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It's September 8th, this is our very, very first show, and you are my very first audience.
今天是9月8号，这是我们的首秀，你们是我的第一批观众
I have a gift for you, it's a welcome mat for your guests. It's a welcome mat, thank you.
我给你准备了个礼物，是一个放在门口的擦鞋垫。是个擦鞋垫啊，谢谢你啦
You have made it on a talk show, and you have your own mug. Yeah, I think anybody can get those made.
你上了一个脱口秀，你还有了自己的杯子。是啊，我觉得谁都能做到的
Now, let's see, we're gonna put this in the oven.
接下来，我们要把这个放进烤箱里
I would like to say right now, for the first time, I am announcing I am getting married.
现在，我第一次正式宣布，我要结婚了
I was up all night long because my sister was giving birth in my tub.
我一晚上都没睡着，因为我姐姐在我的浴盆里生孩子
I'm sorry, I can't hear, my sister's giving birth in my head.
不好意思，我听不见，因为我姐姐在我脑子里生孩子
Don't think that this isn't gonna happen. This is fulfilling some weird fantasy for me, I hope it does.
没想到会这样吧，这实现了我一些奇怪的幻想，如你所愿
Up in the air. Being on the Ellen Show is one of the best- Monotone like that.
抬上去，“上艾伦秀是最好的...”声音单调点
Being on the Ellen Show is one of the best experiences you can have. Now, laugh in a monotone way.
“上艾伦秀是最好的人生体验之一” 现在，用单调的声音笑
What's up, Sydney? Ellen, Ellen.
你好吗，悉尼？艾伦！艾伦！
You have to be nervous. You have to be scared, I mean, right? Aah! My God!
你一定很紧张，你一定很害怕，对吧？啊！天啊！
Wait, am I seeing wheat grass there? Wait, am I seeing wheat grass in here? Put it in your mouth and chew on it.
等下，那是小麦草吗？等下，那是小麦草吗？把它塞在嘴里嚼两下
I'm gonna bump you.
我要撞死你
