But as much as you humans love me, you're not nearly the first species to clamor for my substantial flesh.
但是虽然你们人类很爱我,但是你们远不是第一个吵着要吃我的肉的物种。
Millennia ago in my native southern Mexico and Central America, there existed beasts with digestive systems large enough to process and then disperse my massive pit.
几千年前,在我的家乡墨西哥南部和中美洲,存在着消化系统足够大的野兽,它们可以处理并传播我巨大的果核。
These were the so-called megafauna: sloths that could reach ten feet tall;
这些就是所谓的巨型动物:能长到十英尺高的树懒;
armadillo-like glyptodons that were as big as small cars; and gomphotheres, cousins of the elephant, with their ginormous tusks.
像犰狳一样的雕齿兽,有小汽车那么大;还有大象的近亲嵌齿象,他们有着巨大的象牙。
Historians and botanists don't know exactly which of these snacked on me,
历史学家和植物学家并不知道这些物种的哪些以我为食。
but they all would have been able to pop me into their mouths like peanuts, then poop out my pits far and wide for new trees to grow.
但是他们都可以把我像花生一样放进我的嘴里。然后把我的果核排到很远的地方,好让新树长起来。
Without them to spread my unusually large seed, my creamy green gift would have been little more than a weird and momentary blip in fruit's sugary history.
没有它们散播我异常大的种子,我这个奶油绿色的礼物只不过是含糖水果历史上一个奇怪而短暂的小插曲。
Fast-forward to about 13,000 years ago, when humans came along and hunted my behemoth patrons into extinction.
快退到13000年前,那时人类出现并猎杀我的巨兽主顾导致其灭绝。
That would have been the end of me, too, had people not decided that they also loved a dose of plant-based fat.
如果人类不喜欢这种植物性脂肪的话,我这个物种也会灭绝的。
While human digestion can't accommodate my pit, your hands can,
虽然人类的消化系统不能容纳我的果核,但是你们的手可以,
and I was able to achieve even wider distribution via the thumb-carrying Homo sapiens who ate me and tossed my seed here and there.
我们能够通过长有拇指的智人实现更广泛的分布,他们吃了我,把我的种子扔得到处都是。
One last word—of caution. There has been a spate of "avocado hand,"
最后一个要小心的事。“牛油果手”已经出现了一大批,
which is what happens when well-meaning guac makers whack their knives at my pit in hopes of dislodging it but instead find themselves with a blade in the palm.
当好心的牛油果酱生产商用刀子对我的果核重击,希望能把它弄出来,但是手掌却被刀刃弄伤时,就会发生这种情况。
ER doctors report an increase in such incidents and strongly advise caution when preparing me.
急诊室的医生报告说,这类事件在增加,并强烈建议人们在加工我时要谨慎。
Please listen to them. My reputation for being both healthy and rich gets dinged when I bite the hand that breeds me.
请听取他们的建议。在使我生长的手受伤的时候,我的有益健康和营养丰富的声誉会受到重击。