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You're finally meeting his family of eight over a home-cooked meal big enough for 30...when you need to bake a keister casserole.
你终于在一顿足以喂饱三十个人的家常大餐上见到他一家八口...这时你却必须去烧一锅屁屁炖菜。
Hi, uh, where is the restroom?
嗨，呃，洗手间在哪呢？
Uh, it's right behind you.
呃，就在你后面。
Right behind me? Oh, that is convenient!
就在我后面？噢，还真方便!
Now, what do you do?
现在，你要怎么做？
He's really hot. Most of the time I get real big trolls. I need you. Help me out!
他真的很性感。我之前大部分都是遇到大丑男。我需要你。帮我个忙!
Oh my gosh. What did I do? What did I eat? Oh, no!!
我的老天。我做了什么？我吃了什么？喔，不!
After you answer Mother Nature's booty call, you fill the air with synthetic citrus,
在你回应大自然之母对屁股的召唤后，你在空气中喷满人工合成的柑橘味，
hoping the scent of last night's burrito won't follow you back to the table.
盼望昨晚墨西哥卷饼的气味不会跟着你回到餐桌。
That was a bad choice. They're gonna know my secrets.
那是个糟透的选择。他们会知道我的秘密。
And they're gonna hate me, and I'm never gonna find love. Maybe more, maybe more, oh, maybe more.
而且他们会讨厌我，然后我就再也找不到爱了。也许再多点，也许再多点，噢，也许再多点。
Oh, come on. Come on. And everyone's gonna be married with kids, and I'm gonna be a lone lady with cats!
噢，来吧。来吧。所有人都会结婚生小孩，但我会变成一个只有猫咪作伴的孤单老女人!
Smells like...diaper gravy! Smells like, uh... It's got some fruit notes. Is...is it shitrus?!
闻起来像...尿布卤汁!闻起来像，呃...有点水果味。这...这是屎味柑橘吗？!
I can taste it! It's atomic!
我可以尝得到!这臭味有原子弹的威力!
It's...it's stinging! It's stinging! It's...burning! My eyes... It's in my eyes. She ruined my dinner!
好...刺!好刺!它在...燃烧!我的眼睛... 在我的眼睛里。她毁了我的晚餐!
Oh, this is really important. I better take this. Excuse me.
噢，这真的很重要。我最好接一下这通电话。容我离开一下。
You tuck that turtlehead back in its shell and toot, scoot, and boogie to the backyard.
你缩回便意，然后一边发出噗噗噗的声响，快步疾走到后院。
You pop a squat and push it. P-p-push it real good. And just when you think you've gotten away with your rectal ruse...
你蹲下解放并使力推挤。推、推、推得极为卖力。而正当你以为没人发现你直肠耍的小花招时...
Please! Please...I-I won't tell if you don't tell. No deal!
拜托!求你了...我－－如果你不说出去我就不会说。门儿都没有!
Why? Why can't you be a nice grandma that bakes pies and knits sweaters?
为什么？为什么你不能是一个烤派和织毛衣的好奶奶？
Please excuse me.
请容我离开一下。
Before you pass the chocolate delights, you spritz the bowl with Poo-Pourri.
在你端出巧克力美食前，你把Poo-Pourri喷在马桶里。
Nice. Whew! That was a good one, but it smells good, too. You did so good.
赞。唷呼!那个不错喔，而且闻起来也很不错。你做得真好。
I just pooped, and it smells fabulous. Yeah! Bring it down, bring it down...downtown I did, right?! Yeah! Yeah!
我刚拉屎，它超好闻。耶!就是这样、就是这样...我做到了，对吧？!耶!耶!
All they'll be able to smell is an appetizing blend of natural essential oils.
他们能闻到的只有刺激食欲的天然精油混合香味。
Oh, that's heavenly. I don't remember putting a lemon meringue pie in the oven.
噢，那真是太美好了。我不记得有在烤箱里放柠檬蛋白派啊。
Whatever that smell is, I wanna eat it right now with my mouth.
不管那是什么味道，我想要现在就吃掉它，此时此刻，用我的嘴。
It smells like sunshine! And Froot Loops! Very nice blend.
闻起来像阳光!还有彩色麦片圈圈!非常棒的交融。
Marry this one, man. I mean, she poops pies. Am I right? Just like me! Just like you!
娶这女人回家吧，兄弟。我的意思是，她便出派耶。我说对了吗？就像我!就像你!
Winner, winner, burrito dinner.
赢家、赢家，厕所的赢家。
Control the "shituation" with Poo-Pourri-the Before-You-Go Toilet Spray that creates a film on the water's surface that actually traps odor before it begins.
用Poo-Pourri掌控“屎况”--它是会在水面上制造一层薄膜的“事前”厕所喷雾，那层薄膜在气味开始发散前就能确实抑制臭气。
If your poo stinks, click here to get your Poo-Pourri today at poopourri.com.
如果你的便便散发恶臭，今天就点击这里前往poopourri.com取得你的Poo-Pourri。
Poo-Pourri. When the glasses clink, don't ruin the party with a stink.
Poo-Pourri。当大家举杯欢庆时，别让臭臭坏了派对兴致。
