When I was six years old, my first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. And she said, "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? If you hear your name called, go and pick up your gift and sit down." What a wonderful idea, right? What could go wrong?
当我6岁的时候，我一年级的老师有一个很棒的主意。他想让我们在接受礼物的同时还能学习如何表扬他人。然后她说，“让我们在这里互相表扬吧。如果你听到有谁表扬你，去拿一份礼物然后回座位。”多棒的主意，对么？能出什么差错呢？
Well, there were 40 of us to start with, and then there were 20 people left, and 10 people left, and five left ... and three left. And I was one of them. And the compliments stopped. Well, at that moment, I was crying. But I don't know who felt worse that day. Was it me or the teacher? She must have realized that she turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds. And without the humor. So that was one version of me, and I would die to avoid being in that situation again—to get rejected in public again.
开始时，我们一共有40个孩子，然后剩下20个人，然后10个人，5个人…最后剩下了3个人。而我是其中一个。再也没有表扬了。就在那时，我开始哭。但我不知道当天谁的感觉更糟，是我还是我的老师呢？她一定意识到自己把一个团队建设活动变成了对3个6岁孩子进行批斗的尴尬时刻。而且这种尴尬一点都不好笑。所以那是一个版本的我，我死也不要再经历这种事情——在众目睽睽下被拒绝。
Then, fast-forward another 14 years, I was 30. And I felt I was stuck; I was stagnant. Why is that? I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world—make a difference—another was afraid of rejection. And every time, that six-year-old won. And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. I have to put him back in his place.
然后，再快进14年，我三十岁了。我感觉我卡住了，停滞不前。为什么呢？我感觉6对的我和14岁的我之间一直在斗争。一个想征服世界，改变现状，另一个害怕被拒绝。然而每次那个6岁的我都赢了。这个惧怕甚至持续到我开了自己的公司。我不能让那个6岁的我继续支配我的生活。我要战胜他。

So this is where I went online and looked for help. Google was my friend. Then I found this website by luck. It's called rejectiontherapy.com. "Rejection Therapy" was this game, and basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I loved that idea. And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." And I came up with my own rejection ideas, and I made a video blog out of it.
所以我上网寻求帮助。谷歌是我的朋友。然后我意外找到了这个网站，叫做“被拒治疗法”。“被拒治疗法”是加拿大一个游戏，游戏很简单，你出门找拒绝，持续30天。每天都主动找人因某些事拒绝你，最后你对拒绝就会感到麻木了。我太爱这个主意了。我要让自己被拒绝100天，而且把情景录下来。我要自己想象出被拒绝的主意，还为此创建了视频博客。
And so here's what I did. Day One: borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. He looked like a security guard. So I just approached him. And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life—hair on the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And I got there and said, "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?" And he looked up, he's like, "No." "Why?" And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." Then I turned around, and I just ran.
这就是我做的。第一天：想一个陌生人借100美金。我走下楼，看到桌子后面坐了一个壮汉。可能是保安吧。所以，我接近他。我走向他，简直是我人生中最漫长一段路，我觉得脖子后面的汗毛都竖起来了，手心都是汗，心砰砰直跳。我走到他面前，说：“先生你好，我能向你借100美金么？”他抬起头，说：“不行。为什么？”我说：“不行吗？真不好意思”然后我转身就跑。
But then I saw this guy. You know, he wasn't that menacing. He was a chubby, loveable guy, and he even asked me, "Why?" In fact, he invited me to explain myself. And I could've said many things. I could've explained, I could've negotiated. I didn't do any of that. All I did was run. I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. Every time I felt the slightest rejection, I would just run as fast as I could. And you know what? The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not gonna run. I'll stay engaged.
但我又看了看那个人。他并没有那么可怕，看起来胖乎乎的，很可爱，他甚至还问我，“为什么”。事实上，他给了我解释的机会，我本来可以说很多。我可以解释，可以交涉。我只是逃走了，我觉得，哇，这简直就是我人生的缩影。每次我遇到一点小小的拒绝，我就撒腿就跑。于是我决定了，第二天，不管发生了什么，我都不会逃跑。我会继续交涉。
And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. This is where my life was turned upside down. The doughnut maker took me so seriously. So she put out paper, started jotting down the colors and the rings, and is like, "How can I make this?" And then 15 minutes later, she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. I just couldn't believe it. And that video got over five million views on YouTube. The world couldn't believe that either.
第三天，索要奥林匹克甜甜圈。我的人生从此开始被颠覆。那个做甜甜圈的特别重视我的要求。他居然拿出一张纸，记下颜色和排列，思考该怎么制作。15分钟之后，她拿着一盒奥运五环甜甜圈出来了。我感动极了，简直难以置信。这个视频在Youtube上获得了超过5百万的浏览量。看起来世界也无法相信。
So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground—into this research project. And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why." I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. And again, and again, I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People were more likely to say yes to me. And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.
所以我把“被拒100天”剩下的经历变成个人游乐场，变成了研究项目。我学到了很多事情，我发现了很多秘密。比如，我发现只要我在遭到拒绝之后，不逃之夭夭，我可以把不行变成行，秘诀就是问对方为什么。我又学到一招，我可以通过表述一些确定的事情，增加我的提议被接受的可能性。就这样一次又一次，我体会到，如果在我提出自己的要求之前，我能说出对方心里的疑问，我能赢得他们的信任。他们也更有可能答应我的要求。然后我明白了，要想实现人生的理想，只要开口。
And in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing it. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.
以我为例，拒绝曾是我的诅咒，曾是我的梦魔。它困扰了我一生，因为我曾经不敢面对它。然后我开始拥抱它。把它转变为我人生中最大的礼物。当你在人生中遭遇拒绝，当你面对下一个障碍或下一次失败，想想以下这个可能：不要逃跑。如果你拥抱它们，它们也可能成为你的礼物。