评论
打印
You guys, it was 90 degrees in New York City today.
朋友们，今天纽约达到了90华氏度。
Yeah. You know it's bad when you get that dirty gust of wind from the subway and you go,
没错，吸入地铁的污浊空气一定很糟糕，
Ahh! Wow. That feels good. I hope everyone had a good Father's Day. Did you have a good Father's Day?
但你却哦哦...这个感觉不错，希望所有人都能够度过一个愉快的父亲节，你们的父亲节愉快吗？
I read that, this year, Americans spent around 15 billion dollars on Father's Day.
听说今年，美国在父亲节花费了150亿美金。
When dads thanked their kids for the gifts, the kids were like,
当父亲们感谢孩子送的礼物时，孩子们会说，
No problem. I ordered them using your Amazon account. Right? Cool?
没问题，我用的是你的亚马逊账户爸爸，太棒了。
Let's get to some news here. He's talked about it before, but, today,
来看看其他新闻，小特之前谈过，但今天，
President Trump officially ordered the creation of a new military branch. Check this out.
小特官方命令建造军事分支，来看看他是怎么说的。
I'm hereby directing the Depart of Defense and Pentagon to immediately begin the process necessary
我命令国防部和五角大楼马上运作必要程序，
to establish a Space Force as the sixth branch of the Armed Forces.
建造太空部队，我们的第六个分支部队。
The Space Force. Trump was like, It won't be that hard. It's not like it's rocket science. It's.....
太空部队，小特认为这不是难事，这不是什么高深的东西。
Actually, it is. That's right...Trump wants the Space Force to be the sixth branch of the military.
其实真的很高深，没错，小特希望建造太空部队，我们的第六个军事分支部队。
He said, It will come right after the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the Avengers, and the Incredibles.
他说他将排在陆军，海军，海豹突击队，复仇者联盟以及超人特工队之后。
But it was true he's actually creating the Space Force.
但其实他真的在打造太空部队。
It's all part of Trump's plan to have one stupid idea distract from his other stupid ideas.
其实这是小特从一个愚蠢想法换到另外一个愚蠢想法的计划。
You go, What is next? Well, this is a big story. The Trump administration is facing criticism
下一个是什么？下面是大新闻，小特政府面临指责，
for separating immigrant children from their parents.
原因是将移民儿童和父母分离。
Some people say they couldn't believe Trump would do something like this.
许多人不相信小特会干出这样的事情。
Then African-Americans, Muslims, DACA recipients, transgender troops, and Special Olympians were like, We can.
随后，非洲裔美国人，穆斯林，追梦人受益人，以及变性部队，以及特殊奥运会成员称，我们可以这么做。
We could see it. That's right, the Trump administration is separating immigrant kids from their parents at the border.
我们能看到，小特政府将边境儿童和父母分离。
But experts say there's an easy fix to the problem, the midterms.
但专家称其实解决办法很简单，那就是中期选举。
That's right. A lot of people are upset about it. Even Melania Trump came out against her husband.
没错，许多人对此感到不安，就连梅拉尼娅都要反对丈夫。
This is real. Her office released a statement that said Mrs. Trump hates to see children separated from their families.
没错，她的办公室公布声明，称特朗普女士反对儿童和父母分离。
Then it said however, Mrs. Trump is totally okay with wives being separated from their husbands.
之后又说，特朗普女士对妻子和丈夫分离表示谅解。
Here's some good news, you guys. This weekend, Beyonce and Jay-Z released a surprise album together,
来看看其它新闻，本周末碧昂丝和Jay-Z一起推出了专辑，此举很让人意外，
along with a new music video that they filmed inside the Louvre in Paris.
一起公布的还有一个MV，这是他们在巴黎卢浮宫拍摄的。
And a lot of people in the art world have reacted to the video, including some actual pieces of art.
许多艺术品中的人物对此做出了回应，包括一些真实存在的艺术品。
Really? I'll show you what I mean. Yeah. For example, Van Gogh's self-portrait said I might only have one ear,
真的吗？来看看，比如梵高的自画像说，我或许只有一只耳朵，
but I can still tell this album is lit a-f. Wow! Wow!
但我依然可以说，这张专辑棒极了。
I didn't know that. He said it was lit a-f. He said Van Gogh, The painting...
真没听说过，他说棒极了，梵高说的，这幅画，
Yeah. His self-portrait said, Said it's lit a-f. Yeah, that's right. Wow!
没错，他的自画像说的，他说棒极了，哦哦。
Next up, American Gothic was like we're basically the Beyonce and Jay-Z of the art world.
下一个是，《美式哥特》说，我们基本上就是二人在艺术当中的模样。
Game respecting game. Wow! And, finally, the Mona Lisa was like good luck figuring out what I thought.
尊严游戏，哦哦，最后一个说是《蒙娜丽莎》，她说你们猜到了我在想什么，太棒了。
Ooh! She's so hard to read! So hard to read that Lisa. Oh, man.
哦哦，她太难解读了，太难解读丽莎了，天啊。
Is she smiling? Does she know a secret? Yeah. She's got a secret. I don't know. We don't know what's happening.
她是在微笑吗？她有秘密吗？她有秘密，我不知道，我们不知道发生了什么。
Allergies. We have no idea. Flonase. Turns out the Mona Lisa just had allergies.
过敏，不知道，用葛兰素史克，其实蒙娜丽莎患上了过敏症。
Yeah. Do you think that's what it was? That's the mysterious look.
没错，你以为这是什么，神秘的样子。
She's about to sneeze or something. Lit a-f.
她是要打喷嚏或怎样，太棒了。
Get this, guys, I read about a marijuana company in Los Angeles that just sold a joint that's 3 feet long.
来听听这个，听说一家洛杉矶大麻公司卖了一根3英尺长的大麻。
And this is very thoughtful. They even included a little guide explaining what happens when you smoke a 3-foot joint.
这引人深思，他们甚至还奉上了说明，解释当你吸食这根3英尺大麻时会发生什么。
Check this out. After 6 inches you call the supermarket to ask why peanut butter doesn't come in sticks like regular butter.
来看看，6英寸后，你给超市打电话，询问为什么花生酱不能像普通酱一样，一根一根的。
After a foot you realize you're talking into your wallet instead of your phone.
一英尺之后，你发现你对着钱包说话，而不是手机。
After a foot and a half you try to plug your wallet in so you can call the supermarket and get to the bottom of this peanut butter thing.
1.5英尺之后，你试着将钱包插进去，这样你可以给超市打电话了，直接深入到花生酱底部。
After 2 feet you realize you've stuffed your wallet into a jar of peanut butter.
2英尺之后，你发现你的钱包已经在花生酱罐里了。
After 2 1/2 feet, you bring you peanut-buttered wallet to the Apple store to get repaired.
2.5英尺之后，你带着花生酱钱包去苹果商店维修。
And, last, after 3 feet, the guy working at the genius bar says, Mr Rogen, this is a sephora.
3英尺之后，在天才吧工作的员工说，罗根先生，这一切都是虚构的。
Just don't, Steer clear， You don't need 3 feet of... And, finally, this is interesting.
远离大麻，你不需要三英尺的大麻，这个有意思。
A new survey found that fewer teenagers are having sex and doing drugs.
新研究发现青少年发生性关系和吸毒的数量在减少。
Or and hear me out，they're lying. There you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots!
或者说，他们在说谎，今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
