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Trauma, Love & Becoming a Better Man: with rapper-actor Common
创伤，爱和成为一个更好的男人：说唱歌手演员Common
Opening up like never before, the star reflects on a haunting sexual assault, becoming a father and why he still hopes to find true love
这位明星从未像现在这样敞开心扉，他反思了一场令人难忘的性侵事件，成为一名父亲，以及为什么他仍然希望找到真爱
Seated inside a small Brooklyn café, the artist known as Common (born Lonnie Rashid Lynn) looks up from his hot tea to see a group of teens staring in through the window.
这位名为Common的艺术家（原名朗尼·拉希德·林恩）坐在布鲁克林一家小咖啡馆里，喝完热茶抬起头来，看到一群十几岁的孩子正透过窗户往里看。
He smiles warmly and gives a wave as the group celebrates their celeb spotting before continuing down the block.
他热情地笑了笑，向大家挥手示意庆祝他们发现明星，然后他们沿着街走了。
They're blissfully unaware that while they were gawking, he was in the middle of rehashing some of his life's most painful moments.
他们很幸运，没有意识到当他们呆呆地看着他的时候，他正在重温他生命中一些最痛苦的时刻。
"As stars, we put ourselves out there and act like everything is good, everything is perfect," he says.
他说：“作为明星，我们在公众面前，表现得好像一切都很好，一切都很完美。”
"But we all have wounds in our life. I want people to know that we all go through stuff. And we all need support and help."
“但我们的生活中都有伤痛。我想让人们知道我们都会经历一些事情。我们都需要支持和帮助。”
The Grammy-and Oscar-winning rapper, actor and activist is well-known for his poignant and poetic way with words.
这位格莱美奖和奥斯卡奖得主、说唱歌手、演员和活动家以其辛辣而富有诗意的语言方式而闻名。
At the 2015 Oscars he and John Legend moved many in the audience to tears during the stirring performance of their civil rights anthem "Glory." But now the star, 47, is digging deeper.
在2015年的奥斯卡颁奖典礼上，他和约翰·传奇在演唱民权歌曲《荣耀》时激动人心的表演让很多观众潸然泪下。但现在这位47岁的明星更加深入。
In his newly released memoir Let Love Have the Last Word, Common examines his greatest hardships—the trauma of being molested around age 9, his strained relationship with his adult daughter Omoye, 21, and the repeated heartache of numerous breakups.
在他最新出版的回忆录《让爱来做最后的决定》中，Common审视了他最大的痛苦——9岁左右被猥亵的创伤，他与21岁的成年女儿奥莫伊(Omoye)的紧张关系，以及无数次分手后反复出现的心痛。
In revealing so much, Common hopes to show that—with forgiveness and a good amount of therapy—peace and happiness are attainable. "We've got to start shifting our perspective," he says.
揭示这么多，Common希望表明，借助原谅和大量的治疗，和平和幸福是可以实现的。“我们必须开始转变观点，”他说。
"Everything can be overcome with love." What was your goal with this book? Were you worried at all about being so open and vulnerable?
“爱可以战胜一切。”你写这本书的目的是什么？你真的担心自己会如此开放和脆弱吗？
I wanted to go places where I feel like as a black man we don't always go. It hasn't been part of our culture.
我想去的地方，我觉得作为一个黑人，我们并不总是去。这不是我们文化的一部分。
When I was talking about being molested, it was like man, you know what? I'm going to write about this.
当我说到被猥亵的时候，就像男人，你知道吗？我要写下来。
In black and brown communities we do deal with this. I've visited prisons where men are like, "I was sexually abused."
在黑人和棕色人种的社区里，我们确实要处理这个问题。我去过监狱，那里的男人说，“我被性虐待了。”
A guy on my own team came to me and said, "It happened to me when I was younger." I'm not caring about the stigma. I'm going to speak it with the hope that other people heal from it.
我的团队里有一个人对我说：“我年轻的时候就发生过这种事。”我不在乎耻辱。我想说的是希望其他人能从中恢复过来。
You write that a male family friend sexually abused you while you both shared a bed during a family trip when you were 9 or 10, and it caused you to instantly feel "a deep and sudden shame."
你写道，在你9岁或10岁的一次家庭旅行中，当你和一位男性的家人的朋友同床时，他对你进行性侵犯，这让你立刻感到“深深的、突然的羞耻”。
What was your coping mechanism? I kind of wiped that out of my mind for a while. For a long time. I had a tendency to do that, to tuck things away in a corner.
你的应对机制是什么?我暂时忘记了这一点。很长一段时间。我有这样的倾向，把东西藏在角落里。
My journey back to it came with all the work I've been doing on myself, from prayer to meditation to therapy to art.
我回想起这件事的时候，我为自己做了很多，从祈祷到冥想，从治疗到艺术。
I didn't even realize it happened until I was doing a film called The Tale, which deals with that subject matter.
直到我拍了一部叫《故事》的电影，才意识到这件事的发生，那部电影以此为主题。
I actually told my costar Laura Dern, "Yo, I think this happened to me." It just started coming back to me.
事实上，我告诉我的搭档劳拉·邓恩，“嘿，我想这事发生在我身上了。”我开始想起来了。
