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I grew up on the coast of England in the '70s. My dad is white from Cornwall, and my mom is black from Zimbabwe.
我于上世纪七十年代，生长在英格兰的海岸边，我父亲是来自康沃尔的白人，我母亲是来自津巴布韦的黑人。
Even the idea of us as a family was challenging to most people. But nature had its wicked way, and brown babies were born.
对于许多人来说，是无论如何也想不到我们是一家人。但大自然自有意想不到的一面，棕色的孩子出生了。
But from about the age of five, I was aware that I didn't fit. I was the black atheist kid in the all-white Catholic school run by nuns.
但自从五岁开始，我就察觉出我的格格不入。我是一个信奉无神论的黑人孩子，在一个由修女运转的白人天主学校。
I was an anomaly, and my self was rooting around for definition and trying to plug in.
我是一个另类，我的自我在不断寻找一个定义，并试图将自己套入定义。
Because the self likes to fit, to see itself replicated, to belong. That confirms its existence and its importance. And it is important.
因为自我都是愿意去融入，看到自己被复制，有归属感。那能确认自我的存在感和重要性，这很重要。
It has an extremely important function. Without it, we literally can't interface with others.
这有一个极端重要的功能，没有一个对自我的定义，我们简直不能和其他人交流。
We can't hatch plans and climb that stairway of popularity, of success. But my skin color wasn't right.
我们无法制定计划，无法爬上潮流和成功的阶梯，但我的肤色不对。
My hair wasn't right. My history wasn't right. My self became defined by otherness, which meant that, in that social world, I didn't really exist.
我的发色不对，我的来历不对，我的自我被他人定义，这意味着在社会上，我并不存在。
And I was "other" before being anything else -- even before being a girl. I was a noticeable nobody.
我首先被定义为一个另类，甚至先于被定义为一个女孩，我是一个引人注意的没有人。
Another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. That nagging dread of self-hood didn't exist when I was dancing.
在这个时候，另一个世界出现了，那就是表演和舞蹈。对于自我纠缠不清的恐惧，在我跳舞时并不存在。
I'd literally lose myself. And I was a really good dancer. I would put all my emotional expression into my dancing.
我像是失去了自己，我是一个好的舞蹈演员，我会把我所有的感情投入到舞蹈中去。
I could be in the movement in a way that I wasn't able to be in my real life, in myself.
在舞蹈中，我能完成我在现实中自己无法做到的动作。
