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Guys, there were some great March Madness games this weekend.
朋友们，本周末有许多精彩的“疯狂三月”篮球比赛。
Now we're down to the final four. Virginia is taking on Auburn. And Michigan State is taking on Texas Tech.
目前仅剩下四强，弗吉尼亚大学对阵奥本大学，密西根州立对抗德州理工。
Meanwhile, Duke will be taking on Netflix and some Ben and Jerry's. It was a tough loss.
同时，杜克大学将对抗Netflix网站和一些本杰瑞冰淇淋，是场惨败。
Duke was the number-one overall team, but they got beat by Michigan State.
杜克从整体上是排名第一的，但却被密西根州立打败。
Duke scored 67 points, which happens to be the same number of points you get in Scrabble for the word Krzyzewski.
杜克夺得了67分，这个分数和你在图版游戏Scrabble里拼Krzyzewski单词的得分一样。
Did you know that? Yeah. Let's get to some news here.
你知道吗？没错，来看看其他新闻。
The big political story is that President Trump is threatening to shut down the Mexican border
最大政治新闻时，小特总统威胁关闭美墨边境，
to stop the flow of migrants. You can tell he's serious about closing it down because today he hired the CEOs of Sears, Payless, and Blockbuster. Oh.
从而阻止移民流，他对关闭边境很是认真，因为他今天雇佣了希尔斯、Payless以及Blockbuster三家公司的首席执行官。哦哦。
He's getting stuff done. They know what they're doing. They know how to do it. Some more news about the president.
他正在努力，他们知道自己在干啥，他们知道如何做，看看总统的新闻。
The Justice Department says that they'll release the entire Mueller report later this month.
司法部称他们将在本月末公布关于穆勒的所有报告。
Then Trump said just release it today so that anything bad seems like an April Fool's joke. Trust me.
小特说就今天公布吧，任何坏新闻都看似是愚人节笑话，相信我。
Here's another big political story. A politician named Lucy Flores is accusing Joe Biden of inappropriately kissing the back of her head and smelling her hair.
来看看政治大新闻，一位名叫露西·弗劳利斯的政客指控拜登不适当地亲吻她的后脑，并闻她的头发。
When he heard that, President Obama was like, I forgot, whenever he does that, just spritz him with a little water right in his face.
当他听说后，奥巴马总统说到，我忘了，无论他什么时候做，只要在他面前喷洒一点水就行了。
Just get him right in the face. Shake a can of dimes. It's not a good look for Biden.
冲他的脸喷洒，摇晃一罐硬币，拜登可是出丑了。
If any other women come forward and say he acted inappropriate, he could get elected president. I mean...
如果还有女性出面，称他的行为不端，那么他或许会当选总统，我的意思是...
Here's some TV news, guys. Last night was the season premiere of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. We love that show.
来看看电视新闻，昨晚是《与卡戴珊一家同行》新一季的首映，我们热爱这部剧。
And for the first time ever, they got Kanye to sit down for an interview.
也是史上首次，他们请来了坎耶来接受采访。
He had pretty interesting reasons for why he decided to start doing interviews on the show. Watch this.
关于为什么决定在节目上接受采访，他的原因很有趣，看看。
Part of the reason why I even thought about or considered doing this, um... this recording, like, what do you call it,
我考虑进行这个的部分原因是，这个唱片，你们怎么叫，
interview?, this interview is because of the movie The Incredibles. Why? It starts off with the interviews.
采访？这个采访是因为，这部电影《超人总动员》，为什么？因为它是以采访开始的。
The superheroes are giving interviews. The wife got a big butt,
超人接受了采访，妻子的臀部很大，
and I just see our life becoming more and more and more like The Incredibles until we can finally fly.
我看到我的生活越来越像《超人总动员》了，最终我们可以飞翔。
Turns out that was also the last interview Kanye did for the show.
结果是，这是坎耶在节目上接受的最后一个采访。
You guys, a big movie at the box office right now is Dumbo, the Disney film about a flying circus elephant.
朋友们，目前票房佳片是《小飞象》，是一部关于马戏团飞象的迪士尼影片。
Hey, Jimmy, uh, I just wanted to say that I really loved Dumbo. Oh, did you, Tariq? Yeah, yeah, the special effects were amazing.
嗨吉米，我想说的是我特别喜欢小飞象，真的吗塔里克？没错，特效很棒。
And Danny DeVito was fantastic. Oh, and I really loved the part when Jimmy wouldn't stop talking the whole time.
丹尼·德·维托太棒了，我特别喜欢，尤其是当吉米不停地在说这部电影时。
Oh, so glad you enjoyed it. I loved it, too. Colin Farrell was incredible. It had brilliant cinematography.
你喜欢我很高兴，我也很喜欢，科林·法瑞尔超棒，拍摄的很棒。
Oh, and I really loved when Tariq got up to use the bathroom the exact second Dumbo first flew. So special!
哦，我特别喜欢，尤其是当塔里克起身要去厕所的同时，小飞象开始了第一次飞翔，太特别了。
But wasn't it great? How about that fire scene? Oh, and the part when Jimmy sneezed in the popcorn? Amazing! Yeah,
很棒对吗？那个着火现场场景呢？哦，是吉米在爆米花里打喷嚏那个？太棒了，没错。
what about that emotional scene with Dumbo and his mom? Was that when Tariq checked his phone, laughed at a GIF, and ruined the moment?
那个感动场景呢？当时是小飞象和他的妈妈，当时是不是塔里克在看手机，正在对着动态图笑，并毁了这个时刻？
Michael Keaton was great! Yeah, he's almost as evil as Jimmy when he ate the Junior Mints that Tariq was saving.
迈克尔·基顿超棒，没错，他和吉米一样凶险，当时他正在吃塔里克存起来的薄荷糖组合。
That was...Oh, oh, oh, oh, and I love the costumes. It almost made me forget that I sat on a Klondike bar that Tariq left on my seat.
这个吗，哦哦哦，我喜欢里面的服装，这几乎让我忘了，我坐在了塔里克放在我座位上的克朗代克巧克力棒。
So good! So good. So, you good to see Shazam! next weekend? Yeah. See you there, buddy. Cool.
不错，不错，很高兴见到沙赞，下周末？没错，那天见兄弟，好吧。
Listen to this, today a computer glitch grounded flights across the country for several major airlines,
听听这个，有个电脑错误让全美几大航空公司停飞，
including American, Delta, United, and Southwest. Most airlines apologized, while Southwest said,
包括美国航空、达美航空公司、美国联合航空以及西南航空，多数公司道歉了，然而西南却说，
We're considered a major airline? Awesome! Yes! High fives! Hey, in some business news,
我们被称作是大航空公司？太棒了，鼓个掌，听听商业新闻，
I heard that pretty soon Walgreens is going to start selling CBD products in their stores.
听说Walgreens药品公司将马上销售大麻二酚。
Meanwhile, you can get actual weed at any Walmart if you just raise your eyebrows at the right employee.
同时，你可以在任意沃尔玛买到大麻，前提是向正确的雇员扬起眉毛。
And finally..This made me laugh. Students in Ohio just had a week of standardized testing.
最后，这个让我大笑，俄亥俄学生经历了一周标准化测试。
Okay, so a local news station made them a video, but it seems like the anchors might have tried a little too hard to appeal to kids.
好吧，一些当地电台给他们录了一段，但似乎主持人在吸引孩子上太过用力。
This is real. Watch this. Good morning, TPS students. It is testing week, and it's time to slay all day.
这个真的，看看，早上好，TPS的学生们，本周是测试周，大家可以尽情“残杀”了。
Yeet! Stay woke, be on fleek, and get that Gucci breakfast. Goals! Say Bye, Felicia to that testing stress.
对的，头脑要保持清醒，完美啊，食用古驰早餐，好的，对测试压力说再见费利西娅。
Weather's gonna be turnt, right, Chris? Yaaaas! Toledo weather is gonna be v. lit during testing week.
天气一定很棒，是不是克里斯，没错，托莱多的天气将会是炎热的。
A hundo-P chance of success. You've got this, kids. Steve, how about that traffic?
成功几率非常高，清楚了吗，史蒂夫，交通如何？
Are we looking oh? Better than oh! Oh! Meanwhile, the cameraman was like, Well, that was awkward AF.
我们是不是要？是不是比好？同时，摄像师傅在说，什么鬼。
