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You're having a perfectly good morning,
你正感觉早晨相当美好，
and then you walk into the kitchen and see it: the dreaded Post-It note.
接着就在厨房里看到了它：可怕的便利贴。
It's stuck above the dishes you were totally going to do
它贴在你要洗的碗碟上，
or the trash you're definitely planning to take out.
或者你计划扔掉的垃圾上。
It has a smiley face, but the real message is clear.
它画着一张笑脸，但真正的信息却很清楚。
That thing you didn't think was a problem? Yeah, apparently it's a problem.
你觉得这不是个问题？是的，它显然是。
We've all been on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior…
我们一直都是消极攻击行为的接受者，
and maybe even been guilty of it ourselves.
并一直为此感到内疚。
Honestly, it kind of feels like an unfortunate but normal part of social interaction.
老实说，它就像一种不幸但正常的社会互动。
But in psychology, the idea is a lot more controversial.
但在心理学上，这个观点更有争议性。
Psychologists define passive-aggressive behavior as a deliberate but covert way of expressing feelings of anger.
心理学家将消极攻击行为定义为故意而隐蔽地表达愤怒情绪的方式。
And it's not just Post-Its—this behavior can take a lot of forms,
它不是只有便利贴这一种表现形式，
from the silent treatment to sarcasm and pointed jokes.
还有从沉默相待到讽刺尖锐的笑话等许多形式。
It can also include indirect violence—like slamming around pots and pans—
它还包括间接暴力，比如把锅碗瓢盆弄得当当响，
and unhelpful one-word responses... you know, like: Sure...Whatever...Fine.
以及用Sure...Whatever...Fine等单个词敷衍回答。
But one of the weird things about passive-aggressive behavior is how complicated its history is.
消极攻击行为的一个奇怪之处是它历史复杂。
The term "passive-aggressive" originated in the American military during World War II.
“消极攻击”一词起源于二战期间的美国军队。
It was used to describe soldiers who refused to comply with orders in a particular way.
它被用来形容那些用特殊方法拒绝服从命令的士兵。
Rather than refusing outright, these soldiers sulked, procrastinated, and were deliberately inefficient.
这些士兵没有直接拒绝，而是用生闷气、拖延，故意低效的方式反抗。
And yes, it annoyed the heck out of the officers.
这惹恼了军官们。
So, when the first edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Disorders, or DSM, was published in 1952,
因此，当第一版《疾病诊断与统计手册》(DSM)在1952年出版时，
psychologists basically just copied-and-pasted this stuff in
心理学家就把这些东西大体都复制粘贴到了上面，
and called it passive-aggressive personality disorder.
并称它为被动攻击型人格障碍。
And, at the time, it seemed to be a pretty good working definition of a real condition.
当时，它似乎是对真实情况恰当可行的定义。
In 1966, passive-aggressive personality disorder was diagnosed in 3% of patients in public psychiatric hospitals
1966年，有3%公立精神病院的病人被确诊为被动攻击型人格障碍。
and 9% of those who visited outpatient clinics, where people don't stay overnight.
9%到不留夜的门诊就医的病人确诊。
But by the time the fourth edition of the DSM was published, it had become more controversial.
但当第四版DSM出版时，它变得更具争议性。
It ended up getting pulled from the main text, put into the appendix,
它最终被踢出正文，被放到了附录中，
tweaked, and renamed negativistic personality disorder.
调整后被重新命名为抗拒性人格障碍。
And in the DSM-5, it no longer appears at all.
在第5版DSM中，它不再出现。
But psychologists still argue about it.
但心理学家仍然对此争论不休。
Some papers even have dramatic titles, like "The Demise of a Syndrome."
有些报纸甚至用了引人注目的标题，如“一种综合症的消亡”。
Those who criticize the idea of passive-aggressive personality disorder think one of the big problems is that
那些批评被动攻击型人格障碍的人认为，它存在的一个严重问题是
there's a difference between being frustrated by an annoying behavior and pathologizing it.
被恼人的行为挫败与病态化是有区别的。
They argue that it's a response to certain situations, not an ingrained personality trait.
他们认为它是对某些情况的反应，而不是一种根深蒂固的性格特征。
Plus, they think the disorder overlaps too much with other personality disorders
另外，他们认为这种障碍与其他人格障碍重叠过多，
and focuses on too narrow of a set of behaviors.
而且关注一套行为的范围过窄。
And then there's the fact that there aren't a whole lot of direct studies observing and measuring it,
事实上，没有很多直接的研究观察和测量它，
though, to be fair, that's true of most personality disorders.
不过，公平地说，大多数人格障碍都是如此。
Still, there are some arguments for passive-aggressive personality disorder as a thing.
现在还有一些关于被动攻击型人格障碍的争论。
Studies published in 2009 and 2012 found that
2009年和2012年发表的研究发现，
the definition of passive-aggressive personality disorder more accurately
被动攻击型人格障碍的定义比抗拒性人格障碍的定义更能准确地
described the symptoms and experiences of the subjects than that of negativistic personality disorder.
描述受试者的症状和经历。
And even if this behavior only appears situationally, it's possible that it's based in a stable personality trait.
即使这种行为只在某种情境中出现，但也可能是基于稳定的人格特质。
A paper published in 1970 followed up with 100 patients
1970年发表的一篇论文追踪了100名患者，
who were diagnosed with passive-aggressive personality disorder after 15 years.
15年后，他们被诊断出患有被动攻击型人格障碍。
And the researchers found that these patients' symptoms were fairly stable over the long term.
研究人员发现，这些患者的症状在长期内相当稳定。
But whether or not it's a personality disorder, psychologists seem to agree that
但不管消极攻击行为是不是一种人格障碍，心理学家似乎都同意
there are fairly strong theoretical underpinnings of passive-aggressive behavior.
它的理论基础相当坚实。
At least one study has suggested that there might be a genetic component to it.
至少有一项研究表明它可能有遗传成分。
But more research seems to support the idea
但更多的研究似乎支持一种观点，
that it can be the result of things like ineffective parenting, neglect, and abuse.
即它可能是无效养育、忽视和虐待等行为的结果。
Essentially, the idea is that if a child grows up with situations
这个观点的本质是，如果一个孩子成长的环境
where it's not appropriate to express anger or disagreement,
不适合表达愤怒或不同意见，
they find ways to be defiant that are socially acceptable and won't result in bad consequences.
那么他们会找一种能被社会接受，又不会导致糟糕结果的挑衅方法。
Along these lines, a 2003 study had 62 heterosexual couples keep daily diaries for three weeks.
沿着这些思路，2003年的一项研究让62对异性恋情侣连续三周每天都写日记。
And the researchers found that people who were more sensitive to rejection
研究人员发现，那些对拒绝更敏感的人
were more likely to use passive strategies in a disagreement.
更倾向于在分歧中使用消极策略。
Specifically, those people were more likely to stay silent to avoid arguments,
具体来说，这些人更倾向于保持沉默以避免争论，
to withdraw rather than expressing hostility,
退缩而不是表达敌意，
and to be less loving to their partners after they argued.
并且在争吵之后减少对伴侣的爱意。
So it seems like there are some consistent reasons why people might act passive-aggressively.
因此，似乎有一些一致理由可以解释人们为什么会采取消极被动的行为。
That said, all this isn't great.
也就是说，所有这些都不好。
Although passive-aggressive behavior may help in certain situations,
虽然消极攻击行为在某些情况下可能有帮助，
in most cases, it's a frustrating and unproductive way to deal with conflict.
但在大多数情况下，它是一种处理冲突的无效方式。
So what can you do about it?
那么你能做些什么呢？
In terms of therapy and treatment… there isn't enough research right now to say
在理疗和治疗方面，现在还没有足够的研究说明
whether counseling can really help people whose lives are seriously impacted by their passive-aggressive behavior.
咨询是否真能帮助那些深受消极攻击行为影响的人们。
But for passive-aggressiveness in your day-to-day life, psychologists do have a few pointers.
但针对你日常的消极攻击行为，心理学家给出了几点建议。
You can pay attention to whether you might be triggering this kind of response
你可以通过变得极度沮丧或自我消极攻击
by getting extremely upset or being passive-aggressive yourself.
来关注自己是否会触发这种反应。
And you can also try actively encouraging open, honest conversations.
你也可以尝试积极鼓励开诚布公的对话。
But mostly, more research needs to be done to better understand passive-aggressive behavior
但大多数情况下，我们需要更多的研究来更好地理解消极攻击行为，
and to settle the debates once and for all.
并一次性解决所有争论。
Thanks for watching this episode of SciShow Psych!
感谢您收看本期的心理科学秀！
If you want to learn more about behaviors that can be not so great in relationships,
如果你想了解更多关系中的不合适行为，
check out our episode on codependency.
可以看看情感依赖症的那期节目。
