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原味人文风情：
Five Stages of Watching a Disney Remake
看迪斯尼改编电影会经历的五个阶段
Stage One: Why Remake This?
第一阶段：为什么要改编？
Why remake this?
为什么要改编这部电影啊？
No! Don't you dare! No! Disney is off limits. We are going to watch this and enjoy this thoroughly. Shut up!
不!妳敢!不准!不准批评迪斯尼。我们要完全沉浸在这部电影中。惦惦!
What's up with your voice?
你的声音怎么了？
I have a cold.
我感冒。
Stage Two: Nostalgia
第二阶段：怀旧情怀
Finally! My favorite childhood movie in a brand new live-action version. What could possibly go wrong? Disney can do no wrong.
终于!我小时候最喜欢的电影拍成全新真人版了。能出什么错？迪斯尼不会错的。
What's so great about Disney anyway?
迪斯尼到底有什么好的啊？
I refuse to take part in your toxic narrative.
我不要和妳一起毒舌。
I did like Shrek.
我倒是真的喜欢《史瑞克》。
That's not Dis...
那不是迪...
Stage Three: Bargaining
第三阶段：自我协商
Oh! They removed that one scene. Okay! That...that's fine. Huh! They added new songs. That's...good, I guess. Oh. Uh, that dress is sort of...underwhelming. I'm... No! I'm having fun! This is fun! Isn't this fun?
喔!他们去掉那一幕了。好吧!没...没关系。哼!加了新歌进去。那样...还不错吧，我想。喔。呃，那件洋装有点...让人倒弹。我... 不!我很享受!这很有趣!这很有趣，对吧？
I like it a lot, actually!
老实说，我很喜欢耶!
Fun.
有趣。
Stage Four: Depression
第四阶段：失魂落魄
It wasn't...bad. The CGI was nice. And it's basically the same story, but it wasn't really good either. I feel so empty.
电影...不差。计算机特效很不赖。基本上就是一模一样的故事，不过其实也不是真的很好看。我觉得好空虚。
Hurts, doesn't it?
心痛痛的，是吧？
Stage Five: Why Remake This?
第五阶段：为什么要改编？
Why remake this?!
为什么要改编？!
Let it out.
发泄出来吧。
Why the already good ones? Why not remake a Disney movie that deserves a better point of view, or repairing mistakes? Like, the Hunchback of Notre Dame without the gargoyles, Aristocats minus the racism...the Black Cauldron.
为什么改编已经很棒的那些电影？为什么不改编一部应该有更好的观点的迪斯尼电影，或弥补一些错误？象是，《钟楼怪人》但不要有怪兽石雕、《猫儿历险记》删掉种族歧视的部份...《黑神锅传奇》。
Oh, they are remaking that. Google it.
噢，他们在改编那部啦。自己去 google 一下。
Oh! Oh. How many old Disney cartoons are they planning to remake exactly? It's all of them, isn't it?
噢!喔。他们到底计划要改编多少部以前的迪斯尼卡通啊？全部都要，对不对？
Yeah.
没错。
