn't hurt.
如果我说这些言语不伤人,那我绝对在说谎。
My children are the most precious thing to me,
我的孩子是我最珍视的事情,
and the thought that I could be failing them in any way is intolerable.
而要我辜负他们的想法无论如何都是无法忍受的。
But just like I did with John, I quickly reminded myself that these were their issues, their complexes.
但就像我对约翰所做的,我很快地提醒我自己这些都是他们的问题,他们的自卑心态。
So instead of replying, I gave back one of my largest smiles as I saw, in flashing light, the following sign in my mind's eye.
所以我不回答他们,只是回敬一个我最大的微笑,当时我看到,在闪烁的光芒下,在我脑海中的迹象。
Be happy, it drives people crazy.
要幸福快乐,让人们嫉妒疯狂吧。