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Embracing otherness. When I first heard this theme, I thought, well, embracing otherness is embracing myself.
拥抱他人。当我第一次听到这个主题时，我觉得拥抱他人就是拥抱我自己。
And the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me,
对于我来说，通往理解和接纳的路是十分有意思的。
and it's given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which I think is worth sharing with you today.
并且让我对“自我”这一概念，有了深刻的理解，我想这值得在今天和你们分享。
We each have a self, but I don't think that we're born with one. You know how newborn babies believe they're part of everything; they're not separate?
我们都有一个自我，但我并不认为这是与生俱来的，你看那些刚出生的小婴儿，他们认为自己属于任何事物，他们并不是脱离的。
Well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. It's like that initial stage is over -- oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive.
这种最基本的同一性，会很快从我们身上消失，如同最初始的状态已经结束，同一性：婴儿期，未成形的，原始的。
It's no longer valid or real. What is real is separateness, and at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form.
它将不复存在。取而代之的是分离，在婴儿期的某一点，关于自我的意识开始萌芽。
Our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself,
我们同一性的一小部分被赋予了一个名字，被告知关于它自己的任何事情，
and these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity.
这些细节，观点和想法变成事实，这些都帮我们形成自我以及自己的身份。
And that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world.
然后这个自我就成为一个工具，用来探索周围的这个世界。
But the self is a projection based on other people's projections. Is it who we really are? Or who we really want to be, or should be?
但是这个自我实际上是一个投影，以其他人的投影为基础，这就是真正的我们吗？是我们真正想成为，或者应该成为的人吗？
So this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up.
在我成长过程中，我一直都很难处理自我与身份之间的相互影响。
The self that I attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again.
那个我尝试着向周围的世界展示的自我被一次又一次拒绝。
And my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected,
因为没有一个合适的自我而带来的恐慌，以及因为被拒绝而产生的惶恐。
created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time.
引起了我的焦虑，羞愧，还有无望。这些在很长一段时间里都限制了我。
But in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repetitive that I started to see a pattern.
但当我回想过去，对于自我的毁灭反复出现，我开始看出一些规律。
The self changed, got affected, broken, destroyed, but another one would evolve -- sometimes stronger, sometimes hateful, sometimes not wanting to be there at all.
一个自我被改变，被影响，被打击破坏，但有一个新的会形成，有时更强，有时充满仇恨，有时则根本不想出现。
The self was not constant. And how many times would my self have to die before I realized that it was never alive in the first place?
这个自我并不是恒定的，在我还没有意识到这个自我曾经从未存在时，我的“自我” 会死多少次呢？
